What do you do when a Player dies?

[FitzTheRuke]

I really mean Player, not their character.

One of my Tuesday Night Group lost a quick, but valiant battle with aggressive stomach cancer. He was only 51, and he had two (thankfully grown) kids, and a wife, who'd been with him, I think, something like 30 years. We'd been gaming together since early 2008, so 17 years of weekly (on average) get-togethers.

I'm really going to miss him.

But I'm not here for sympathy, and in spite of the thread title, I'm not really looking for advice. I'm sure I'll muddle along.

No, instead, I'd like to hear YOUR stories, if you don't mind me dragging you through some potential pain, to find some joy.

My buddy James loved stories, and he didn't let his very bleak diagnosis get him down. I hope I'm half as brave when it's my time.

Anyone want to share? I'm sure I'm not the only one here who's lost a table-mate.

 

[aco175]

I had a friend brought into the group maybe 20 years ago now with another who played. They were fine people and became regulars. We played several years together and occasionally got together as a group out of D&D. We were friends.

He hung himself one day in the woods near his home. Seems like he has some online stuff with underage girls and the police may have been onto him. I guess he could not find a way out. Never really know people.

 

[FitzTheRuke]

I had a friend brought into the group maybe 20 years ago now with another who played. They were fine people and became regulars. We played several years together and occasionally got together as a group out of D&D. We were friends.

He hung himself one day in the woods near his home. Seems like he has some online stuff with underage girls and the police may have been onto him. I guess he could not find a way out. Never really know people.

Quite the story. I suppose that in some ways, it's exactly the kind of thing I was looking for, if maybe a bit shocking in the details.

 

[bedir than]

I really mean Player, not their character.

One of my Tuesday Night Group lost a quick, but valiant battle with aggressive stomach cancer. He was only 51, and he had two (thankfully grown) kids, and a wife, who'd been with him, I think, something like 30 years. We'd been gaming together since early 2008, so 17 years of weekly (on average) get-togethers.

I'm really going to miss him.

But I'm not here for sympathy, and in spite of the thread title, I'm not really looking for advice. I'm sure I'll muddle along.

No, instead, I'd like to hear YOUR stories, if you don't mind me dragging you through some potential pain, to find some joy.

My buddy James loved stories, and he didn't let his very bleak diagnosis get him down. I hope I'm half as brave when it's my time.

Anyone want to share? I'm sure I'm not the only one here who's lost a table-mate.

John recently passed. He was part of several of my post-pandemic restriction campaigns. When talking to his wife I found out that he didn't want a traditional funeral. He did ask if our group could spend a session talking about him.

We did that and his wife was with us for that.

But we also did something bigger, playing a 3-table exhibition of D&D with 19 total players and DMs, and over a dozen people intentionally watching. There were also passers by.

I cried a lot that day, mostly happy tears, because our D&D game was one of John's few thrills away from the computer. We were his local friends. And the people who played with us that day included people I'd known for 40 years that had never played and people from me pre-pandemic campaigns and more -- all to celebrate John's life and silly stories with dice.