In this specific case of Moses the drow in Oofta's campaign.
First of all, thank you. I don't know why, maybe it was the visual image I got, but I found this hysterical and laughed about it until I almost cried. Thank you.
1. My understanding is that Oofta's drow are completely segregated from the "regular races" of society and that everyone in that society stays as far away from them as possible. That would imply (but I am inferring) that there aren't thieves guilds that deal with the drow or embassies with the drow or really any other connections with the "normal people" and the drow. My Moses the drow backstory allows me to have a tie to the drow with a character that might never encounter the drow, but also still function in society without being slaughtered on sight (because I was changed to look human but have drow magical abilites internal).
My character explores what a drow is intrinsically born into in Oofta's campaign. If he treats drow like demons, in that they are literally evil and violence incarnate and have no ability for a shade of grey then he can tell me my idea isn't going to work because I will attack the humans that get near me from a toddlers age and will never grow into a civilized adult to play as a PC. In that case I could move on to whatever else interested me in his campaign setting.
I hear what you are saying. Thank you for taking the time to explain. It is appreciated. I can't speak for Oofta and his campaign, so I can't answer why. All I can say is thank you for taking the time to explain.
2. I'm only interested in exploring the shades of grey in an "always evil, but why?" race. I don't have any flat-black-no-grey evil races in my game (except demons) because I think that's too basic of a concept to be an interesting addition. Even the races that are almost always nefarious (like yuan-ti for example) will have some individuals who are capable of being neutral or even good AND should have some ability to recognize when its worth it to become an ally. If I walked up to a yuan-ti cult, dropped off a bunch of snazzy weapons, and told them there is more in it for them if they help me out with Job X then it would be in their interests to help me to help themselves, not just loot my corpse and never see more weapons.
When you have a monolithic evil that is used as "the boogeyman" in a campaign, then unless its established and known their motivations and goals, then I am going to want to explore it. There are many interesting stories that end in "the boogeyman" being not evil at all. Ender's Game, I Am Legend, Terminator 2, Etc...
You don't have any in your game - except demons. That is the main concept I think everyone should take away - if a DM can accept demons as evil without a hint of good, it is not a far stretch to imagine any other thing as being outright evil. Including a DM saying drow.
If your true desire is to play a campaign exploring the "evil" of a race, then I would suggest DMing a campaign using only that race. WotC did it for 4e. An Underdark adventure where people played as one of the outcast houses in the drow sovereign. Your job was to either backstab your own house, raise one house so your house could become number 2, or try to bring down the other two houses. Great mini-campaign. I killed my entire party because I played a traditional drow - I backstabbed them all to increase my fortune. Even to this day, players mention it with laughs and pseudo-awe.
But to say I need to play this, bend your campaign even though you told me not to play this - eh?
3. I didn't "choose to play a drow". I offered up a character that seemed to address the major strikes against being a drow he frequently mentions (that people kill them on sight), I addressed how my character arrived in civilization instead of a different world, and even added a challenge to myself in that if I openly use any drow powers people might get suspicious and become hostile. I would even consider taking on the Sunlight Sensitivity even if Oofta told me its going to be in effect 90% of the time.
With all that stated, if Oofta still stuck to his guns and said "Still, no drow", I could easily find something else to play in his campaign. Then, if sometime later in the campaign the plot turns to "exploring why the boogeyman drow isn't as evil as everyone thinks they are" then i'm going to feel slighted because as a player that was the most interesting part of his campaign, but now i'm playing a dwarf who loves building mechanical dollhouses and doesn't give two shifts about the drow and I don't have the engagement I would have preferred.
No. Oofta, as the DM of his campaign, stated players are not allowed to play a drow. He stated specifically he would work with them if they wanted those mechanical benefits. But also clearly stated - you CANNOT be a drow.
And then your example is to - want to play a drow.
That is why one side is having such a hard time with this. Ask to play? Sure. Want the mechanical benefits? Sure. Always insisting on playing a character the DM has not listed? Not cool.