EarthsShadow
First Post
I'll give this a go.
I think a lot of it is the missassuming that goes on when a male gamer actuall plays with a female gamer, which is more rare than many think. I have only played with one female gamer in my life, and that one time lasted for one session because during that game two males in the group constantly harrassed her character sexually and demeaningly...and these two were the two best 'role' players in the group.
Since roleplaying is dominated by males, and since they play it more than females, I think a lot of males end up thinking they are superior to females that play it... and a lot of this is subconscious and they don't realize it, but it happens. This is an extension to our society as a whole, where males are raised to act a certain way and females another way.
Maybe another issue is the fact that male gamers are so used to playing amongst other males and most adventures treat female characters, and female NPC's, as sexual objects and nothing more, then it is assumed (again, probably not consciously but subconsciously) by male gamers that any female gamer that plays will probably play a character that is also like this because its something they are just used to. In a society where everybody wants equality but its hard to get because women are treated as sexual objects, by the media, movies, and general attitudes of how kids are raised into adulthood, then it kind of makes more sense how male gamers are unable to roleplay alongside female gamers the way they should be able to...with some maturity and forethought, which doesn't happen the way it should.
At the end of this one session that I played with, the female gamer that played told us that she won't play again because of the two buttheads that treated her like crap...and in a way I don't blame her. Those two treated her as a male raised in our society would usually end up treating a female in the first place.
As gamers in this hobby where the males vastly outnumber the females that play, we have some questions that I think were have been asking for many years: How to get more female gamers to play, AND keep playing after their first session?
Keep in mind that the majority of games are just males playing with other males (boy that does NOT sound right
). Also keep in mind that we are talking about gamers that are raised within a certain society, where the media has played a big factor in how males and females generally view each other, and that gaming is probably one of the more socially inclined forms of entertainment that the mass public has no knowledge of (with the exception of what the media has brought to them about it, which isn't very positive).
I may be wrong in some of what I have said, and others will disagree with me because opionions do vary, and that's cool because this is a discussion and its a good topic that should be addressed. Why do male gamers treat some female gamers like crap while playing the game?
Anybody else have any opinions.
Afrodyte: I'm sorry you went through that experience, but it wasn't near as bad as what the female gamer I played with went through. Her character was treated as nothing more than a sex object by those two guys. They were used to playing games with just males, run by a DM who treated females in the game with no respect (okay, you go to a tavern and see some raunchy tavern wenches taking orders, getting slapped on the butt, and laughing to each other about everything. Off to the back you see one of the local farmers heading upstairs with a attractive looking female.) This was the kind of DM he was, and this is the kind of games they were used to playing, and that is how they treated her character. I felt sorry for her after that.
Talk to your group, ask them if they even realize that they are acting that way. Talk to them before the game starts, not during the game. Talk to the DM and make sure he understands that its happening; its possible that none of them realize it and all they need is a wake up call. Some guys respond to this well, so it doesn't hurt to try. Don't give up on gaming, its a good way to spend time with friends and enjoy creative possibilities.
Good luck with it.
I think a lot of it is the missassuming that goes on when a male gamer actuall plays with a female gamer, which is more rare than many think. I have only played with one female gamer in my life, and that one time lasted for one session because during that game two males in the group constantly harrassed her character sexually and demeaningly...and these two were the two best 'role' players in the group.
Since roleplaying is dominated by males, and since they play it more than females, I think a lot of males end up thinking they are superior to females that play it... and a lot of this is subconscious and they don't realize it, but it happens. This is an extension to our society as a whole, where males are raised to act a certain way and females another way.
Maybe another issue is the fact that male gamers are so used to playing amongst other males and most adventures treat female characters, and female NPC's, as sexual objects and nothing more, then it is assumed (again, probably not consciously but subconsciously) by male gamers that any female gamer that plays will probably play a character that is also like this because its something they are just used to. In a society where everybody wants equality but its hard to get because women are treated as sexual objects, by the media, movies, and general attitudes of how kids are raised into adulthood, then it kind of makes more sense how male gamers are unable to roleplay alongside female gamers the way they should be able to...with some maturity and forethought, which doesn't happen the way it should.
At the end of this one session that I played with, the female gamer that played told us that she won't play again because of the two buttheads that treated her like crap...and in a way I don't blame her. Those two treated her as a male raised in our society would usually end up treating a female in the first place.
As gamers in this hobby where the males vastly outnumber the females that play, we have some questions that I think were have been asking for many years: How to get more female gamers to play, AND keep playing after their first session?
Keep in mind that the majority of games are just males playing with other males (boy that does NOT sound right
). Also keep in mind that we are talking about gamers that are raised within a certain society, where the media has played a big factor in how males and females generally view each other, and that gaming is probably one of the more socially inclined forms of entertainment that the mass public has no knowledge of (with the exception of what the media has brought to them about it, which isn't very positive).I may be wrong in some of what I have said, and others will disagree with me because opionions do vary, and that's cool because this is a discussion and its a good topic that should be addressed. Why do male gamers treat some female gamers like crap while playing the game?
Anybody else have any opinions.
Afrodyte: I'm sorry you went through that experience, but it wasn't near as bad as what the female gamer I played with went through. Her character was treated as nothing more than a sex object by those two guys. They were used to playing games with just males, run by a DM who treated females in the game with no respect (okay, you go to a tavern and see some raunchy tavern wenches taking orders, getting slapped on the butt, and laughing to each other about everything. Off to the back you see one of the local farmers heading upstairs with a attractive looking female.) This was the kind of DM he was, and this is the kind of games they were used to playing, and that is how they treated her character. I felt sorry for her after that.
Talk to your group, ask them if they even realize that they are acting that way. Talk to them before the game starts, not during the game. Talk to the DM and make sure he understands that its happening; its possible that none of them realize it and all they need is a wake up call. Some guys respond to this well, so it doesn't hurt to try. Don't give up on gaming, its a good way to spend time with friends and enjoy creative possibilities.
Good luck with it.
