What should we do with the Seventh Edition?

[Coroc]

7e will also introduce a mechanic for deciding what race you are at the beginning of the day.

In the same supplement races will be added such as:
loyal citizen
Kardashian
Dogon
Dungeon

You just won the thread
That is brilliant on so many levels.

 

[Son of the Serpent]

I know it is possible that a record company could gin up ten million record sales, but I also recognize that it would take a lot of work and resources, for questionable return on the investment.

You know what is also possible, and takes almost no work? Folks on the internet sandbagging the efforts and accomplishments of artists with unsubstantiated conspiracy theories to support some preferred narrative.

And that's about as far as I think this tangent should go.

Lol. You created that tangent buddy. And you are currently making about as much sense as someone who hears someone say "we went to the moon" and then calls them a conspracy theorist. Thats how well known this is. I think you're a little nutty dude. Do you even know how the selection process for those prizes works?

You can have whatever opinion you want. But this one is beyond ridiculous.

 

[Son of the Serpent]

Maybe the "exotic" races will be classes. Get in touch with your inner dragon, elemental, giant, fey, celestial, or fiend. Bring on the 12th level dwarf fire subclass genasi and 5th level half orc gnomes (obviously gnomes will be the fey class).

Player: dm, my character identifies as a moth but also a titan. What do i do?

Dm: KAIJU BATTLE COMMENSE!!!

 

[Son of the Serpent]

Casting will require players to recite actual incantations from memory.

Bards will be required to play a real instrument at the table. D&D starter kits now comes with a branded recorder flute for that reason.

Bard gets optional feat to become blaster caster by mastering the "naughty word flute" style

 

[Undrave]

Due to an unfortunate typo, Fighters get "weapon proficiency: Keeps, Forts and Castles", leading to a popular Fighter build that dual wields small forts to inflict massive damage.

DMs continuously debate wether or not Archer type Followers can be strapped to the towers to add additional attacks.

A similar typo causes Wizards to be able to use daggers as armour, adding +1D4 to their AC. This significantly slows down battles until everyone eventually house rules the bonus roll only occurs when putting the armour on.

 

[CleverNickName]

All Advantage mechanics will be simplified to "every time you roll a die, you may choose to argue for thirty minutes about why you should get to reroll it."