What's the longest running "inside joke" at your table?

['o Skoteinos]

"Just fod it" or "Rent-a-Lich".

Both are references to some way over the top min maxed lich necromancer I once made for a PbP. He couldn't really do anything, but with permanent haste the combo Mordenkainen's Disjunction + Finger of Death (fod) in a single round could end most of the fights (DC's were 46 and 52 respectively).

Now, anytime we need a solution, the first solution is either to "just fod it" or to rent a lich.

Once he would become epic, he would've had the Hand of Death (as fod, but 5 targets) and the Freaky Hand of Death (as fod, but 6 targets).

 

[Numion]

Fireball is called Johnny.

When we were starting 3e someone saw the shopping channel abdomen muscle training device .. Ab-doer, developed by none other than John Abdo. That seemed hilarious, and somebody said "Well guess who invented Fireball? John Firebo!". Maybe we were tired or something, but that was seriously funny then. Everafter fireballs were called johnnies after their developer, John Firebo.

From the same period comes the notorious non-existent Wand of Sleep. In the early sessions one player constantly tried to use or told someone else to use a Wand of Sleep. The habit stuck to the group, and now whenever someone is trying something he really hasn't capability for, someone says "remember to use the Wand of Sleep".

 

[Cyrik Skylark]

"Future History." This started in the first session of our campaign... one of the players was fairly new to role-playing, so occasionally he'd drop an OOC reference IC. This led to our characters asking, "What's that?", to which he quickly responded, "Future history." It's now become our standard retort whenever anyone asks us how we know something we shouldn't.

 

[Arc]

So the DM was dating one of the players, and after giving her a particularly well suited item in the loot, she went up and gave him a hug.

Thus
"Someone just got a +2 on their getting some roll"

 

[Taluron]

In the late-70's/early-80's I was involved in a game at a FLGS (The Sword of the Phosnix in Atlanta). The DM allowed one of the players to be a cleric of Asatoth. He (the character), of course, had a mental illness.

We get into a batlle and the cleric calls out "I'm casting Spiritual Hammer".
DM replies "okay, lemme look it up, I don't know that one real well." [page shuffle, read] "Hey you can't cast that - it's a second-level spell".

"I lied" from the player. Turns of the required mental illness was pathological liar.

Now anytime someone gets called on something he shuoldn't be able to do - "I lied" [remember to drawl the lied out to about a second - I liieed.

 

[Zappo]

There are a bunch of long-running jokes in my group.

Ferrets have to be one, though I'm not completely sure of where it came from. Basically, ferrets are the most lethal creature known to man. They are silent and stealthy. They are ferocious and ruthless. They are too fast to be hit. They can jump at your neck and slit your throat before you can react. Or maybe they'll lurk around and murder you in your sleep. Whenever someone feels like something dreadful is lurking in the next room, he says "There may be a ferret", and everyone quakes. We get funny looks whenever someone happens to mention ferrets in casual conversation and sees us giving scared looks to each other.

Another is "Blaaa". You know, like what the turtle pokemon says. Blaaa can be 1. An expression of boredom or annoyance, or 2. The default voice of any nonsentient creature or random encounter (even if sentient).

 

[FireLance]

"I can take him down in two rounds."

This ill-fated statement was uttered by a minotaur fighter PC to the wizard PC to persuade him to cast a Fly spell on him so that he could battle a flying osyluth devil. So, the minotaur got the spell, flew up to the osyluth, got hit by the stinger, failed his save against poison (this was back in 2e) and dropped like a rock.

This led to the classic rejoinder, "Too bad he took you down in one." and was thereafter immortalized in our gaming group as the ultimate expression of overconfidence.

 

[Dyntheos]

The Pinecone Demonlord..

Party is in the Abyss, DM needs a Demon Lord Miniature, can't find one, so.. Grabs a pine cone that we had stuck a base on to use for wilderness terrain. Tada! instant Faceless and Horrific Visage of a Demon Lord.

Now everytime a wilderness setting is set up on our miniature board and the pine cone is used as a prop, someone inevitably says something like "I bow down to the pine cone", or in combat " I attack the Pine cone Lord".

 

[Felix]

Why don't you just beseech him?
...and...
The handled-halfling shield.
...and...
The barbarian actually drew his sword???

[3.5e] The first one pertains to the efforts of the party bard when negotiating with some really stuck-up elves. His halforc cohort had been arrested and taken away and the human bard was trying to get him back... none of the elves would hear of it, and eventually they got fed up with him bringing up the subject. So he interrupted the queen of the elves and said: "I beseech you, how can I get my companion back? And if you can't tell me, who can I beseech?" The rest of the table cracked up laughing at him because his frustration was so earnest that he didn't know how ridiculous he sounded (you really did, Mark ). Now when PC are trying to get things from NPCs that don't want to give them away, the table encourages the player to, "Beseech him, dude! Beseech him!"

[3e] We had this one guy who, if there were halflings in this world, would be one. Or maybe a kender. So this player was flighty and perhaps too energetic. Well he was having a bad session one day when we stormed the keep that had been invaded by dopplegangers and their minions. The halfling rogue/wizard cast Shield on himself. One of these minions was a cleric, and so began casting a spell. His potential targets were the hulking barbarian/ranger, the shiny paladin, and the diminuitive halfling. The DM had always randomly rolled who was targeted by spells until the PCs gave the NPCs a reason to target them, so he rolled a d6. The halfling's number came up, and he was Held. The halfling's player was pissed, and I can see why... he wasn't a big threat. So then the clerics started shooting at us. I, the barbarian, decided I wasn't going to let the Shield spell go to waste, so I picked the halfling up and held him in front of me as I charged the clerics. Heh heh. For sessions afterwards we were suggesting that the halfling have a handle fitted to his leather armor.

The last one makes fun of my barbarian/ranger who is smarter than the others give him credit for. This means that he won't just charge head first into death unless he has a good reason for it. So we were in this big fight with suped-up mega-orcs when the Paladin goes down. Then the ranger bites it. That leaves me. And I have about 6 hp left... so I do the smart thing and get the hell out of dodge. Rather I retreat to bow range and pelt the orc until he died. Not once did I want to close to melee with those guys, so I had always had my bow out. The next time was us invading a giant wasp hive. We had walked down this entryway covered in wasp-paper when we hear this noise coming from in front of us. So I throw my bottles of oil down the hall, get ready to throw my torch, and tell everyone to fall back. Nobody does. So I wait for everyone to fall back. Nobody does. Meanwhile they're tangling with giant wasps. And I'm yelling for them to fall back so I can burn them all. And they never do. Tsk. So the barbarian was in the back, sword sheathed, for the first few rounds of this killer combat. The group still looks at me in suprise when I say my character "draws his sword." What??? No way! Heh.

 

[Stone Dog]

Back in the very earliest days of my gaming a player rolled a 17 to attack at a pretty dramatic moment. Okay so it was over ten years ago and I can't really remember what the game was aside from that it was Palladium. What? I was in high school for crying out loud I didn't know better!

Anyway. The vampiress rolled better than that to dodge which promted the player to cry out "She rolled better than a 17?! THAT BITCH!!" For some reason to this day a player who rolls a natural 17 is called said explitive. Usually in a conversational tone just as if they sneezed and we offered a "bless you."

Every so often there is a new player who we forgot to brief about this tradition. Hilarity often ensues.