What's the Most Asinine Character Idea/Concept You've Dealt With?


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Wormwood said:
Back in the heady days of 1e: a half-orc assassin ("Slash"), a half-elf thief ("Stash") and a half-ogre barbarian ("Smash").

All brothers, sharing the same mother—a human prostitute.

That must have led to some funny friggin encounters.
 

Dalprin said:
The gnome professor with the selective reality was an interesting concept. I could see why it wouldn't work in a typical game but in the right game that would be cool as hell.

the power behind it was from an artifact obtained near the end of the campaign, and the game was great, with the DM twisting any use of it like he was twisting a wish.

There are other stories of him as a tinkerer, and using up horses and cattle as if they were lab mice on the eternal quest to build a wagon that protected the animals pulling it. Since animals were not actually real, but only a shared belief..... while killing intelligent foes presented real problems for him.
 

Warrior Poet said:
I know, but the insane genius of it is the vampire part and it's . . . wait for it . . .

a baleen whale!

All those poor, doomed krill, damned to an eternity of souless suffering . . . :lol:

Time to break out the rules for Undead Swarms...
 

Most assine I've played is a tie between a Psychic Housecat in an otherwise typical fantasy game and Janitor in a modern action adventure game.

The cat was a pain in the neck because he truly was a cat, and thus couldn't speak or anything. Okay he was a really smart cat with psychic powers, but he'd usually spend all his power points on communicating with the rest of the party.

The janitor was just a plain old working joe with nothing special going on. He had way too many attribute and skill points for the concept, so I bought lots of obscure knowledges. Again for an action adventure game. I didn't really want to play, so I made the guy that would die the quickest, and actually had a blast playing him. Some of the other players loathed me for it. They would have prefered another gun-toting madman.

Most assine I've had presented to me as a DM was for a low level D&D game: a monk that was born before the beginning of time, founded civilizations, and eventually got bored and climbed to the top of the highest mountain and rested for eons, only to climb down and join an adventuring party as a 1st level monk. I should mention that the character had stats in the 40s. At first I thought it was a joke. Then I found out the player was serious.
 

maggot said:
Most assine I've played is a tie between a Psychic Housecat in an otherwise typical fantasy game and Janitor in a modern action adventure game.

The cat was a pain in the neck because he truly was a cat, and thus couldn't speak or anything. Okay he was a really smart cat with psychic powers, but he'd usually spend all his power points on communicating with the rest of the party.

Weird, I've played a psychic cat too. He spent all of HIS time using his suggestion power to get people to pet him, feed him, and then leave him alone. Luckily for the party, he also used this power on the bad guys, so he wasn't all useless. Just mostly useless.

As for characters presented to me as a DM, I've had mono-verbal genius kobolds (only word: QRZL), mute psychic halfling lesbians, and lupinoid rangers with the permanent D.T.'s. The character that got the most mileage was (thus far) a doppleganger-like entity who decided to replace...the ranger's animal companion. He wandered around the Demonweb Pits acting like a big pampered mountain lion while trying to figure out how to double-cross the party. Eventually he decided he didn't want to double-cross them because they rubbed his tummy (but he wound up betraying them anyway, because Lolth threatened to kill him. Wacky tanar'ri.).
 

Wormwood said:
Back in the heady days of 1e: a half-orc assassin ("Slash"), a half-elf thief ("Stash") and a half-ogre barbarian ("Smash").

All brothers, sharing the same mother—a human prostitute.

It was 1e huh? Was she randomly generated from the DMG? :)
 

This thread has really cracked me up. I don't think my story can really compare to some of the others, but it makes me laugh to remember it, so here goes.

Many years ago, when I was in about 6th grade, my gaming group consisted of me (Grant), my brother (Ethan) & our neighbor down the street (Paul). Since we were young, moronic, and a small group, we would all play multiple characters, even the DM. So there were generally about 9 PCs in the group, at one point we had over 15. I remember one time when I was DMing all their PCs died. Mine continued with me as the DM, having taken all their magic items.

Anyway, at one point, my brother started an adventure, and Paul decided to play two characters. He named them Grant Dumbfellow and Ethan Ugnesser.

Perhaps at the time I was vaguely insulted at this boyish humor, but now I look back on it and laugh. I still call my brother Ugnesser sometimes...
 

the power behind it was from an artifact obtained near the end of the campaign, and the game was great, with the DM twisting any use of it like he was twisting a wish.

There are other stories of him as a tinkerer, and using up horses and cattle as if they were lab mice on the eternal quest to build a wagon that protected the animals pulling it. Since animals were not actually real, but only a shared belief..... while killing intelligent foes presented real problems for him.

Sounds like it was a fun campaign. :)

Another asinine character in a game I played in was a cleric inquisitor who went into every combat armed with... wait for it ... a pillow. The player felt he had to prove his stoutness by using such a useless weapon. A mace was seen as cheating and unmanly. Funny thing, the player soon left the game when his cleric got beat up in every combat.

I am guilty of playing a useless character. "Bugh the Gully Dwarf Shaman" in a DragonLance campaign. His holy relic was a broom he found in a closet. Bugh had no cleric spells at all. As a gully dwarf shaman he believed he did, which led to all sort of interesting situations. The other characters were never sure if he had spells or not. Bugh was also a complete coward who would either flee or grovel at every combat. He also could only count to two. Fun character but a pain in the butt for the other players, I'm afraid. :heh:
 

JediSoth said:
Well, y'all have me beat. The worst one I've seen in any of the games I've participated in is someone who made a bard and actually wanted him to become a Mystic Pimp from Mongoose's Encyclopedia Arcane: Nymphology. Fortunately, that DM didn't even allow multiclassing, so no go there.

JediSoth

Sadly, my DM is considering putting that PrC on a gnome swaschbuckler we have in the party who happens to have a fetish for ropes and the elven dragon disciple
 

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