What's the WORST Star Wars movie?

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

My dishonorable mentions are Abrams' gruesome twosome. TFW for being a shameless ripoff - oh, I'm sorry JJ - an homage!. Sorry but it was an uninspired beat-for-beat copy.

At the time, I assumed TFA was meant as a palette cleanser for the prequel trilogy: "Here's all the stuff you liked from the original, remixed, plus the hotshot fighter pilot trope, which the movies never gave us."

And by and large, TFA did it all better.

But "oops, all remixes" is not a game plan for a trilogy and Abrams wanting to do that plus getting mad at TLJ was just a mess.

JJ needed to do collaborative online fiction like so many people did in the 1990s, and would have learned how to gracefully pick up the baton from a prior author who had just gone in a wildly different direction. If fanfic writers can manage it, he should have been able to as well.

 

[Parmandur]

I honestly don't know why they didn't go with Kylo as the villain in the final movie. We finally had a chance to see what it'd look like if a Darth Vader analogue was in charge. Surely it wouldn't be "yeah, the Empire/First Order as usual, here you go."

I cannot imagine pitching "so, first off, the Emperor is back, second there's a fleet larger than has ever been seen in Star Wars just chilling out there somewhere, not being used, as a Plan B for the bad guys."

That was in the script they ditched and rewrote in a panic after the reaction to Last Jedi: Kyle Ren was the final villain, big reveal was that he was connected to Rey because he killed her parents, who were randos.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

I dunno. I feel like that would be an improvement over the qualification being "Be either Skywalker or Palpatine."

I would love the post-RoS order to be run by boring nerds who took Student Government way too seriously in Space High School.

"Sorry, but after the last few decades, we don't want any charismatic folks in charge. We want the people who understand economics, infrastructure, epidemiology and all the rest calling the shots now."

Hell, it'd be fun to have a movie where Force users of all stripes are being hunted down by intelligence agents, just because they keep plunging the galaxy into chaos.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

That was in the script they ditched and rewrote in a panic after the reaction to Last Jedi: Kyle Ren was the final villain, big reveal was that he was connected to Rey because he killed her parents, who were randos.

That doesn't make any of it excusable.

Kylo can still be the villain after The Last Jedi. At that point, he can take the throne if he wants it. Having an impulsive space wizard with impulse control in charge of an empire doesn't suggest he's going to be creating a utopia.

 

[embee]

I would love the post-RoS order to be run by boring nerds who took Student Government way too seriously in Space High School.

"Sorry, but after the last few decades, we don't want any charismatic folks in charge. We want the people who understand economics, infrastructure, epidemiology and all the rest calling the shots now."

Hell, it'd be fun to have a movie where Force users of all stripes are being hunted down by intelligence agents, just because they keep plunging the galaxy into chaos.

Again, be careful what you ask for.

Because Syril Karn checks all of your boxes.

 

[GreyLord]

TLJ is amazing and I won't hear anything else about it. However a weird mixture of terrible people and Gen-X nerds with very fixed ideas about Star Wars (esp. Luke Skywalker) hate it like they hate hell and all Capulets, which makes it extra-funny. I blame the EU novels largely. No-one I've met IRL who hated TLJ wasn't also a heavy reader of the EU novels.

Well...hello there.

Actually, I didn't read the EU novels until after I saw TLJ. As a movie it is technically superior to any of the other Disney era movies. It really is superior if taken ONLY as a movie and not part of a continuing storyline or franchise. At least, as far as it was made. It's actual writing and story....well...

As a movie that makes sense, it is absolutely the WORST movie (of course, that is key for a LOT of RJ's movies), racist to boot (also true to RJ's movies, people like to talk about Knives out...the question for that movie is why the minority is basically ALSO a white individual even if ethnically they fall into a minority group, so many OTHER representations he COULD have used...but no...let's go with the white one instead), and from what I can see, not very into the actual spirit of Star Wars. (The racist part was probably the most offensive to me though, but it's something I think most don't even notice in regards to HOW the movie actually treats minorities and their importance to the plot in their effectiveness or what they accomplish).

It was bad enough in that light that I thought even the EU couldn't be THIS bad. I had scorned the EU for the most part up until then, thinking it was a bunch of poorly written novels. With TLJ I felt nothing in them could be that bad (and for the most part, from what I've heard now, they aren't...key is being on heard). Now, I admit, I couldn't really stand reading them still, so I got them on audio book and listened to them while I traveled. Not the best, but more consistent than TLJ was with the rest of Star Wars and most of them at least make more sense in relation to the whole of what they are compared to.

So, technically I suppose you are right, I've listened to many EU books since TLJ came out. I didn't BEFORE TLJ came out though. It was the nonsense of TLJ (2d chase in space...really? Can't hyperspace past them and do a pincer movement, even in 2d? really? Luke's 3 lessons were actually 2 lessons? Really...Luke can't count and neither can Rey??? He can't even count to 3! Much less 10. Luke dies because he forced too hard? Does this mean I can focus too hard to the point it will kill me as well?? You know those people who die constantly from focusing too hard for an hour or so. College students are dying like flies! Like...that's really a thing???)

It just goes on and on on and on (Cell phone jokes that got dated REALLY quickly and are dated even now are a thing in a totally different universe??? Using said jokes are actually going to work against a military force that we are supposed to think were able to take over the galaxy in a few hours? And we are supposed to think this military force was able to threaten the galaxy when they are stalled by a few yo mama jokes???? Really...what is this...is this how you make the bad guys look efficient and menacing, or how you make the good guys look like they are really...really...really just terrible at doing what they do????...etc...etc...ect).

There are some ridiculous things in Lucas's approved EU books, but normally they don't stretch my limits of imagination the way TLJ did.

 

[Zardnaar]

I dunno. I feel like that would be an improvement over the qualification being "Be either Skywalker or Palpatine."

Well in their universe galactic rulership can be decided by duels.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Well in their universe galactic rulership can be decided by duels.

It can be decided that way in this world, too, but no one thinks it's a great idea.

 

[ART!]

The Special Editions.

Oh yeah - those. I would never think of them as remakes, thus my confusion.

Except for the added gore, I think I prefer the Special Edition of ESB to the original, mostly because I love the added windows in Cloud City.

I can't for the life of me understand why someone would go to the trouble of adding the things that were in the SE of ANH but not fix the things that really needed it, like matte lines around the fighters and the blurry shots of the Death Star's surface when the camera gets too close.

 

[Zardnaar]

Did you skip the original trilogy? Darth Vader is a temperamental baby. But he can murder you with his mind, so everyone but Tarkin treats him like a sane person.

He stopped rifle blasts with his brain.

I feel like Yoda said something like that to someone once upon a time ...

Irrelevant. As we've seen in real life, even an incompetent but ruthless leader can be terrifying. Seeing a man-child space wizard in charge of the new Empire would have been a lot more interesting than what we got in RoS.

This is not Mortal Kombat. Galactic rulership is no

t decided via duels.

Luke was protagonist and got trained and still got pwned bu Vader. Vader was still the main villain in ESB.

Kylo start of TFA was interesting. If tgey kept that up then yes he could gave veen an effective gilkain. They didntbhe got jobbed put to Rey who was untrained.
He was wounded but still if he was thst good he wouldn't have got wounded ir drawn in dark side to shrug it off.

Vader has a temper I don't recall him trashing a turbolift. Vader didn't lose either until the end of RotJ.

Even with what we saw onscreen Kylo could still have been a great character in IX just not a villain. He coukd still be the villain just not very effective.