Which Monster Manual Monstah are you?

Giant Owls live at night, so I could be one, but they have good eyes and feathers, so I'm not one.
Girallon ? No.
Gnolls are lazy, so I could be a gnoll, but they are sadistic, stupid and feral; so I'm not one.
Gnomes are nice folks with a sometimes unsettling sense of humor, so I could be one, but they are small and may cast spells; so I'm not one (sadly, because I like the spell part).
Goblin ? No.
Grick ? That would be somewhat fun, but no.
Grimlock ? Nah, I can't claim to have the tenth of their blindsight.

Gray Render ? We're on something, here. I'm the anti-gray render. They are huge, I'm normal-sized; they are stupid, I'm rather smart and educated; they are incredibly physically strong, I'm, well, not at all; they sometimes decide to follow people, I frequently decide to shun people.
 

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I'd be an enormous yrthak. I'd have a big saddle on my back, and I'd convince the destrachan, delver, gnome, and a few other creatures to climb aboard. Then I'd dive headfirst into an active volcano, thus selflessly sparing the rest of the world our crapitude.
Hooray! :)

I'd miss the gnome, but I'd happily bid the others a pleasant journey to Mount Retcon.

Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up AND THAT'S AN INVITATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up TO MAKE A RESERVATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
The yrthak mystery tour is waiting to take you away,
Waiting to take you away...
 
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I would be a dollop of ochre jelly innocently spread on a slice of whole-grain bread patiently waiting for some victim to take a bite. My lair would be a gourmet deli.
 




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