Why Bodybuilding is bad

[Stormborn]

A gym nearby recently changed its name to "Plane Fitness" which got my wife and I thinking about "Planar Fitness" and how you could market a gym to DnD players.

You could have work out gear that simulated wearing light, medium, or heavy armor, obstacle courses, martial arts and weapons classes, classes on health gaming snacks, Cardio-Larping, and of course to keep people motivated we would have trainers/recruiters. They come in two types, complete with costume: helpless elf maiden and drow priestess. The elf maidens motivate through positive reinforcement "Oh you are doing so well! Can't you do just one more for little old me? >bats eyes<" while the drow priestesses would motivate through negative reinforcement "You worthless pile of flab! How dare you even cast your eyes upon me! If I do not see 10 more reps I will fley your miserable excuse for a body!".

We figure no need to play to the female customer, males are the target audience. We can just offer a 50% discount to females and that should take care of most of our recruiting.

 

[Prince of Happiness]

A gym nearby recently changed its name to "Plane Fitness" which got my wife and I thinking about "Planar Fitness" and how you could market a gym to DnD players.

You could have work out gear that simulated wearing light, medium, or heavy armor, obstacle courses, martial arts and weapons classes, classes on health gaming snacks, Cardio-Larping, and of course to keep people motivated we would have trainers/recruiters. They come in two types, complete with costume: helpless elf maiden and drow priestess. The elf maidens motivate through positive reinforcement "Oh you are doing so well! Can't you do just one more for little old me? >bats eyes<" while the drow priestesses would motivate through negative reinforcement "You worthless pile of flab! How dare you even cast your eyes upon me! If I do not see 10 more reps I will fley your miserable excuse for a body!".

We figure no need to play to the female customer, males are the target audience. We can just offer a 50% discount to females and that should take care of most of our recruiting.

Well, the gym that I work out in has a lot of...um.............faeries. They have obviously put their ability bonuses into Strength though.

 

[Deset Gled]

Many professional bodybuilders are also plagued by hampered range of motion and general dexterity issues due to the large, bulky size of their muscles. I read once that many hard-core body sculptors are unable to comb their own hair because their arm muscles are so bulky they can't reach. This seems like it would be a major issue when dealing with dice or miniatures.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

A gym nearby recently changed its name to "Plane Fitness" which got my wife and I thinking about "Planar Fitness" and how you could market a gym to DnD players.

ALTERED TIME TRAIT! DO A 2-HOUR-WORKOUT IN 10 MINUTES!

LOW GRAVITY FOR BEGINNERS!

classes on health gaming snacks

Would those be base classes or prestige classes?

, Cardio-Larping, and of course to keep people motivated we would have trainers/recruiters.

DMs! Handing out XPs for exercises.

We figure no need to play to the female customer, males are the target audience. We can just offer a 50% discount to females and that should take care of most of our recruiting.

Just get Regdar to to show off his full attack routine and make some grapple check innuendo.

Many professional bodybuilders are also plagued by hampered range of motion and general dexterity issues due to the large, bulky size of their muscles. I read once that many hard-core body sculptors are unable to comb their own hair because their arm muscles are so bulky they can't reach. This seems like it would be a major issue when dealing with dice or miniatures.

Should work just fine.

"You! Roll my d20. And pray that you roll a crit, choir boy!"

 

[Driddle]

The hot chainmail-clad elf gamer chicks love muscle-toned GMs.

 

[Dragonbait]

I don't think that my players would want me to GM oiled up in my undies, even if I were to wear a chainmail bikini to hold my man-boobs.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

I thought this was a thread about problems with golems.

 

[I'm A Banana]

If'n ya ask me, a lot of the D&D stereotypes (e.g.: chubby rolly-polly nerd and scrawny weakling nerd) could use MORE time at the gym....

 

[Boss]

Hey, I was always worknig out as the DM. All through high school, I carried all of my school books as well as my 1st and/or 2nd edition books (depending on what year of school it was) in a single heavy duty gym bag. Almost a duffle bag in size. I would challenge other guys in my classes to pick uo the bag and carry it around for a few minutes.

Of course, I am now carrying another huge duffle bag over one shoulder with all my 3.5 books in it, and my laptop bag with all the extra gear in it on my other shoulder, and all I have gotten for it is chronic back problems.

 

[Prince of Happiness]

Legions of buff D&D players would be a pretty scary prospect for most.

I think this is what gaming in the Marine Corps is like.