Why can't you be prepared for a game session

[Flexor the Mighty!]

My problem in the past was that people just didn't put the effort in to learn the system. 3.x rewards those who take a bit of time and learn how it works best and stuff like that. Learn that this spell counters this, and this feat counters that, etc. Then they would get pissy when I would hammer them in fights with enemies they should be able to defeat. Should I be there telling them what spells to cast and how to fight? I could but what is the point then? We had a big argument over a fight against a summoned evil elemental one night that killed most of the party and they didn't even have a basic clue as to what to do to neutralize it with a protection from Evil spell. And when a player after a year STILL has to look up what stats modify the action he does every single session... *sigh*

 

[billd91]

I am still a little peeved of not getting my day off because of a parent, I may have came off a little harsh cause it touched a nerve with me. At least I got the day off to see Serenity

Well, you did get shafted. But you didn't get shafted by the parent, but by your supervisor. Your supervisor should have kissed your butt to get you to stay during your approved time off and offered to bend over backwards to get you the time off ASAP.

By the way, I'm a father of two young children who has to take time off at short notice from time to time, but I work for a company with flexible hours, am salaried (no overtime anyway), and have plenty of people to cover responsibilities around me. Taking the time off (which comes out of my vacation time) is no trouble for me or the childless people I work with.

 

[adwyn]

I'm married, have a child, work 60 or more hours a week, am active in local and state politics, own or part own three businesses (all with employees), and have other hobbies.

But, procrastination is still the only real reason I'm not ready. Sure there's things going on, but even when I have free time I don't often put it towards the game I'm running. Instead I focus on skeletal plot lines and a long experience with winging it. Its just about knowing your strengths, and prep has never been mine.

 

[Mystery Man]

I have two young children. When I get home from work each day, I play with the family, or run errands with the family. We do the family dinner thing. We do the bath thing. We read books, tuck in, and turn off the lights.

Then the wife and I straighten up around the house, clean the kitchen, etc. By then, we're pretty darn exhausted. We either relax and watch TV, or we go to bed. Often, though, I'll get on the computer and do what I need to do for my D&D game (when I'm the DM).

If it weren't for the children, I'd have sooo much free time during the evenings and weekends. But even with the family stuff, I still have time to have my game stuff ready for Friday evenings when we play. And a DM has 10 times more stuff to do than the players. I create monsters, create locations, paint minis, draw maps, etc. When I'm not DMing, and have just a PC to keep up with, I usually have my character sheet upgraded to the next level within 24 hours of the game session where I earned the level up.

But then when we get together on Friday nights, one of the players sits down then and updates his character sheet for the level gained last session. When everyone puts their minis on the game table, one player mentions how he's been meaning to paint his, but just hasn't gotten around to it yet. One player forgot his character sheet and has to recreate it right then. Then during the game, one player has to look up the turning rules so he can turn the zombies coming down the hall.

Although I've never directly asked this of the [childless] players, I can't help but wonder: What the hell do they do with all their free time?

I have never shown up at a game session without my stuff all ready -- as the DM or as a player. If I want a mini painted, I paint it. If I'm playing a character with X ability, I'll have the rule memorized before ever playing the character in a game.

I have very little time to work on my hobby stuff, and half the little time I do have is "wasted" with either watching TV or playing computer games (or going to bed early). But I have never failed to be fully prepared for a game session.

So I'm asking this general question to all you RPG players here: What eats up your time so much that prevents you from being fully ready at the game table each session? How is it that I, with two young children (that require a ton of attention), can find time to prepare for a game as a DM, but you can't find 5 minutes to update your character sheet, or 10 minutes to read a rule, or 30 minutes to paint a mini (if you want the mini painted), or 5 minutes to ensure you have everything you need for the game session?

[/rant]

Bullgrit

It's like you have a window into my soul...


The last time I asked for character sheet updates a week went by with NO reply. I sent out another email saying that those who didn't have them in my inbox by gameday were going to sit and watch. My players know me, they know I mean it.

It was a miracle! All of a sudden like, within two days they were all there.

 

[Nebulous]

I know exactly how Bullgrit feels too. It's like under- or non-appeciation for all his time and effort as DM. I can't tell you how many campaigns i've worked on, sweated, labored, built models, written reams of notes, etc, etc, only to have players bail, cancel, want to switch campaigns, before I even get a chance to tell the story. It can be depressing. In the end i think a lot of GM's want to feel needed because it's a damn hard job to pull off well.

 

[Dagger75]

Well, you did get shafted. But you didn't get shafted by the parent, but by your supervisor. Your supervisor should have kissed your butt to get you to stay during your approved time off and offered to bend over backwards to get you the time off ASAP.

By the way, I'm a father of two young children who has to take time off at short notice from time to time, but I work for a company with flexible hours, am salaried (no overtime anyway), and have plenty of people to cover responsibilities around me. Taking the time off (which comes out of my vacation time) is no trouble for me or the childless people I work with.

Well we did talk, she on the verge of tears so I gracefully gave up my day off but it was the principle of the thing. I do understand things come up, kids get sick and what not it was just mentality sometimes, "I have kids, you don't you can do x activity anytime you want." Your kids are important, I understand that but I have my own things to do that are just as important to me as your kids are to you. I don't want to turn this into a parent vs no parent discussion, I am sorry if I lead it that way

Anyway....

I too get frustrated when some of friends aren't prepared for the game. I always think what the hell where you doing all week, I mean 30 minutes to level up your character and you couldn't find time between commercials. I spent 2 hours making making a nice chart to graph the ammunation my guy carried in a Shadowrun game and map out his 3 safe houses.

I think sircaren hit the nail on the head.

 

[Odhanan]

Well I have some players at the game table who just don't do any homework. I do it for them. I don't mind especially, but I'd like them to take care of their own characters and memorize the rules sometimes. I'm not bitter about it. That's just my job as a DM to facilitate the life of everyone around the game table, so if the players aren't ready, I am.

Still, it happens to not be ready for various reasons that aren't linked to kids or schedules. Some people just didn't have enough sleep. Others are depressed. Others went to the basketball tournament on Friday night and aren't ready for Saturday's game. Whatever.

What I notice though is numerous gamers complaining about the fact that they don't have any time to *play* role-playing games. They claim it's the job and responsabilities, and sometimes it's true. It's not, more often, and the time factor then becomes an excuse to justify simple choices these (ex)gamers make: they prefer to go to the theater or go to the bar or on hikes rather than play the game on week ends. They make choices. That's not fatality. And nothing's wrong with that, besides justifying choices with lame excuses.

 

[Kid Socrates]

Things come up. It's not as easy as going, "Okay, 7:00-7:20 is character gaming time." These things happen. I'm guilty of it, and I think part of it is GM vs. player thinking.

I run two games a week. I write the sessions during lunch breaks (like this one!) at work. I work on stats and music for the sessions after work. On Mondays before Monday Night Football, I will throw myself whole-hog into it to get it all done. It's a huge amount of work, but very rarely do I need an extra week to get ready.

I took four weeks off from the games a few months back, to make some system changes and also to get my brain back with the rest of my body. One of my players ran a game in that timeframe, and I needed to make a character. It took me until gaming day to do it. I just couldn't or wouldn't focus on it. I love gaming. Gaming is a big part of my life. It's why I'm back gaming and hanging with two friends from high school, my old gaming group.

Nothing against the stand-in DM, he's a great friend and runs great games, but it just wasn't as much of a priority for me as my game was. I think a lot of players are like that. I have one player, out of four, that has written journal entries and action recaps. Another hasn't done anything extra since character creation, but does keep his sheet current. Another player does some extra stuff, but doesn't keep very good track of inventory and stats yet (her first game, so it's more than understood, plus she's huge into the story). Another one doesn't do anything extra at all, and character background's all verbal (where everyone else wrote something). Four completely different types.

You're always prepared and do all that work with kids and limited free time. That's great. I'm being serious -- that's fantastic, and a hallmark of a good GM. Not everyone else does that.

As a player? I'm much more interested in playing, than doing homework on a game. I'm 23! I don't do homework!

As a GM? Glorious, glorious planning! Glee! Christmas came early!

Completely different mindset.

 

[Nebulous]

They make choices. That's not fatality. And nothing's wrong with that, besides justifying choices with lame excuses.

That's what bugs me. If you don't want to play, or can't, just say it up front. Don't offer lame excuses, and for God's sake don't lie about it. I have noticed in general that GM's of any game system are usually more "into" it than players, simply by virtue of having to spend so much time behind-the-scenes. I don't think some players realize that a 4 hour game session could be a prior 10-hour investment from the GM, not including the actual gameplay.

 

[Desdichado]

I dunno. Painting a mini or tweaking a character sheet hardly seem like the kinds of issues that it's worth getting upset over. Supposedly this is a game you play with your friends right?

Chill out, don't stress it. What's the big deal? We almost all have kids, full-time jobs, and in the case of one of us, evening classes for a law degree. Our games are still great, even if we don't show up with fancy painted minis and 100% up-to-date character sheets all the time. Heck, they're amongst the best games I've had in my "career" as a gamer.

For what it's worth, the one guy who doesn't have any kids in our group is probably the busiest; he's a resident surgeon and is on call at all kinds of weird hours. His wife is in the same boat, so the times that they're off together, they want to maximize together as much as possible. There's plenty of things that are more important than gaming to spend your time on.