Why do elves suck?

[Sejs]

Simply put: the attitude.

There are some other issues too, but that's the big one.

If they had a PR manager they'd be fine, but somewhere along the way someone latched onto the idea that having elves come across as snooty, smug pricks was a good idea and sadly it's just kept on going from there.

Get rid of that meme and replace it with something memorable and you'd be well on the way to fixing the elven problem.

 

[Olgar Shiverstone]

because they aren't dwarves.

Yup. You missed "All of the above" in your poll options.

(Actually, in truth, I don't hate elves per se ... I just hate the way aberrant fanbois have turned the fruity little tree-huggers into the uber-l337 by trying to emulate Tolkien. PHB elves are welcome in my campaigns, so long as they remain in their place and recognize the inherent superiority of their betters -- that is to say, dwarves. Retouched as nomadic, fae-touched woodsfolk with a paranoia about civilization & civilized races and favored class: sorcerer and I think they are much better flavored. Though the flavor improves further when marinated in ale, roasted in dragon fire, and doused in ketchup.)

 

[Quel_technoh]

Why do elves suck? Because they'll tell you that they'll cover your back. And they do. With arrows.
Seriously, elves suck because their societies are always on the decline, yet they still feel the need to be blissfully unaware of this fact as they frolic in their forest groves.
(My characters always become pincushions because the 1st level elf archers can't take precise shot. Friends don't let elf warriors cover them with bows.)
And Dwarves are just cooler.

 

[Kurashu]

Well, why do elves suck?

Let's start with why they don't suck...

They....um...err...make good....Spocks?

 

[TwinBahamut]

Elves suck because classic fantasy elves are nowhere near a cool as mythological/folk tale elves. Well, that, and the horrid prevalence of Drow/Dark Elves annoys me to no end.

 

[frankthedm]

Seriously, elves suck because their societies are always on the decline, yet they still feel the need to be blissfully unaware of this fact as they frolic in their forest graves.

Fixed it for ya!

 

[Darklone]

Dwarves suck, gnomes rock!

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

I don't think they do. Many of the reasons people dislike them went away in 3.x. They are no longer perfect

Not if you ask me. 3.5 doesn't remove Elaine Cunningham's portrait of elves, and other things that made them "perfect".

In fact, by the rules, elves are weak sauce. A Con penalty in 3.x where Con is a huge benefit? Drow are similar, but worse (even more uber by flavor, even wimpier by stats).

PS I don't mind tree-hugging, at least with wild elves. However, I insist that wild elves be statistically identical to regular elves. (I don't see many supplements creating different stats for Inuit, after all.)

 

[Gothmog]

Yup. You missed "All of the above" in your poll options.

(Actually, in truth, I don't hate elves per se ... I just hate the way aberrant fanbois have turned the fruity little tree-huggers into the uber-l337 by trying to emulate Tolkien. PHB elves are welcome in my campaigns, so long as they remain in their place and recognize the inherent superiority of their betters -- that is to say, dwarves. Retouched as nomadic, fae-touched woodsfolk with a paranoia about civilization & civilized races and favored class: sorcerer and I think they are much better flavored. Though the flavor improves further when marinated in ale, roasted in dragon fire, and doused in ketchup.)

What Olgar said, exactly. The things I hate most are the smug attitudes of elves even though they are a dying race in most campaigns, and because the fanboys for elves are extremely vocal and tend to be freaky. Elf fanboys tend to strike me as the same kind of people who thought vampires were uber-cool with trenchcoats and katanas, as some kind of urban bloodsucking ninjas. And lets not even touch the 300 lb guy playing a hot elf chick who likes to roleplay out his romantic encounters (and yes, thats pretty common from my experiences).

I tend to make elves a mandatory NPC race in my games, and play up their fey connections- they are fickle, devious, extremely self-involved, have no empathy for others, and have a dark overtone to them. In short, they tend to be narcissistic lunatics, who occasionally turn sociopathic and murderous.

And they suck because they aren't humans or dwarves. Ah, the shame and misery to be born an elf!

 

[Kunimatyu]

My dislike of elves stems from the experiences I've had with elf-centric players.

In my experience, the people who play the Magical Immortal Pretty People almost exclusively tend to have serious self-esteem issues that I don't want anywhere near my campaign or my group of friends.

I have trouble grasping the mentality because I don't see the fun in playing such a wish-fulfillment character - I have more fun getting in the shoes of a flawed character who's different enough from me to be a change of pace.