Why the beer hate? (Forked Thread: What are the no-goes...)

[malkav666]

Drinking and smoking were always allowed in our gaming group. Although over the years cigarette smoking has become a "step outside" thing for anyone wanting to do it, as several of our members gave up that habit over the years. And its not like the smoking repulsed any of us, it was just an issue of mutual respect between friends. So cigarette smoking is outside. But every so often cigar smoking happens at the table (especially on holidays/special occasions).

And drinking has never been disallowed. Some weeks we don't drink, some weeks there is a whole lot of it going on. Our gaming has always been about hanging out with each other first and foremost. If we get a good game going then that is awesome. But some days when we are down folks we will just got to a movie, or geocaching, or some other group activity.

I would refuse any player that tried to get a written contract from me. I game to have fun and relax, I do not need a rigid social environment for that. As I host the games usually (but we do switch it up sometimes and go to another's home, or to the FLGS to play), the only real concern i have is that gamers respect my home, and the folks living there. If they can have a drink without spewing all over my carpet and harrassing the other players, then they are allowed to drink, if not, then no dice for them at my house.

love,

malkav

 

[chriton227]

It's an issue of degree. Opening a beer like one would a coke, that's one thing.

Becoming inedbriated at the table? No thanks.

If I drank beer (or my preferred hard cider) the same way I drink sodas while gaming, my wife would have to carry me to the car.

Our groups don't tend to drink much during gaming, but we all have to drive to the location, and several of us (my wife and I included) just don't drink much at all regardless of where we are. I don't enjoy the taste of alcoholic beverages any more than I do other non-alcoholic beverages, so I don't see the point in spending the additional money on it most of the time.

 

[Desdichado]

In my case it does, generally. In a fantasy game, where water would likely be unsafe to drink, the character will drink ale, and I've had the classic snooty elf that would only touch high class wine or brandy.

That's got to be a myth. Alcohol is a dehydrating agent. You can't subsist on ale.

I once played a smoker, and to be honest, that was actually part of the reason I lost interest in playing the character.

We had a character in a modern Cthulhu game that had had a tracheotomy due to throat cancer, and yet still smoked through the hole in his neck. He also carried around a little oxygen tank.

He was actually a fascinating character. I liked him.

He was probably played somewhat facetiously... his player is a heavy smoker too. Although he's polite enough to smoke outside during breaks.

 

[catsclaw227]

This has basically been said in a few ways already, maybe even by me, but to elaborate... drinking at our games is fine as long as it doesn't become disruptive.

Honestly, for us, the key is the disruptive behavior, whether it's caused by booze or anything else. We've had a few players who are never, ever ready on their turn and regularly bog down the game by trying to debate immaterial minutiae with the DM on other people's turns (this is why they're not ready on their own turn). Anyway, those people have caused far, far more disruption and irritation in our games than anyone ever drinking too much.

This is pretty much my situation too. If some guys want to have couple of beers during the game, I have no problem with that. Smokers would need to go outside to smoke, as one of our previous players did.

The most disruption came from rules lawyers, arguments about mechanics, or from players who were frequently not ready for their turn.

 

[The Ghost]

People have enough problems recognizing that, so I just take one of the potential trouplespots out of it.

Do you deal with those people in other aspects of your life? How do you handle those situations? The people I game with all have familial, professional, and/or social relationships beyond playing D&D. Is that not the case for you?

It is interesting to me as you seem to find the problem with the alcohol and not the person whereas I see the problem being the person and not the alcohol. Am I correct in this assessment?

 

[Kunimatyu]

When I ran a Western game, we would often have a shot of whiskey right as the game began. We were all good friends first and a gaming group second, though.

They still haven't forgiven me for switching the Maker's Mark for Wild Turkey that one time....

 

[Chainsaw]

From my own experiences, I can say it's very real. I'm from Wisconsin, and went to the UW which is in the running for most partying school each year, so I'll say we drink as much as anywhere else in the country. When I've traveled out of the country, I'd match us against just about anyone in the world.

And alcohol has caused serious problems for me when done in conjunction with roleplaying, enough to end three campaigns, and actually end a couple of lifelong friendships! And the thing was: this was all with people who would sit out on our Union Terrace and drink a pitcher or two with no issues whatsoever. That's why I don't want it in my gaming. I've said it before and I'll say it again: drinking is fine, but I have never had it add anything positive to gaming: at bests it's been a push, and normally it has a negative effect.

Beyond that, a number of posters here have obviously had some seriously bad experiences with drinking in their own life, and simply have no desire to be anywhere around it at all. I can't understand why it's so hard for people to simply accept and understand that. There's a lot being said here between the lines that people should just acknowledge and move on.

I don't think anyone is saying "drinking at a game is bad as an objective moral law," but rather it's, "based on my experiences and values, drinking and gaming don't mix for me and I wouldn't play in a game where they mixed." That's a world of difference, and something I think we should all be able to respect.

--Steve

Apologies if I didn't read between the lines well enough. I'm sure plenty of people have bad life experiences with drinking. I really, truly, just wasn't sure how prevalent drinking/gaming bad experiences were. Sounds like they're much more common than I have ever witnessed or heard about. We have had regular rotations of new people in our LFR game for years (weekly, two tables worth of people, someone's always drinking) and I haven't ever really heard of a drinking related problem in the group.

Anyway, if some people don't want to play in games where someone's having a beer, for whatever reason, that's obviously fine (like I said earlier, we're lucky the game pretty much accomodates anything under the sun). I don't look down on them or anything silly like that. I don't think anyone here's saying that they would.

 

[Jack99]

It might be an American vs. European thing...smoking has pretty much become a public taboo here in the U.S. (at least on the coasts).

These tendencies are spreading to us as well, but yeah, we are like 10-20 years behind still.

Weird that. The American temperance movement grew out of British non-conformist faiths. I'm guessing our failed experiment of Prohibition took the wind right out of the sails of British temperance unions.

I am not quite sure that is what happened, but certain boards rules prohibit me from taking this further.

In Scotland it's compulsory. I'm drunk at the moment, and always have been.

Same in Denmark.

I have no problem with smoking for the most part, but it's against my lease, at least in-doors... don't want to get screwed out of my security deposit because of smoke damage.

I fully respect people who does not want you to smoke in your house/appartment. But are there seriously people who would forbid other people from stepping outside and taking a smoke?

Less radical? Yes. More effective? Maybe not. I can respect how for some people they'd rather leave than risk an argument.

I could not respect that. Why on earth would you even assume it became an argument? Seems fatalist and a little bit silly.

 

[Jeff Wilder]

Wouldn't it be less radical to ask him to turn it off and smoke outside?

Less radical? Sure. But that doesn't do me much good. Smokers almost universally underestimate how much smoke and smoke-stink clings to them for at least an hour or two after smoking. I get a scratchy, phlegmy throat just from getting a good whiff of the clinging residue.

Less radical? Yes. More effective? Maybe not. I can respect how for some people they'd rather leave than risk an argument.

Just for the record, this isn't why I leave rather than raise a stink - ha! -- about it. I'm, uh, not averse to confrontation.

This (smoke-stink, as opposed to smoke) is where I draw the line at this particular personal freedom. I don't believe people should have the right to actively smoke around me, but I believe people should have the right to smoke, even if they bring the clinging residue around me. Rather than infringe upon that right, I'll absent myself, without rancor. Basically, I believe people have the right to stink, whether it's of smoke, gamer cheese, urine, or whatever.

BTW, I haven't visited my mother at her apartment -- a pack-and-a-half a day smoker since she was 15, and even after having been put on oxygen -- in 10 years. She no longer smokes around me, but simply being in her smoke-infused apartment for a couple of hours makes me ill and wheezy for a week. Literally a week.

Some might also find it interesting that pot smoke doesn't have this effect on me. I don't like the smoke (even when partaking), but it doesn't make me ill at all.

 

[maddman75]

I would refuse any player that tried to get a written contract from me. I game to have fun and relax, I do not need a rigid social environment for that. As I host the games usually (but we do switch it up sometimes and go to another's home, or to the FLGS to play), the only real concern i have is that gamers respect my home, and the folks living there. If they can have a drink without spewing all over my carpet and harrassing the other players, then they are allowed to drink, if not, then no dice for them at my house.

Agreed. Any kind of contract/agreement would be met with disbelief and laughter. How about we hang out awhile, and you just use your judgement about if you think we can game together. Works pretty well for me.

To me its inappropriate for a guest to try and control what goes on in their host's house. That is, if I'm playing at your house and you tell me 'we don't have any alcohol in our house', then of course I wouldn't try to bring any over. However, if we're gaming at my house, you have no right to try and tell me not to have a beer. If you quit over something so insignifigant and you want to judge and control me to that extent, well I'm probably not going to miss you.

I can't imagine joining a game and then trying to tell someone what will go on in their own house.