Wife's first game...

[Desdichado]

A few weeks ago there was a thread, which I think has disappeared into the bowels of the message board (who knows how many pages back by now!) about getting your wife to play for the first time. My wife just played for the very first time this last Saturday. Thought somebody, at least, might be interested in how it all went!

Anyway, my wife wasn't ever exactly an "anti-gamer," but she was convinced that she'd never enjoy playing. She likes to play games, don't get me wrong, but RPGs seemed too complicated and just not her thing. She complained all week going up to this that she felt pressured into doing it (even though I hadn't really pressured her; I just made sure she followed through on her commitment to play! ) So I didn't have a lot of hope that she'd really enjoy it. She didn't really want to figure much of anything out ahead of time, so I made an extra copy of her character sheet, and told her that if she wanted to do anything, she could just tell me and I'd tell her what to roll and what to add to it. I was DMing.

Anyway, I probably did everything wrong. After a little while it became obvious that she was a bit frustrated that she didn't understand the system and wanted to know more about it. But she had a lot of fun, it appeared. When she wasn't doing anything in game, or talking to our friends, she was browsing through the PHB at spells (she was a cleric.) She especially liked her pistol (we were using the Freeport firearms rules, and she had a Privateer FP) and she thought casting spells was lots of fun. I had simplified the cleric for her, letting her not worry about preparing spells ahead of time and casting all spells spontaneously.

I probably did almost everything wrong that I could have, she did complain afterwards that she wished I had helped her during the game more to figure out how things worked. But she had a lot more fun than either of us expected, and she was already wondering about what we're going to do next week. She also showed a lot of role-playing potential: we were kinda playing a thrown-together one-offish sort of game, and the first thing she asked was "why are we all together here again? What if I don't want to do what everyone else does?"

So anyway, with any luck, I'll sit down with her this week sometime and explain the mechanics a little better. Because we're really getting on with this group -- which contains a lot of newbies, but the entire group is friends of ours from church, we're talking about abandoning the one-offish campaign we're in now for something more designed for the long-term. And it looks like, just maybe, we've made one more convert to the fold!

 

[Psion]

Yeah, that was my thread. My wife has played two games now. She really grasped a lot of things really quickly. In the group, she gained a quick reputation for doing a good job drawing on the battlemat and for being taking a hard line on the table chat. But she gets along with everyone, so everything is working out well so far.

I am running the group though NeMoren's vault, though I pulled a few punches when they encountered the umber-hulk-looking thingy. Most of the party made second level, and they should be finishing up this week.

 

[Wicht]

Congragulations Joshua.

Reading your account it struck me that when my wife played for the first time last year, I went through almost the exact same things - complaints, followed by enjoyment, followed by anticipation of the next session.

With newbies, I find that if I, as a DM, begin by giving them suggestions about how they can use their abilities to their best advantage, they soon pick up on the system and need fewer suggestions. So don't be afraid to help her a bit if she complains about that.

I also firmly believe that with newer players, the faster they can level from first to second level, the better the chances are of keeping them in the game (after the first advancement its not as important, but that first level up is a great hook).

 

[Psion]

I also firmly believe that with newer players, the faster they can level from first to second level, the better the chances are of keeping them in the game (after the first advancement its not as important, but that first level up is a great hook).

Actually, my wife seems to be impatient for third level... when her character will get new spells.

 

[Wicht]

Actually, my wife seems to be impatient for third level... when her character will get new spells.

I didn't say the other advancements weren't important

Just that the first one is the most important

 

[mmadsen]

A few weeks ago there was a thread, which I think has disappeared into the bowels of the message board (who knows how many pages back by now!) about getting your wife to play for the first time.

Voila: Update -- My wife min/maxed her first character!

 

[Desdichado]

Yeah, we spent a lot of time during combat's explaining what some of her options were. She actually really liked that: she liked casting the spells (although she really had too many choices) and she liked tossing off shots with her pistol. As a fighter1/cleric3 she was actually about as good as almost anyone else at melee too, but she didn't really attempt that much.

I also threw a largish group of 3HD undead at the group, and she had lots of fun blowing through all her turn attempts for the day. She ended up turning about half of them in two attempts (and failing her other two attempts). So I think some of the gee-whiz clerical stuff was fun for her. We thought long-term maybe she'd want a fighter or rogue that was simpler to run until she really got a handle on the system, but I don't know if that's really what she wants or not.

 

[Desdichado]

BTW, the story hour in my sig file is our campaign log. Check it out! Soon to be updated!

 

[Quickbeam]

Hey Josh, how goes life in the Plymouth/Canton area?

I'm very glad you posted this thread on a personal level. My wife has occasionally mulled over the idea of playing, but seems a bit unsure of her ability to wrap her mind (and heart) around the system. Seeing a post from someone close to home, who also has a few kids, may make the difference.

I have no intention of ever pressuring her into playing D&D, and if she started, my playing schedule would have to adjust...or we'd have to hire babysitters. But I'd love to see her give the game a shot for one or two sessions, just to satisfy a very obvious curiousity. I'm glad things went well for you and the missus -- best of luck with future sessions!!

 

[Wicht]

Kids are definately a consideration when getting the spouse to play (we have four all 6 or under and the other family has 1 girl that age). At times my wife's playing is severely hampered by the need to take care of the tykes midgame. The last two weeks however have gone very smoothly as I have had the foresight to visit the video rental store and purchase several tapes of an age appropriate category. And then I pop the kids popcorn. This has seemed to work (at least until bedtime). Last week they watched, as one of two films, The Last Unicorn and the week before it was The Dark Crystal. Tonights game will feature Dinotopia (just bought today at Walmart) for the kids. Its 240 minutes long and features dinosaurs - I figure it should work.