Women Gamers vs. PCs/DMs Significant Others

[velm]

In my gaming time, I have only known really two women who played, and a possible third. Of them, they were all SO.
The first is the 'possible' one. only met her and her boyfriend once. A friend in high school introduced me to them. We actually played Magic there. It was during that Magic game that I learned they also played DND. Then about a week later I heard he got arrested for breaking and entering or something like that and didnt treat her good or something, it is kinda fuzzy, it has been many years since then. Me and Dave always thought it was ashame that he was such an idiot.
The second one is my sister, she got in a few games because he husband plays, i play also, but only a few him, but I think she never really got into it. She only did a few games. So, she lets him go out with his regular group.
The last one, and most recent was only a last year maybe. A friend of mine had been in some games on his ship and when they came back, he introduced a few of us together. He brought his SO along once, so I think she was introduced that way. But I get the feeling she enjoyed it alot. The really interesting thing is the Guy reminded of 'Dave' from "Knights of the Dinner Table" to a 'T'. I mean, I was seeing Dave in person, and his SO, even though she was new to gaming, just reminded so much of the Sarah character. She was being thoughtful in her approach, getting into a begining character. Something the rest of the male group was severly lacking, but it is all for fun.

 

[Laurel]

What about if you're both....

I actually fall into both groups. Gamer of my own interest and SO.
The actual initial desire to play D&D came from way back. I read lots of SciFi/Fantasy, loved just about any dopey show or movie in the genre and was to watch it at least once. I am not good, but the whole RP idea intrigued me. In middle school I had some friends with those similar interests, but it seemed no one acceptable was around to teach us this new game of D&D. I say 'acceptable' because in all honesty in middle school I was one of those twerpy preppy kids that annoy and bother me today.

By the time I reached High School, I had a become close friends with some people who played, though all had been playing for years... and to say the least I was intmidated. So though I secretly wanted to, my fear apparently ruled me and I just kept brushing it off.

Then early college years I met my current hubby, and to my great joy he had dabbled in some D&D. I saw this a sign from those at WoTC that they wanted my money, and knwoing he would eventually play again knew I needed to learn. I didn't want him to find a group and run off for whole days, so we chatted for many a month about it. He had run a few games, played in some, but never for more then a few sessions. He ended up chatting a mutual friend, but again with them having played so much before I was worried of being too out of thier league and end up slowing the game down or just annoying them with thousands of questions.

Both seemed really excited when I mentioned that I had been interest, my fears and worries and such. Together we worked out a small group, and to help relieve my worries we played a new setting with a novice DM. Turned out that was a bad call, with too many new parts, but it got me interested. So we tried again, and now I am true and well hooked with the new hobby.
So it started as an interest, but took me wanting to understand and know all about my future hubby's interests that really pushed me to play.

Okay long speech over

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

Thanks you very much for being so honest and open with us in making this disclosure.

I don't think I realized it until I was typing it... I love the game, now... and that's what most important, I think.


Everyone's input has been really enlightening... thanks so much for sharing your stories!

 

[barsoomcore]

In my high school group, none of the female players dated each other.

Don't know about anyone else, but this doesn't sound so strange.

Now if you were to say, "In my current neighborhood..." that WOULD sound strange. But such is Vancouver's West End.

 

[Kanegrundar]

I haven't gamed with too many women in my time. I think this is mostly because in my home town, there are only a handful of people that play anything beyond video and classic card games. (Needless to say, I game currently or have gamed with most of them, and they were all guys.) However, I have found out about a gamer girl in the area that I didn't know of, but haven't met her in person yet.

My current group has a woman player, a SO of one of my friends that plays in the game as well, and I think she first got into the hobby because of her husband. My girlfriend isn't a gamer, but I'm trying to get her warmed up to the idea with fantasy boardgames like Talisman, Runebound, Betrayal at House on the Hill, and Warhammer Quest before I even consider talking into playing D&D (or any other D20 game) with us. She's more of a computer gamer (she's addicted to Sacred and Sims 2 right now), but I think she'd like D&D if she'd give it a shot. When game nights roll around, she either stays home or tucks a couple DVD's under her arm to watch while we play. She has been watching the game and asking questions more and more however....

Kane

 

[jmucchiello]

I introduced my wife to gaming. She only came to be with me. Eventually she decided we were a little too hack/slash for her tastes (her words). So she stopped going to my regular game.

My lost game (in theory we'll play again) is composed of 3 married couples, myself and a woman still in college. The college-age woman heard about the game from someone involved and asked to join having never played any RPGs before. This is an ancient 1st ed game that would not die (or convert). The DM got her a PH off ebay and she started at 1st level in a 8-10th level party.

Among the married players, one couple I think plays because the wife is into it more. One couple enjoys gaming equally. And the DM's wife is just along to be social.

Another friend is starting a game and there is a woman player. But that game fits a different profile than this thread as at least half the participants including the woman are gay. I wonder though how the DM's SO thing works with 2 guys. Not that I want to hijack this thread....

 

[Mark Chance]

My gaming group has avoided all potential problems revolving around wives, girlfriends, others of significance, et cetera, by simply deciding that the group is a He-Man Woman-Haters Club. Females aren't allowed.

 

[Teflon Billy]

My gaming group has avoided all potential problems revolving around wives, girlfriends, others of significance, et cetera, by simply deciding that the group is a He-Man Woman-Haters Club. Females aren't allowed.

We had that for our old Champions game. It was a hoot

We often hit the Strip Bar on the way home.

 

[cignus_pfaccari]

The group I'm in now has one female, who joined up way back before she started dating the players (only two that I know of, though). She and her husband are semi-regular; they usually come, but they sometimes don't show for one reason or another.

I haven't actually played long-term with any other women, which is probably unusual.

Brad

 

[fusangite]

Another friend is starting a game and there is a woman player. But that game fits a different profile than this thread as at least half the participants including the woman are gay. I wonder though how the DM's SO thing works with 2 guys. Not that I want to hijack this thread....

Although in the last gaming group I ran out west had just shy of a majority (3/7) of gay players, I've never GMed a gay couple before. However, starting January I'll be doing that in my new campaign. But I don't expect that there will be anything really distinctive about the experience -- I have never found a player's sexual orientation really affects the social dynamic. As identity categories go, I can't really think of any other than gender that really seems to affect a game's social dynamic.