Women Gamers vs. PCs/DMs Significant Others

[Teflon Billy]

Feh...double post.

Of what was SUPPOSED TO BE A PM!

 

[barsoomcore]

Don't worry, TB, we love you for your good looks, not your brain.

 

[Cannibal_Kender]

Well, I'm a female gamer whose been playing for about ten years now. My cousin moved in with my family for a year ten years ago. I saw his 1st edition books and got on his case till he agreed to teach me the game, and DM for me and my sister. She eventually dropped out (after her character was killed by a goblin), but I found a few guys to game with, and we've been playing ever since. As of right now, I am in two campiagns, one Arcana Unearthed, and the other D&D 2nd edition.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Don't worry, TB, we love you for your good looks, not your brain.

Whew!

At least I will always have that

 

[Caius]

I must have been about 12 or so when I first started gaming. the person who taught me was my babysitter's brother who was a few years older. I was sort of into fantasy and my babysitter suggested it actually as something to do. I moved but her brother continued to come over for games, he eventually became my boyfriend and still is to this day. so I definatly didn't get into gaming for a guy, it just sort of came about as I've read from other posts.

but I've know players who brought their girlfriends to the games in "attempts" to learn but they wouldn't and just generally caused problems from complaining to their bf's about lack of attention, or they were bored. I don't understand why the girl would want to go in the first place if she wasn't going to do anything especially after she already went through it once.

there was one girl who came to just keep an eye on her boyfriend as there was some in character flirting between my PC and his. (we never spoke to each other outside the game, he went to a different school and I was like 4 years older than he was) plus she did seem overly clingy to him.

Has this happened to any other groups? maybe it was a unique situation.

but eventually the group let those two players go, because they were dragging their gf's and because they only made one game about everytwo months when we play every other weekend.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

Although Naturally QD will have to confirm, I believe from reading some of her older posts that she's a fair bit younger than "our generation" of 30-35 year old gamers who started in the late 70s or early 80s. I suspect that the social environment for gaming is quite a bit different now, for people the same age as we were when we started, or even a fair bit older, like early to mid 20s. I recall having a co-worker tell me two or three years ago that it was quite the rage in his son's junior high again.

Indeed, I am a ripe 20 years of age.... when I was introduced to the game, I was a sophomore in high school and it was a, where I was from, a hobby associated with young high schoolers and middle schoolers. In fact, I met a guy the other day in one of my college courses that said, "I can't believe you still play that game! I thought for sure everyone quit playing once they hit high school!"

The gender gap was *huge* - or at least it seemed that way - when I was introduced to the game where I was.

(And, I know from my middle-school aged brother that D&D is really all the rage in junior high--at least it is in South Dakota).

 

[barsoomcore]

At least I will always have that

My wife's grandmother (possibly the vainest, crankiest, most ill-tempered woman I've ever met. I like her a lot) told her once: "Brains, character, all that stuff can change. But a good bone structure lasts forever."

 

[Teflon Billy]

My wife's grandmother (possibly the vainest, crankiest, most ill-tempered woman I've ever met. I like her a lot) told her once: "Brains, character, all that stuff can change. But a good bone structure lasts forever."

Ahhh! She understands that beauty--despite what we've been told--is far from being only "Skin Deep"

 

[EricNoah]

Cool, I spawned a thread!

Gotta comment about this:

IMO, it's healthy and important for a couple to maintain a certain degree of separateness from each other.

Agreed -- but I would add that when my wife took the time to get to know me *as a gamer* (by watching games and participating in an annual game with another couple), I appreciated that to the depths of my soul. She got to see me at my best, in some sense -- and it helps her understand how important this hobby is to me. So ... joining the hobby full time? Not necessary. But doing it once in a while to some extent? Very necessary.

 

[William Ronald]

I am one of the gamers on the board who started out in the early 1980s. In my high school group, none of the female players dated each other. In fact, one young woman who was part of our group was the sister of the DM. One of her female cousins would play occassionally.

Later, some guys brought their girlfriends into the game briefly but we still had some female players who were not dating anyone.

Much later, the DM brought a girlfriend into the group who ultimately proved disruptive. Her character decided to start a war against the other PCs' nations. At the time, one of the other players dated one of her friends. That young woman joined the group because of a friend, not a love interest. Similarly, a female friend of several of the players, joined the group.

Currently, I am not in a gaming group. However, I did attend an RPGA convention this past weekend and saw more female players and younger players than I did some 10 or 20 years ago. I think that gaming is losing some of its social stigma, and may be growing.

As a player and a DM, my guiding rule is that everyone at the gaming table matters and deserves respect. So, I think the key thing to remember about women at the gaming table is to treat them with the respect that you ask for yourselves.