word play game

[Warrior Poet]

Cone of Scold - target must make a Ref. save or suffer the withering effects of a severe reprimand by the target's mother.

Clone of Cold - exactly like the Cone of Cold spell.

Scone of Cold - rations could use a few minutes in the microwave.

Intense of Meditation - quadruples all bonuses from Incense of Meditation, but leaves the PC temporarily exhausted.

Leather Fall - prevents falling damage by conjuring a giant suede pillow beneath the caster to minimize impact.

Light Lace - weapon often wielded by particularly seductive succubi.

Wondering Monster - random inquisitive dungeon encounter.

Awl's Wisdom - temporarily gain the sharp insight of a leather-piercing tool.

Wall of Mice - mostly ineffective except in defending against dire elephants.

Lumber Hulk - large, tough, cunning, dangerous. Slow. Made of wood.

Shutter - invocation blocks one window per level of the caster.

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

Sejs and Anti-Sean, those are excellent! Gray renter and mice storm!

 

[Warrior Poet]

I actually think that's kind of cool.

Thanks. I bet with a saving throw and a g.p. value it might be cool to introduce to a game. Maybe as part of the treasure of some Chaotic wizard or something!

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

atom crash, great thread! Most fun I've had in a thread in quite a while (between this and the assinine characters thread!). Thanks!

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

Gotta go, but I'll try and come back this weekend. I love this thread!

Warrior Poet

 

[atom crash]

Ghost Touché - French weaponry capable of damaging incorporeal creatures.

Stuff of the Magi - odds and ends that radiate strong magic and generally clutter up a room or area when used in a retributive strike.

These are my favorites so far. Funny stuff, guys.

 

[babomb]

Paladdin - a paladin with a ring of three wishes.
Davine spellcaster - a druid
Clerk - Just because they worship you doesn't mean they like you [bends the rules a little, I know]
Brad - a class that uses nails to deadly effect.
Pitt Fiend - an evil actor. Probably has levels in Brad.
Dwharf - dwarven piers
Sense Locomotive - Ability to detect trains. [breaks the rules]
Sense Votive - an essential skill for gods
Heel - a class skill for dogs
Augmint Summoning - Summoned creatures gain minty fresh breath
Doge - Gain the office of chief magistrate
Improved Unarmed Stride - +10 to speed when unarmed
Book of Ron Might - A list of things Ron might do
Ron Will - Change one thing Ron might do to something he WILL do
Readership - Attract an editor and readers
Precise Shoe - No penalty for kicking into melee
Shocking Rasp - Grating voice causes 1d6/level sonic damage (max 5d6)
Enbarge Person - Humanoid creature turns into a barge
Darkvisio - an evil drawing spell
Arcane Sigh - causes weariness to subjects within 30 feet
Rind Wall - Create a wall of oranges
Permanancy - Gives someone named Nancy a new hairdo
Persistent Mage - A wizard hassles a target for 1 hour/level
Molar Ray - Detect cavities in a target
Summon Nature's Alley - creates a narrow path through the forest
Mail of the Banshee - Create a letter that emits a deadly scream
Well Hound - "What's that, Lassie? Little Timmy's stuck in the well?"
Gray Bender - "Bite my shiny metal a--"
Read Dragon - His horde consists mainly of books
Kodak - A strange gray humanoid who likes to take pictures
Basilick - A reptilian monster that petrifies creatures by licking them
Solaar - A rapping celestial
Bill Giant - A really big bill collector
Stoned Giant - A giant with giant munchies
Githyankee - A little-known third Gith race who moved to the US [bends the rules a little]
Pigasus - When pigs fly
Hocker Lizard - This lizard steals your stuff and pawns it.
Zombee - Undead bee

 

[Hairfoot]

5' strep: dire bacteria

Sword & broad: the fine art of fighting while carrying a rescued maiden over one shoulder

Coup de graze: ha! made you flinch!

Paving throw: outdoor gaming with granite dice

 

[Quickbeam]

Haltling: A race of small humanoids prone to frequent stopping and unexplainable. Needless to say, their armies don't cover much ground on foot which in turn keeps their countries rather petite.

Uber Hulk: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Notion of Healing: This powerful ability allows divine casters to cure wounds with merely a thought.

Finger of Depth: Allows a mage to gauge the depth of any body of water or liquid by simply dipping his/her finger into its midst. Alternate use: By making a ranged touch attack, a mage may bestow deep thoughts onto unwilling creatures.

Blondness: Target creatures failing their Will Save become permanently blond and are subject to all of the corresponding traits depicted in every bad blond joke ever told. One positive side effect is that they do in fact have more fun.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Neutralize Poisson: This spell makes any fish completely useless.

Elvis- the common language of South-Eastern Elves...and their Cooshie hound dawgs.

Drew- another elf subspecies...but details are sketchy.

Winotaur- creature with the body of a man and a head of foam.

Rouge - guy who breaks into houses and makes people blush.

Bart - PC class of irrepressible pranksters.

Droll - regenerating monster with a penchant for dry wit- difficult to get rid of.

Bigby's Crushing Ham- spell produces an incredibly large roast ham.