Worst Boxed Text EVER.

[Xyanthon]

Aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg!!! This is too funny I just read the Forest Oracle thread followed up by this one and I can't stop giggling. I know when I was younger, I made my own homebrew modules that were probably as bad as this.

 

[JoeyD473]

that doesent sound that bad too me. Kindof gothic. ooo ravenloft.

man im such a sap for the over dramatic.

Ravenloft is the best

and I hate most boxed texts, exc ept teh ones in adventures designed for lvl 1 characters. FOr some reasom those are normally pretty good. Probably to make life easier on the new DMs

 

[ssampier]

You attack the darkness. Roll for initiative.

...

 

[fafhrd]

A real quality product...

Its killing function is a product of extreme energy.

 

[B9anders]

How about this kind of nonsense -

hahaha! Players should be fleeced by meticulous traders more often.

 

[Kormydigar]

Here goes:


Upon opening the massive wooden door, you see the 60' x 60' room beyond. The walls and ceiling are unadorned stone, typical of the sort found throughout this complex. The floor is covered by 10' x 10' multicolored panels, alternating between red, green, orange, and blue. In the center of the room there is a huge mountain of coins, at least 947,231 cp, 88,321 sp, 43,777 gp, and 12,341 pp. Sitting atop this mountain of wealth is what appears to be a giant sphynx. As you approach the center of the room the sphynx bellows loudly, " Who dares enter here must answer my riddle or face certain death!!!" After unsuccessfully trying to answer the riddle, the sphynx charges toward your group, savagely biting and clawing!

 

[hbarsquared]

I love exclamation marks!

Personally, this always got to me.

I loved the original WotC "Adventure Path" (Sunless Citadel, et al.) but this was the thing that bothered me most when I started The Forge of Fury. Every other sentence in the boxed text had an exclamation mark!

!

 

[Scribble]

I loved the original WotC "Adventure Path" (Sunless Citadel, et al.) but this was the thing that bothered me most when I started The Forge of Fury. Every other sentence in the boxed text had an exclamation mark!

!

Perhaps the author was just a very excited person!

I mean what's wrong with that!?!

YAY!

We are all happy now!

 

[Numion]

Yes! I once had a DM who did the exact same thing! Unfortunately, I picked up his bad habit. I'm getting better at it, though.

The idea is that the players aren't going to listen to the description of the room after they hear the magic words "Ogre" "Troll" or "Dragon". The DM, however, must describe verbally over several sentences what the characters would see in an instant. The picture isn't complete if the first thing out is the Ogre, because that'll be the last thing the players register.

 

[Halivar]

"The dungeon room is 20 by 20 feet, with a young elf maiden chained to the wall. She has a forlorn look, as if she has recently said good-bye to her only true love as she embarked on a train to Peoria. His name was Robbie, a carpenter from a cattle-ranch in Oklahoma. Times were tough, back then, during the depression. Herbert Hoover worked hard to fix things, but you couldn't say that to a resident of any of the 'Hooverville's' that sprung up around California at the time. No, sirree, Bob. A tear falls from your eye as you sadly ponder the socio-economic ramifications of the Great Depression and its effects on young elven maidens.

There are also five orcs in the room. Roll initiative."