Worst DM Quotes at Gencon

[haiiro]

At a GenCon a few years back I heard one of my all-time favorites. The setup: we're playing Call of Cthulhu, and fighting some sort of undead in a large house. One of the investigators blasts a zombie -- who was currently standing at the top of the stairs -- with his shotgun. When asked why the zombie didn't get knocked back down the stairs, the GM replied:

"Blowback is a myth."



He was a pretty lousy GM all around, but this one really took the cake for us -- particularly as it came towards the end of a poorly-run session. This line comes up anytime someone mentions bad GMing, and it's been a running joke for years.

 

[CarlZog]

DM: "Ok, I'm just going to skip ahead here."

DM (on arriving at the table, yawning): "I'm beat."

I had a couple really messed up games. It was particularly disappointing because they were both games I hadn't played before and was eager to try out: Swashbuckling Adventures and Spycraft. AEG's games seemed really disorganized.

 

[Viktyr Gehrig]

At a GenCon a few years back I heard one of my all-time favorites. The setup: we're playing Call of Cthulhu, and fighting some sort of undead in a large house. One of the investigators blasts a zombie -- who was currently standing at the top of the stairs -- with his shotgun. When asked why the zombie didn't get knocked back down the stairs, the GM replied:

"Blowback is a myth."



He was a pretty lousy GM all around, but this one really took the cake for us -- particularly as it came towards the end of a poorly-run session. This line comes up anytime someone mentions bad GMing, and it's been a running joke for years.

Well, it is a myth. If the projectiles had enough force to knock the target ten feet backwards, Newton's laws would mean that the gun would knock you ten feet backwards every time you fired it.

"Stopping power" from a firearm relates to the trauma it generates, which causes the target to collapse. Since zombies aren't living creatures, it makes sense that instead of knocking them down the stairs, it'd just knock chunks off. That's why they're so tough.

Of course, if you prefer cinematic firearms in your games, it's fine for shotguns to blowback, and probably desirable-- but Call of Cthulhu really isn't set up for that style of play.

 

[KenM]

Not a DM quote, but at a con many years back. In the adventure we ran in, the writer of it said there was no way to avoid this major combat at the end. The DM that ran it for us let us improvise and we were able to avoid that enconter. We were the only group that finished the adventure on time. Every other group got caught in that combat.

 

[KenM]

"Blowback is a myth."

I have a friend with some guns that could change his mind.

 

[Olgar Shiverstone]

Every time, just when I think I might actually do something with my RPGA membership (I've been eyeing the Green Regent Campaign for about a week, considering trying that when it starts up around here), one of these threads pops up to make me think I'm better off sticking to my home game ...

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

"If you guys keep killing all my monsters, I'm going to be mad."-The sad thing was, he was serious.

"I don't like the normal THAC0 system, we're going to use mine. The regular one makes it too easy for the PC's to hit the monsters."-Another one.

"You guys had too easy of a time with the adventure because of your team work, so I'm reducing your award."-WHAT?

"You guys need to stop using so much teamwork."-Talk about a whiner.

"I've won Best DM award 3 years running at this Con, so you guys better act right."-What, are you my dad now?

And the dumbest thing EVER said by myself when DMing...
"You hear Karl the Baker chuckle from the shadows as he moves slowly.... D'OH!"-I was running a Ravenloft Game at a convention at Evergreen Convention, a 3 day straight game involving a twisted murder mystery that was MA only. I'd just blown who really committed the murders. Thankfully, the players were excellent, and we worked it out. Still....

 

[Sidereal Knight]

Re: Re: Worst DM Quotes at Gencon

It's Call of Cthulhu. We're in a cave, and four of us walk down a passage. The Keeper picks up our figs, carries them across the room, and says we're hopelessly lost. Mind you, he never said there was an intersection and never gave us a choice about which turn to make. Just, "You're hopelessly lost"

I think I was in that game... At one point, when I rolled very badly on a Spot Hidden check, the GM said:

"Thank you so much for waisting part of my life to witness that roll."

That kind of thing makes a player feel unloved

 

[Particle_Man]

And the dumbest thing EVER said by myself when DMing...
"You hear Karl the Baker chuckle from the shadows as he moves slowly.... D'OH!"-I was running a Ravenloft Game at a convention at Evergreen Convention, a 3 day straight game involving a twisted murder mystery that was MA only. I'd just blown who really committed the murders.

lol!

I think I will go and give my DM a hug.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Man, I hardly know where to begin. My Convention RPG experiences have nearly all been negative.

• "Everyone move your chairs into a 2X3 arrangement, so you can roleplay being in the hover car" (we went from point A to point B, then moved our chairs back around the table)....(Living force)
• Me: "You said they were attacking us with short swords, so I will take them from the orcs corpses".
  DM: "Well I guess they vanished or something, cause it says here they don't have anything. Wait I know; they broke. They're broken and no good. There" ...(Living Greyhawk)
• "A bunch of scary crap happens , and you guys are, like , totally freaked out. Make a sanity check"...(Call of Cthulu)
• "Superman breaks your arms, then gouges out your eyes"...(Champions)

I'm going to stop there casue I'm getting pissed