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General Worst phrasing for a wish?


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Blue

Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
"I wish I had more money than I could spend in the rest of my life."
A copper piece and a very short life.

Honorary mention from an old What's New with Phil and Dixie comic from Dragon Magazine.
<scene: forest hopping with antlered deer. foreground: an ex adventurer>
"I used to be a rogue until I wished for a million bucks."
 


CleverNickName

Limit Break Dancing
Player, smugly: "I wish to permanently and completely acquire the petrifying gaze attack of a medusa, while fully retaining all of my own abilities, wealth, and relationships."

DM, unimpressed: "You feel an itch on your shoulder, and you see that you've grown a medusa's head right next to your own. It's facing you. Roll to save."
 

Morrus

Well, that was fun
Staff member
“I wish to live forever.“

Which you’ll regret as you float around in space alone for eternity after the heat death of the universe and even the black holes have evaporated.
 


Blue

Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
“I wish to live forever.“

Which you’ll regret as you float around in space alone for eternity after the heat death of the universe and even the black holes have evaporated.
Isn't there some Ancient Greek legend about someone who got eternal life but not eternal youth, and eventually aged into becoming a grasshopper?
 



aco175

Hero
Homer Simpson "monkey paw', he ended up with a ham sandwich after his first couple wishes went poorly.

I also saw the one below but I think it was a commercial where someone climbed a mountain to the wise man.

"Can you really grant a wish?" Really?
 


Lanefan

Victoria Rules
Once in a while a PC will pick up a wish in my game, be it from a Luckblade or a wild magic effect or whatever, and not realize it; which has led to some rather bizarre events over time.

Character deep in a dungeon somewhere, pining for the comforts of town "I wish I had a feather bed." >poof< Very nice 4-poster feather bed appears, much to everyone's surprise, and far too big to fit out of the door to the room it's in....

All-Human-and-Elf party finds a cave too small for any of them to fit into. One character turns to another: "I wish you were a Hobbit so you could fit in here." >poof< character turns to a Hobbit. But her armour and other gear is still all Human-size....

And I once had a player actually try, this time with a wish she knew she had, the "I wish there was no evil in the world" trick. >poof< As the PC was a Good Cleric he was simply planeshifted to his deity's home plane where there is no evil....
 

I remember hearing about a PC party getting their hands on a deck of many things. One PC pulled a card that ended up with him losing every single material possession...fortunately, he had one more draw left in the deck and he ended up getting a wish.

"I wish for all of my sh*t back," he said. And was surprised when a lifetime's worth of fecal matter suddenly reappeared, burying him alive and suffocating him in his own wastes.

Johnathan
 






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