WotC conspiracy theory

Mortaneus said:
The truth is that we're all secretly being watched by the red-shirted one who looms eternally over those who play D&D.....

(don't believe me? check out the reflection in the jewels on the front of your PHB. It's easier to see if you hold the book upside-down.)

Neato BOB! I hadn't seen that before I read this post.. Since this was DRAWN, I wonder who would actually DRAW that in!!!
 

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This message is for any one who can hear my voice.....

Me and the darring Ninja Gnomes have found the sourse of the con*Static*. It is none other than Stev*Static*. Thats right *Static* Jackson. *Static* son has allied him self with no other than Jimmey Carter the leader of the vast Right Wing Con*Static*. 3.5 is just a ploy to boost the sales of GUR*Static* and use the money to buy *Static*. The MIBs have foun*Static*. This may be my last bord cast. If I don't contact you again call the Pres*Static*. Too many*Blam Blam*. Dartnnet X sighning off...
*Static*
 

The real truth of the matter is that there is no one at WotC. They've all been replaced by LucasFilm droids. George Lucas himself is quoted as saying:

"I will put the LucasFilm Logo on every toy and game! I WILL HAVE MY EMPIRE!!!"

logo.gif




The entire staff of Wizard of the Coast are now chained in a small office in Oakland Cal. working for Chaosium. Said Charlie Crank president of Chaosium

"I finally have them where I want them! I will burn every last copy of Deities and Demi-Gods with Cthulhu Mythos!"



dragonbox.jpg
 
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The thing are far worse than what you think. The signs are there, but nobody successfully made the connection.

Actually, the goal of D&D 4th edition is to provide Their agents with an innocuous looking, disguised spellbook. As a well known private eye and investigator has found out, D&D may permit you to learn real spells.

But you have to decode the book carefully with a key hidden in d20 Modern in order to read spell. The key is subliminally hidden in the FX chapter, if you look at it as if it was a stereographic picture, you may catch it.

They use these spells for mind-control purpose. Sadly for them, Real Magic is dangerous to use. That's what inspired them for the damaging spells in CoC and the Book of Vile Darkness. The revision, and the 4th edition (who are one and the same: "forth edition", it's a code) was written after They realized some breakthrough in arcane manipulations.

They are aliens. The Roswell Creature. The Grey. They are Them. Their ultimate goal is to resurrect their leader on Earth, the overpatriarch Elvis Presley (whom everyone knows his connection with aliens since rumors have leaked about his frequent jaunts on Mars). Then Elvis Reborn would lead an army of warrior-clones (the Star Wars movie episode 2 was just a ploy to subliminally force people into hopelessness when They'll release their clone armies) to take over the world. To this purpose, They'll use the cloning technology of the Raelian sect (a mere pawn in Their hands), but they have discovered they need a potent relic lost in the sand of ancient Babylonia -- today's Iraq. That's why They sent inspectors with the secret mission of bringing that relic, and why They'll also ordered an attack of occupation in case inspections were not enough. The power of the relic is equivalent to that of the Ark Covenant, which was searched for also (the Indiana Jones movie was just a way to broadcast Their orders to Their moles and agents everywhere). Note the connection between Lucas and Spielberg. Other films by them were also made to influence the mass' opinion on extraterrestrian creatures (ET, Encounter of the 3rd Type...).

But they'll have yet other plans to Their infamous genetech magic. Have you noticed Their insistance for WotC to put Desmodus everywhere ? It's one of the species of überwarriors They plan to create in order to take over the world. Other likely candidates for creation are the Loxo and the Gelatinous Cube.

Be afraid, be very afraid.
 
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!!!!!WARNING!!!!!

You guys are talking to much, they know about this thread. DO NOT POST ANYTHING FURTHER!!!!!!




I know what the Setting Search winner was --- Rainbow Brite D20
 

Red Herrings, It's All Red Herrings

The truth is even more horrific...

It's all a nefarious plot by Kevin Siembieda of Palladium Games.

Angered by the criticisms heaped upon Rifts by mature gamers, Kevin has initiated a plan to turn D&D into something even more munchkin than his publications. With the aid of his hordes of mindless drones he is flooding every D&D venue he can find with demands for more broken classes, more over the top feats, more ultimate monsters that don't even make sense in gaming terms, much less in terms of the real world.

The ultimate goal is to create an edition of D&D so twinky merely glancing at a copy while walking past a game store will cause you to lose your parental rights down to the sixth and a third generation (with probationary status until the 33rd century).

D&D Ultimissimo will allow the player to run such characters as Half Celestial Half Dragon Fiendish Duergar Blackguard Dwarven Defenders with vibro-double axes in arcane ceramo-armor with a woven titanium core as starting equipment. With a setting where you can walk into a small village and purchase body parts from cloned Vecnas for just 20% over standard price.

Be afraid. Plotz until your GI tract collapses afraid.

:p
 

Re: Red Herrings, It's All Red Herrings

mythusmage said:
The truth is even more horrific...

It's all a nefarious plot by Kevin Siembieda of Palladium Games.

Angered by the criticisms heaped upon Rifts by mature gamers, Kevin has initiated a plan to turn D&D into something even more munchkin than his publications. With the aid of his hordes of mindless drones he is flooding every D&D venue he can find with demands for more broken classes, more over the top feats, more ultimate monsters that don't even make sense in gaming terms, much less in terms of the real world.

The ultimate goal is to create an edition of D&D so twinky merely glancing at a copy while walking past a game store will cause you to lose your parental rights down to the sixth and a third generation (with probationary status until the 33rd century).

D&D Ultimissimo will allow the player to run such characters as Half Celestial Half Dragon Fiendish Duergar Blackguard Dwarven Defenders with vibro-double axes in arcane ceramo-armor with a woven titanium core as starting equipment. With a setting where you can walk into a small village and purchase body parts from cloned Vecnas for just 20% over standard price.

Be afraid. Plotz until your GI tract collapses afraid.

:p

Ahh the Juicer Manifesto...

I was wondering when somebody would bring that up.

Then there is ~Operation Black Cat~ by White Wolf. Everybody will be able to play, Vampiric Werewolf Changeling Hunter Wraith Mages. Yes feats will be eliminated and replaced with Super Duper Power Stuff. You thought Epic Level stuff was powerful, just wait till Operation Black Cat.
 

Re: Hal is right! Check out this top secret press Release!

Harlock said:
Renton, WA -

Wizards of the Coast, a division of Hasbro (NYSE: HAS) has announced that it will be releasing the fourth edition of its popular fantasy roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons in May of 2004. This comes hot on the heels of the successful release of d20 Modern, a roleplaying game which blends science fiction and fantasy roleplaying elements into a modern or near future setting. Also, due to the largely successful Dungeons and Dragons edition of the classic Clue board game there will be many changes to the new system.

Anthony Valterra, Wizards of the Coast: Dungeons and Dragons Product Manager said, "The new D&D fourth edition will blend the most popular elements of all of our games from both Wizards of the Coast and our parent company, Hasbro."

This includes elements from Clue, Magic: The Gathering, Pokemon, Dungeons and Dragons, d20 Modern, Chutes and Ladders and others. Valterra elaborated, "In D&D fourth edition you get a starter deck and a playing board or "battlemat" as we call it in a collectible tin that is ready for you to play right off the shelf. No more annoying books to read or carry around! You can collect all kinds of class cards. Instead of the standard D&D classes we borrowed an element from d20 Modern and now have more generic and customizable collectible card classes like the Strong Sword Swiging Hero, and the Fast Dextrous Nimble Likely to Steal and Disable Traps Hero, and of course we'll have the magic-using classes like Arcane Casting with a Familiar and Memorized Spells Hero, the Arcane Casting with a Familiar and Non-Memorized Spells Hero, and the Holy Magic Casting Spontaneous Healing Blunt Weapon Using Undead Turning Hero. You'll notice we have gotten back to basics with this edition because the Holy Magic Casting Spontaneous Healing Blunt Weapon Using Undead Turning Hero can no longer just go and use any weapon. We got feedback from our fanbase that that was a mistake that we made in third edition Dungeons and Dragons. So, we listened to our fans and fixed it."

Also new in this edition of Dungeons and Dragons is the Head Writer for Dungeons and Dragons Development Group, Keith Baker.

"Man, I just won this campaign setting contest and I never dreamed they'd just let me take over and write the new edition of Dungeons and Dragons. It's an awesome feeling that they recognized my talent and brilliance. I mean, at this time last year I was serving coffee to uptight neo-yuppies in a Starbucks and now I am the Head Geek of the new Dungeons and Dragons. We have some great plans lined up setting-wise for this edition. For instance we're going to offer settings based on board games. The Chutes and Ladders expansion deck will come with familiar elements from that classic game and you can even buy a custom Chutes and Ladders Campain Setting "battlemat" for maximum roleplaying immersion in this fantastic setting!" Baker added, "Man, if those yuppie bastards could see me now!"

Hasbro also has plans for a line of collectible, fully poseable action figures based on the more rare collectible Hero Cards. They will come completely unassembled and unpainted so players can customize them as much as they want. The action figures will also have an entirely different set of rules for a skirmish level wargame called Medium Armor Composed of Conjoined Rings of Metal Wearing Hero Skirmish Level Wargame Game. For more information on Hasbro go to www.hasbro.com and for Dungeons and Dragons Fourth Edition there is a preview site with playable demo and pictures of Keith Baker squandering his winnings on a massive "kegger" party at www.dndfoure.com.

PS: Hi Hal Baby!

Actually there is a game like that. It is called Dragonstorm.

And as for WotC, I am confident that nothing of the sort is happening. Relax, they have your best interests in mind and desire only to please. In fact you all should go out and buy other WoTC **ouch! Not so close to the neck! I'm reading the script! You gnome ninjas think you're hot stuff with your OWWWWW!!!!! Wahhh, NOOOOooooooooooo! KKSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH*static*
 

Bill Gates involvement would explain how all of my secret projects seem to get usurped by others... They're being siphoned out via my W2K OS and OfficeXP applications and released to the chronies of the grand overlord himself. Yes, this WOULD explain a lot...

Eric Price
 

Peter Adkison is Col Pladoh's long lost love child. Adkison was blackmailing Col P and forced the Col out of TSR. Adkison used the extortion money he had obtained from Col P to finance WotC's take-over of TSR.

What Adkison didn't know was that St Bill is a player in Col P's weekly 1E game. Col P offered to give St Bill's character a ring of three wishes if St Bill bought WotC. Trying to hide his D&D addiction, St Bill bought Hasbro in order to covertly seize WotC. Once St Bill was in charge he kicked out Adkison.

St Bill was responsible for 3E which is why it's full of bugs and requires a patch, namely 3.5.

Now you know.
 

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