Gaming Pride / Gaming Shame

[Dedekind]

Completely hidden. I work in a professional organization that requires a lot of customer interaction and others' views of me are important to my daily job. It doesn't seem the stereotypes apply to me, so I avoid misconception this way.

On the other hand, it's not like people suddenly ask "Do you play D&D?". So, "hiding it" is actually "not bringing it up." Is that different? Am I "lying" as a previous poster put it?

 

[Hussar]

I don't advertise it, but, I don't hide it either. Generally, it depends on where I am, and who I'm talking to. If someone asks, I'm more than willing to explain, but, otherwise, I don't really bring it up.

 

[ProfessorCirno]

If someone asks, I talk about it.

Not something that comes up often in conversation, mind you ;p

 

[Engilbrand]

I'm a young high school teacher. German and English. I usually start the year off with info about myself, including that I'm a gamer. I don't know if I've mentioned it to this year's first level class, but just about everything about me comes out eventually.
Including that I like Enya. That tends to throw them for a loop. Enya, German techno, Heavy Metal. They never know what to expect. Hell, I tie the ideas of quests back to video games in my senior English class, so I'm definitely "out" as a nerd.

 

[CleverNickName]

I'm not in the closet about it, but I keep it firmly rooted in my "home" life...my family, my friends, people who hang out at my house on weekends, they all know that I am a gamer nerd DM. Most of them are fellow gamers, in fact.

But when it comes to my "work" life, I clam up about it. I don't bring my books or dice to the office, and I don't talk about it. I act ignorant when the subject comes up.

I don't know why. I guess I like to keep the two separate.

 

[Draksila]

The first thing people see when they walk into my apartment is a wall and bookshelves full of RPG and gaming stuff. It's right there when you open the door. Why would anyone be ashamed of it and actively hide or conceal their nature? The idea seems silly if not outright dishonest to me.

I envy people who can say this with a straight face. I'm a military brat who has lived in the Bible belt since my father left the Air Force; I've seen both sides of the equation on this subject. When we were living on bases among other military types, hobbies were a binding force. When you don't know from year to year if your friends are still going to be living nearby, you learn to make friends with anyone with similar interests and a lack of sociopathic behavior; therefore, D&D was a foundation for new friendships as much as poker or bowling or pool. There was no stigma attached to it, and it was seen as a valid pasttime.

Then we moved to rural North Carolina. There was one gaming shop nearby, branched off from a nearby comic shop. The comic shop did fine, aside from its stigma as a nerd haven. The gaming shop, however, had groups of Southern baptists and born-again Christians that would purposefully loiter in front of it and try to block people from going into the store. The police wouldn't do anything about it, since their attitude seemed to range from one of mild amusement at the problem to fully supporting the religious nuts. While our high school librarians and principal seemed okay with allowing the small group of gamers to gather in the library on breaks, our members were harassed by the rest of the school population and guaranteed an outcast status until they gave up being seen there. Parents would write to the school and the school board concerned about 'Satanic clubs' being allowed on school grounds. Mind you, this was as recent as the early nineties.

The LARP groups had a different problem altogether. The locals were always calling the cops with noise complaints and making accusations of drug and weapons possession, so most sessions had to deal with the cops at least once a night. I never played in the LARPs, though, so all of those stories come second-hand.

So, yeah, there are a lot of us who feel that we have to hide our love of the hobby in order to protect ourselves. It's not dishonest; it's survival.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I'm still mostly in the closet about being a gamer. I don't hide the fact that I play but I don't go out of my way to advertise it (my gaming books are in plain sight on the bookcase at home). When meeting people I might tell people that I play lacrosse but I won't mention D&D. If I know or get the impression that someone is a gamer I might out myself but otherwise I keep it to myself. I think half the problem is I don't really know how to talk about it without it seeming really childish and/or strange. The other part of the problem is the stereotypes and associations that people think of when you tell them you play D&D. A lot of people know of D&D and have automatic assumptions when you mention it.

My family and my wife's family know that I play as well as my friends, my wife's friends and our neighbours (they asked why there were 4 cars parked out the front of my house every second Wednesday night). None of the guys on my lacrosse team (that I've been in for 5 years) know I play and neither do my work colleagues.

Reactions of people who know/found out that I play D&D have been mixed. My wife thinks it's a bit nerdy and isn't remotely interested in playing but doesn't mind me having 5 people over every second week to play. She like to (playfully) insult me by calling me a nerd. I just tell her "Ha, ha, you married a nerd!" I didn't tell her I played D&D when we first started dating but my gaming books were on my bookcase in my room. I don't really know how I explained to her what it is.

My best friend (who has never played any sort of RPG's) just thinks of it as another hobby. It's just the same as me watching football or playing video games to him. My sister (who is 23, I'm 27) likes to mock me about D&D, saying things like "I AM THE DUNGEON MASTER" in a mysterious voice. I think she thinks of it as something that 15 year olds play. She seems to like telling the guys she dates that I play D&D as if it is something embarrassing she has over me. I don't mind too much as I'm not really embarrassed by what she does and I want to be more open about the fact that I'm a gamer anyway. Who knows, one day I may get lucky and find out one of them is a gamer too!

I'm pretty sure my parents think that D&D is a bit strange. It probably didn't help that some of the people I played with when I was a teenager/early 20's were more than a little odd. My in-laws probably think it is a little odd as well. They've asked a couple of times what exactly D&D is but I haven't been able to explain it very well. My father-in-law was a little confused in that it was a game that we played so frequently and for so long (4 hour sessions). He also didn't seem to understand that there wasn't really a "winner" as such.

When I used to read White Dwarf (the GW magazine) at university from time to time one of my uni friends (a female) would refer to it as "demon porn". She didn't think there was anything satanic about it but some of the pictures did features demons and the like. I don't know where the porn came into it though! I managed to convince one of my other uni friends who liked reading fantasy novels to play a couple of sessions in a 3E game I was running but I don't think she found it all that interesting.

None of my work colleagues know I play. One of them knows that I like Games Workshop games (his two sons are into Warhammer 40K) so we chat about that from time to time but he doesn't know I play D&D. I don't really want to advertise it at work as I am sure there will be immediate.

On an amusing note, I remember a previous thread like this on EN World where one poster said he was open to all about the fact that he was gay but in the closet about the fact he played D&D!

Olaf the Stout

 

[blargney the second]

Open.

I'm generally a pretty straightforward guy, so I just tell people when they ask what I've been up to. I've discovered many other gamers that way.
-blarg

 

[Vegepygmy]

I'm out of the closet. Several people at work (the ones who are curious enough to ask) know that Wednesday night is my "D&D Night," and that when I change clothes in my office at 5:00, it's not because I'm going to the gym.

I like to think that they generally hold me in such high esteem that this one little facet of geekiness doesn't change their opinion of me...but the bottom line is that I don't really care if it does.

 

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

There seems to be no social stigma attached to RPGs in Germany - most people have no idea what RPGs are.
Though I suppose some might mistake it with some... sexual role-playing, so it's good to qualify it a little more, like "pen & paper" role-playing. But it's more likely they think it are just computer games.

I sometimes hint at my hobby towards colleagues, friends or relatives (sometimes to explain where I am at all these Saturday evenings ). One of my colleagues in fact played, but is more into board games (and he is even organizing a local event in a pub).

Those that know what RPGs are will certainly associate "nerdiness" with it, but, well, I am a programmer/software developer, so it's not like I can avoid it, anyway.