Humanophile
First Post
Hida Bukkorosu said:ok.... today i was at taco bell, and there was a girl there she smiled at me and said hi from across the room. i said hi and smiled but was too scared to approach her and try to flirt with her (she was there alone as was i).
why? cause i was worried she might be underage and that people would think i'm some kind of pervert or something...
but now i feel like i blew a chance to talk to a really cute girl...
is my fear reasonable? is there an accepted way of asking a girl if she's old enough to be flirted with or not?
First, at your age, so long as she's post-pubescent she's old enough to be flirted with. Your goal right now should be playful conversation. People don't pay enough attention to really notice that a twenty year old is talking to a sixteen year old or whatever.
Second, and more importantly. Try to remember this as your mantra next time you're in a situation like this. Will you ever see any of the people in that Taco Bell again? Odds are pretty good that you won't be socializing with any of them unless you make a point of it to. So remind yourself that you'll get practice chatting up girls, probably have a nice time, and maybe make a new friend. All those positives vs. the risk of looking odd in front of people you'll never have to deal with. (And trust me, the risk is far less than you think it is.) Remind yourself that next time you need to bolster your nerve.
(You probably come off as nice and nebbishy, the "good friend not the boyfriend" type. For the moment, ignore Teflon Billy's advice and come across as you are. You won't get action, but you'll likely have a pleasant conversation. Early on, you can even admit "I'm not used to talking to girls". As you build your people skills and confidence by seeing that people can actually enjoy talking to you, that's when you begin to position yourself for more.)
Finally, the age issue. Like I said above, so long as she doesn't look thirteen or so you can go up and talk to her. Some time during the conversation you can ask her age, either indirectly ("so where do you go to school?") or directly. When one of you has to go, if you've enjoyed the conversation and if she's old enough, you can ask if you can get ahold of her some time in the future. There's no law against having a conversation with a young'un, and if she looks like she's probably old enough to you other people will probably assume the same if they see you chatting her up.