So what you're saying is that 3e didn't need a system overhaul so much as your DM just needed to be given explicit permission to take charge of his game.
Not saying that, so much, as that 3e doesn't have as much support for this, and how do it in a fair way.
I mean - do I allow ranged attacks to disarm people, or trip? Okay, but what if someone has taken the feat that's there to allow that sort of thing?
This points to a different philosophy when playing.
edit:
Let me throw down some actual play experiences. I don't have much, but I have played a few times.
In the first game, one of the PCs tried to do an Acrobatic stunt. Spoilers for Kobold Hall - the DMG adventure - follow:
[sblock=Kobold Hall Spoilers]In the rock throwing room, one of the PCs tried to jump on the rope that was flying around, sail across the room, and kick the kobold who was going to catch the rope.
This was an Acrobatic stunt, but it failed because the DCs were still messed up.
In 3e, I guess I would have resolved it using a Jump or Tumble check, then an attack roll at the end.
The difference is that I have to apply the precise mechanics to something they were not meant for vs. rolling a skill check.[/sblock]
In the second game I ran, a PC tried to convince some human rabble to flee using a Diplomacy check vs. Will, doing standard damage (1d6+3 for level 1).
In 3e, I have no idea how I would handle this. There is no standard table for basic damage by level.
In the last game I ran, a PC tried to knock a guard prone and silence him. This was resolved as a Dex attack vs. AC - Dex because of how the player described the action. He succeeded.
In 3e, this is flatly impossible unless you break the grapple and trip rules and want to nerf casters.
So anyways, my own personal experience is that 4e is much more flexible and much more concerned with what's going on in the fiction than 3e was.