NOW WHAT?! (A rant about my mother)

[Whitemouse]

So my mom is visiting me for a short while. I just went in the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and she looks at me annoyed like and says, "Now what?" I told her I wanted to make a cup of coffee and she glares at me.

She sitting at the kitchenette table in her nightgown reading the paper, IN MY HOUSE having an attitude with me for something I want. Ugh. And people say that in laws are bad. I asked her if she wants me to come back later for a cup of coffee and she says yes. So I left the kitchen. And now I'm fuming mad. This is my mother in my house telling me what to do and when to do it.

URGH! SO. MAD. How do you suggest I deal with her?

 

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

Kill her and take her stuff?


Wait! Maybe that's not such a great idea after all. You don't have a party and she might be a shapechanged Dragon.

Spoiler

Also, it's illegal. Unless she is a Dragon

I don't know. I have never been in such a situation, but I suppose the general advice is trying to talk about it. Finding the right when and how can be difficult. Usually it's important to ensure that you don't attack or critisize her, but speak from your point of view and how her behavior makes you feel. But I am not an expert on psychology or communication theory, I am just trying to remember "German" lessons from a decade or so ago.

 

[Dog Moon]

Well, has she been there a couple of days or is this her first morning? It's possible that she's just in a bad mood about something completely unrelated to you [and maybe she slept poorly as well] and you just happen to be the first person she saw. I know if I'm in a bad mood when I wake up, it stays around with me for a while and the first person that wants something at work I pretty much just stare at them and go "What?" Nothing personal, just a bad mood, and usually, it goes away fairly quickly for me.

But I would try not go get too upset unless it lasts all day and then continues into the next day. Then, you'll probably have to talk to her, see what's up, if it's you she has a problem with or she just hasn't been able to let go of the baggage she picked up before visiting.

 

[GrumpyOldMan]

Always be nice to your mother (and father). They're allowed to have bad days, and tantrums, just like you are.

<edit> And talk to her, and find out what's wrong. <end edit>

When you have kids of your own you'll really appreciate this advice. Until then, it's just the ramblings of a Grumpy Old Man.

 

[Whitemouse]

Well, has she been there a couple of days or is this her first morning?

First morning. I picked her up at the airport last night.

I'm just going to give her plenty of space and hope she feels better tomorrow.

 

[Whitemouse]

When you have kids of your own you'll really appreciate this advice. Until then, it's just the ramblings of a Grumpy Old Man.

I do have a son. He is coming over for the weekend as that is when my ex has to let me have him.

 

[megamania]

Jet lag, allegies, bad day, sleeping in strange place..... Anyone can and will wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Chill today and try again later.

 

[The_Warlock]

Wow. While I agree it is important to respect one's parents, I also believe they have to behave like adults, not throw tantrums.

I believe my response would have been "Yes? Is there something wrong?", and lacking a response, would have continued to make my morning drink of choice.

If there was a response, I would have treated it with as much seriousness as it warranted.

Otherwise I would ignore any glares, make whatever I needed in the kitchen, and not acquiesced to any demands without a clear reasoning as to why.

Parent or not.

After the fact, I would ask what was wrong if they weren't communicative at the original time, and coverse about it, if necessary.

But I don't take guff or commands from anybody under my roof, whether they slept bad or not. If they can't communicate, I'm not a mind reader, and they get no truck from me.

But I'm also 6'1", 220lbs, and not afraid of communicative confrontation, so...I may have an edge in that.

 

[frankthedm]

URGH! SO. MAD. How do you suggest I deal with her?

You make your coffee. Trod over to the source of your caffeine and get done what needs to get done.

 

[Relique du Madde]

::thinks::

Um... never mind... all the ideas that came to my mind were BAD.