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TURTLEDOME!: Battle Bone (DM: KenHood, Judge: Lord S.)

Upon hearing that Mr. Swillwort did not want the rats, Vaunea puts down the unconscious rat and beats it until it is dead.

"Vaunea kill rat. No more rat here. Want me kill your rats also?" Vaunea looks around to the rest of the group, looking for a response.
 

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[sblock=Uh...]The rats were part of the treasure from the encounter. :eek:

DM Fiat: Vaunea just splatted the minion rat.[/sblock]

[sblock=Emral]On the paper is written the rather cryptic, two-word sentence, "Read everything." The signature says, "DM".

Hmm...[/sblock]

After Vaunea smashes the rat, the two guards burst into childish giggles. One pantomines a roundhouse punch. You barely hear the other say, "Got milk?" They giggle again, then shush one another when the sergeant rounds upon them.

Annie claps and dances. "Oh, Mr. Swillwort! It's a miracle! A miracle!"

She grabs Hadarai in a smothering hug. "Mr. Warrior, you saved Mr. Swillwort! You're a gift from the gods! Oh, happy day!"

Waitasecond...

Did she just tweak Hadarai's bottom?

I think she did!

She gives him a slobbery kiss and charges after Finnian. "C'mere, you wonderful boy!"
 
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Vaunea walks over to the two giggling guards, with a...well, it's a minotaur, so I guess the look is about the same as her normal look...menacing look on her face. "You have problem? I no like you...or you. Go away."

With that, she stands back, preparing for the guards in case they decide to attack.

[sblock=Intimidate]1d20+5->13[/sblock]
 

"W-wuh? N-no."

"No prob-problems!"

"W-we j-just realized you were the--uh--minotaur lady in that--uh-poster..."

"I-it's back there!"
The guard points down the road, at a broadside hung on a picket fence.
 

Drivan nods to Sir Swillwort, "We'd love to join you in your study, perhaps we should deal with these rats before hand?"

Drivan peruses the papers in his hand, quickly sticking them into his spellbook.

Bending over he examines the rat that Vaunea just smashed, unfolding his rat as well. He gathers the other rats together, unfolding them and arranging them on the porch. He glances up at the scene caused by Hadari's smitten housekeeper, turning back quickly to the unfolded rats.
 

Hadarai twists in horror in the deadly hug, but before the worst can happen, the eladrin disappears momentarily*, only to materialize a few meters away, safely on the porch, next to mr Swillwort.

*yes, he used fey step to get away...
 

Emral crumples up the page, tossing it over his shoulder as utterly unimportant. Now, let's get me over that chasm and get those rats! *cough*

Emral marches over to the folded rats, giving them a once over and checking for any writing. [sblock=well you told me to read everything!] So I'm guessing the unconscious rats say "ZZZzzzz"? [/sblock]

I believe, good Swillwort, that we did this mighty deed to earn ourselves a reward. We're going to be fighting the Legion of Bone, and our good halfling has been helping us find tools so we don't, well, *die* right away. Not to put too fine a point on it, but your experiment did something to me on the way out, and something... doesn't feel right with my spells. I'm not saying it's not fun, but we could use all the help we can get here. Is there anything that can keep the heat off us and onto the Legion?

[sblock=diplomacy]Diplomacy:1d20+4=23 I rolled twice before but it had a semi-colon and kept coming up Error, feel free to check it.

which reminds me: there's so much going on that I want to check out: the note, the rats, and now that billboard. I'm a greedy gamer in that I want to do and play everything! Seriously, this is why I DM in RL. [/sblock]
 
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Finnian drops off the half-folded paper rat with Drivan and then goes to stand alongside Vaunea. He looks the two guards up and down quickly and then pats them on the shoulder.

Yeah, I didn't think there was a problem. You don't want to mess with Vanna, here. That wouldn't be very pleasant for you.

Finnian then pushes past the two stammering guards and heads over to look at the poster. He stands in front of it for a moment, and then rips if off the picket fence and carries it back to the group on the porch.

Have you seen this?! Have you? Why I oughta...

Finnian turns the poster around so everyone on the porch can see,
 

Drivan nods to Sir Swillwort, "We'd love to join you in your study, perhaps we should deal with these rats before hand?"
"Again, I suggest burning them. They are quite dangerous."

[sblock=Origami Rats]As the previous Arcana checks have determined: The rats are unique specimens and have potential resale value in the hundreds or even a thousand gold pieces to the right buyer.[/sblock]
The sergeant shifts his feet. "Well... if you're not needing us anymore. I... erm..."

Drivan peruses the papers in his hand, quickly sticking them into his spellbook.
The sergeant sighs, realizing he has been relegated to scenery. "Okay, boys, let's go."

Drivan notices that the papers that flew out of Swillwort's head radiate intense magic. Perhaps a more *arcane* approach is necessary...

Emral crumples up the page, tossing it over his shoulder as utterly unimportant.
A large balls of slush falls from the sky and smacks Emral on the head.

When he looks up, he sees the clouds have formed a finger, wagging at him.

Emral marches over to the folded rats, giving them a once over and checking for any writing.
There is no writing on the sides of the unconscious rats. However, you notice their sides are moving in imitation of breathing. One of the rats--you can't tell which one in particular--seems to be stirring.

I believe, good Swillwort, that we did this mighty deed to earn ourselves a reward. We're going to be fighting the Legion of Bone, and our good halfling...
"That's me!" says Marco, pushing himself to his feet.

"You'd think someone in this bunch would have the decency to check my condition," he mutters to no one in particular.

...has been helping us find tools so we don't, well, *die* right away. Not to put too fine a point on it, but your experiment did something to me on the way out, and something... doesn't feel right with my spells. I'm not saying it's not fun, but we could use all the help we can get here. Is there anything that can keep the heat off us and onto the Legion?
Swillwort chuckles. It is a weak chuckle, but his condition is far superior to that when you arrived.

"Ah, yes. I remember my own days as an adventurer. The unrepentant greed hidden beneath a thin veneer of public service and moral rectitude. Asking hapless bystanders myriad questions without giving them a pause to answer."

"They do that to me all the time."

"Harassing passersby for information or quests with potential for renumeration. Threatening innocents on the mere suspicion on untoward or unusual behavior. No good deed goes unrewarded--and we beat the tar out of a few villagers to make certain it occurred. Those were the days..."

"You really have no idea who I am?"
he laughs, "I'm certain I can provide your party with a decent reward."

[sblock=Read only if your Passive Perception is 12 or more...]That senile archer left behind his bow and arrows.[/sblock]
 
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Finnian sets the poster down and lends a hand to Marco.

Sorry 'bout that, Mango. You all right, old boy?

Looking back across the yard, Finnian spots something on the grass over by the gate to the road.

C'mon, Vaughan! Let's go see if we can catch that old man. We'll leave this group to figure out what to do with the papers and all that. Never could read much anyways.

The half-elf hurries across the lawn and picks up the bow and arrows that the old man has left behind.

Seargent! Seargent, sir!

Finnian tries to get the seargent for directions to Dr. Gnash or to stop the old man himself if he's still walking away.
 

Into the Woods

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