The Real Housewives/husbands of your RPG Group

[Mark Hope]

This is my better half in her own words:

"Well, I bought the red box when I was about 10 years old (1983-ish) and forced my poor parents to sit through a very badly run game. It was a complete disaster so I retired from DMing at that point (though continued to be interested in D&D and would get very excited by references to it in tv and films eg, ET). My parents later decided it was evil and dangerous, by the way, which I always found pathetic and amusing in equal measure. Fast forward nearly 10 years and I'm in the pub and I get chatting to Mark - somehow the subject of D&D comes up and next thing I know I've agreed to come along to his next gaming session (a Ravenloft adventure, I think it was). It was brilliant - I then played on and off for about the next ten years (my favourite character got to about 22nd level), made life-long friends through it, and, of course, I got to know and eventually settle down with Mark. Since having children, however, I have more or less stopped playing altogether. I'm just not as interested as I once was. Two of our kids play sometimes - I confess I am quite proud of the fact that our daughter could name Tiamat and identify her heads/breath weapons at age 4! I may return to it again later in life - retirement maybe? I nearly got right back in to it a couple of years ago when I agreed to play Tomb of Horrors... it was loads of fun and we seemed to be doing so well - I even bought a "I survived the Tomb of Horrors" bumper sticker for my car - but we all died in the end and it was all very traumatic. I'm still very upset about it! I think it will be years before I dive in again. I don't know what else to say. I guess I am quite nerdy, though I wouldn't describe myself that way. I think D&D is a healthy hobby, I don't understand wives/girlfriends who have an issue with it, or who think it's not an appropriate hobby once you pass a certain age. There are much worse things out there that their partners could be doing. And I don't understand gamers who have to seek 'permission' from their partners. I have no problem with Mark continuing to play or run games. He's the best DM I've ever seen "

Heh. Cool. That's my honey. I am a very lucky man. . Still feel bad about the Tomb of Horrors, though. (If you want to see me abusing her and some other people, here are the session writeups: Part 1, Part 2.)

(She has just told me to add that she regularly looks for copies of ST1 Up The Garden Path for me in charity shops. Doesn't get any better than that, really.)

 

[francisca]

My wife is very supportive of my gaming. She has no problem with me attending a bi-weekly game, and even spent the better part of two years playing in my AD&D Greyhawk campaign, where she totally kicked ass. The guys still miss her 5 years later and hope remains that she will come back to the table someday.

She will occasionally play some boardgames with me and the kids, including Cosmic Encounter, Carcassonne, Ticket to Ride, etc...

She also has no problem with me attending conventions. As a matter of fact, she spent a day with me and the kids at GenCon last year, and the whole family will be at GaryCon this year, as part of the kid's spring break.

Yes. I have it *real* good. I could go on about how awesome she is, but except for the few of you on this board who have met her, you guys wouldn't believe it.

 

[jimmifett]

My wife wasn't into tabletop gaming when we got married. She was into video games and MMOs, so I was able to turn her on to tabletop when 4e came out. She figured she might as well check out all these books she surprises me with, in addition to my entire bookcase of other rpg books she tried to ignore for years.

Now she plays regularly, and still surprises me with books and accessories. Our daughter likes to play too.

 

[Nemesis Destiny]

My wife and I met at the game table. We were both players in a horrible series of campaigns run by a mutual friend. I actually quit gaming entirely for a while until she invited me to a new campaign that she was starting herself.

I jumped at the chance and the rest, as they say, is history.

We've been on opposite sides in Edition Wars (2e v. 3e), gone through long periods of non-gaming due to life interference, bouts of gaming on forums, digressions to other games, and player recruitment nightmares, but at the end of the day, we still share that campaign world that she started and an interest in roleplaying.

I think that she thinks I think about it too much, but she knows better than to try and stop me.

Of the others in my gaming group, only one other is married, and his partner is supportive, if not enthusiastic of his hobby. She tried gaming with him once, I'm told, but did not get into it.

The rest are all single guys, all of whom are single for pretty obvious reasons.

Actually, we have a new player coming into the group soon, whom I've been told has a girlfriend, so we'll see how that goes.

I've really enjoyed reading all your stories here; thanks for sharing

Though, I do find the ones containing phrases like "allows me to play" or similar to be quite chilling. Perhaps even more than the ones whose partners openly disapprove. I understand choosing life over game, but when it doesn't have to be that way, why be forced to choose? I know there are reasons, but still...

 

[Rel]

Yes. I have it *real* good. I could go on about how awesome she is, but except for the few of you on this board who have met her, you guys wouldn't believe it.

I'LL vouch for you:

francisca's wife is a BABE.

 

[jcayer]

My wife is relatively supportive of my hobby. We host every 2 weeks, so she gets annoyed that she has to clean the house(her requirement). But she is now friends with all the players and enjoys dining with us, since we eat before we play. She is a baker, so she's constantly experimenting on us and the guys really appreciate her...that makes it much easier for everyone.

She has sat at the table once, and rolled way too well, but has resisted since then. Going to school online, she does most of her homework at night, so that makes it harder for her. She does have a lot of interest in singing and acting, so I know she'd love the RP elements. Maybe once she's done with school. Interestingly, she has admitted that she is sometimes jealous of my every other week, fun time with my friends.

As for the other guys, one had his girlfriend join us at the table for a while, but I think she was just their to socialize. She has since left the group, but is still supportive of his playing. Most of the other wives are relatively supportive, some I think are just happy to have a quiet night at home.
The one guy, who is not married, continues to joke that he won't tell his girlfriend, now fiance. The long running joke was he went to the gay bar on D&D night, since that was easier to explain to her. Since she's moved in with him, I believe he's come clean with her about his "hobby"

 

[NewJeffCT]

Describe your spouse, whether a gamer or not, in respect to what they think of your gaming. If you can get them to post or at least quote them directly, all the better. If you want to (even can) do so, elaborate on the spouses of others in the group. Be diplomatic, please, for the sake of the children.

My wife really has no clue about D&D other than I have a bunch of friends over every other Friday night that play games in the basement. She grew up in mainland China, though, so it's mostly a cultural thing about her not knowing what we're doing and that we're a bunch of geeks. She has no interest in learning the game, though, and has no interest in movies like Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, etc. She's hot, however, so I tolerate her faults like not gaming.

Of the rest of my group, everybody is married and only the couple that married 3 years ago does not have kids yet. His wife is a gamer that was in our group, but dropped out because she went back to school. None of the other wives are gamers and I have no clue what any of them do other than one of them being an ER doctor.

 

[Oryan77]

My wife is hot, extremely sexy. She is half Afghan & half Egyptian. She is also very smart and very funny. She's easy going and gets along with every type of person and was part of the popular crowd in school. She was the vice president in her High School and the president at her Community College. She works as a paralegal. How she ended up with me is a mystery, but I don't complain.

So I was very surprised when I hinted at the fact that I wanted to play D&D again (when 3rd edition came out) and she asked me about D&D and seemed genuinely interested in it. She was my first 3e player and she's been playing ever since.

She's not a gamer by any means, but she likes playing D&D. She doesn't think about gaming outside of the day we actually play. She hates combat, but loves the roleplaying part. She's supportive of my gaming and let's me do my thing when it doesn't involve her. Even though she's not the typical gamer, she still shows interest in going to a convention one day (I've never gone).

People would probably be pretty surprised to find out she plays D&D. Overall, I feel lucky to have her as a wife.

 

[Crazy Jerome]

Sadly, walking away is probably the best thing that you can do in a situation like that. The vast majority of people who hold those beliefs about gaming have usually based that idea on what someone "warned" them about, so it's usually either impossible (or nearly so) to bring them around.

I've had some luck asking them what else the speaker "warned" them about. Specifically, did the speaker talk about people obsessed with sports, TV, etc? The answer is nearly always, "No." This usually provides an entry point for understanding that the speaker was probably a hypocrite and a charlatan.

There are exceptions, but those are rare enough that you'd probably enjoy the ensuing discussion, if into that kind of thing, even if it came across as a little alien to most people here.

My wife is actually a bit susceptible to this kind of "warning" in other contexts, and she knows it. Gaming has been a good innoculation against it.