Your game sucks...

[Hussar]

Heh, it's funny but I just joined an online group I'm fairly happy with and I replaced their leader player so I had to make a leader character. The only time I ever played a leader before was when I played my uber-super healer which people complained about because he had TOO MUCH healing. So this time around I thought I'd try and please everyone and somehow in the process of trying to do that, I pissed off everyone.

Is it possible to be TOO considerate?

LOL.

One thing about online games is you really, REALLY have to be very specific. It's just like forums - meaning gets lost too easily. I've found that being very blunt and direct helps more than it hurts. Sure, it's not all that friendly, but, it gets the point across and saves so much hassle later on down the road.

 

[Holy Bovine]

I care about lateness. It isn't about formality, or D&D being a "job", it's that we schedule games specifically when everyone says they can come, several days to a week in advance. If you tell me, "I will be at this place, at this time." I want you to do it. If something's up, if you're sick, if your kids need you, if traffic's bad, I get that. If you just really needed to spend 15 more minutes messing about, we have a respect issue going on.

So you actually demand explanations as to why each person was more than x minutes late? Oyran77 was right - that sounds like it is a job not a recreational activity.

 

[jimmifett]

I've only had to poof a few times. Usually, it's due to DM, as I can put up with most player curiosities if the story is engaging.

I'll usually give at least 2 games. Maybe the first game was a fluke, or the group just had a bad night.

I've had DMs and players (usually a simultaneous combination of the two) so bad that i've packed up and left the table in the middle of a fight. I turn my character over to someone else to run, I'm done.

When I do poof, it generally comes down to "monotonous games, or players with no tactical thinking abilities (or make obviously bad tactical choices without a good RP reason. Fighter lets rest of party walk into a room, then closes the door most of the way and peeks through to see if anything happens)

I work, I have family, I get precious few hours of free time, so when I feel my time is being completely wasted, I cut my losses. I'll be the "bad guy jerk" that up and leaves in the middle of a game, i've got no problem with that role. It's never bc we're "losing" or things "aren't going my way". I'll happily sacrifice my character for the plot, and accept the crit that bashed my character's skull in, but make it exciting! Make it worth my time. Narrate how my death either saved the party or how my brain splatter left an interesting pattern on the face of my ally that was later recognized as a prophecy. Give me something to take with me so I can say "remeber that time when..."

 

[Hussar]

So you actually demand explanations as to why each person was more than x minutes late? Oyran77 was right - that sounds like it is a job not a recreational activity.

Demand is perhaps too strong a word. But, if you make plans to meet someone and you show up half and hour late, don't you automatically apologize and explain? Do you show up and expect everyone to just shrug and move on?

If I'm going to be half an hour late, I'll take the thirty seconds out of my busy schedule to make sure that people know beforehand. It's called common courtesy. Heck, I'll let people know if I think I'm going to be late, regardless of how late I'm going to be, whether it's five minutes or not.

I think the point is, I shouldn't even have to ask why you were late. You should be explaining things before I have a chance. And, hey, I understand. Family stuff, traffic, whatnot. It happens. Totally understand. I have a player right now in the middle of a move. Totally understand that he's going to be a bit off on timing. No problems.

The same way that during the summer vacation, I had the kids at home, which meant that I was going to be ten or fifteen minutes late to sessions.

But, y'know what? I made bloody well sure that it was known that I was going to be late and why.

Again, it's just common courtesy.

 

[Rechan]

Demand is perhaps too strong a word. But, if you make plans to meet someone and you show up half and hour late, don't you automatically apologize and explain? Do you show up and expect everyone to just shrug and move on?

If I'm going to be half an hour late, I'll take the thirty seconds out of my busy schedule to make sure that people know beforehand. It's called common courtesy. Heck, I'll let people know if I think I'm going to be late, regardless of how late I'm going to be, whether it's five minutes or not.

I think the point is, I shouldn't even have to ask why you were late. You should be explaining things before I have a chance. And, hey, I understand. Family stuff, traffic, whatnot. It happens. Totally understand. I have a player right now in the middle of a move. Totally understand that he's going to be a bit off on timing. No problems.

The same way that during the summer vacation, I had the kids at home, which meant that I was going to be ten or fifteen minutes late to sessions.

But, y'know what? I made bloody well sure that it was known that I was going to be late and why.

Again, it's just common courtesy.

You know.

If we were discussing "Going out to dinner with friends and someone is late", we likely wouldn't have this disagreement. But because we're talking about gaming, I think we are.

I mean if everyone was waiting at a restaurant for a couple to show up before eating and they're late, I think everyone in this thread would be annoyed. And when the late couple shows up, usually the first things out of their mouth after saying hi would be "Oh we had so much trouble..." And if they didn't, it would be weird. I think that is the typical situation.

People who don't care about waiting an extra thirty minutes for someone to show up to a restaurant so they can eat are the exceptions. I also think that if someone didn't care about being the late one to a dinner date with friends, then either they have VERY lax friends, or they soon will not get invited.

 

[Pentius]

So you actually demand explanations as to why each person was more than x minutes late? Oyran77 was right - that sounds like it is a job not a recreational activity.

That's a bit of a leap, I think. As Hussar pointed out, I rarely have to demand any explanation, people give it and an apology as a matter of course. And if it were less than ten minutes, I wouldn't care, which makes it nothing like any job I've ever had.

Still, yeah, I care about lateness. I personally make the schedule for each session. I get in touch with each player, making sure the day and time works for them, that they don't have their kids that weekend, that no one is working that day, etc. At the end of that, if they're going to be late, they can damn well send me a text. All of my players have my number and generous texting plans. I don't need an essay, I need "Dude, traffic. sorry. ETA:20 minutes" "Dude, cat threw up, sorry. be there soon". I don't think that's unreasonable. If I agree to be somewhere at a certain time, I'm either there, or I'm apologizing and explaining, and I expect the same out of my friends, for gaming or any other activity.

 

[MortalPlague]

What bothers me more than tardiness is when players don't pay attention to the game and play with their tablet PCs/smartphones/whatever instead.

ARRGH! This drives me up the wall when I DM! So many of my players do this (they're all Nintendo DS gamers)...