Ashamed of being a Gamer?

[Aeolius]

Genius, that is...

I always felt that way about:

 

[Elf Witch]

Right. So do other people. Two people can know what they're talking about, but still disagree, you know. Different people, different situations, different needs, different reactions. No one-size-fits-all answer.

In most cases I would agree with you, but maybe I am old fashioned I was brought up that out right lying especially to avoid consequences is wrong.

These are not little white lies like no honey that dress does make you look fat. This is out right premeditated lying and lying every week to your spouse about where you will be and what you are doing.

I don't how things are where you are but where I am lying on a regular basis to your spouse like that is consider a bad thing to do.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

If you work in a company large enough to have "HR", maybe that's an option. You also have to work in a company that has a culture such that such reports aren't a good way to make more trouble for yourself, rather than less.

And, such a report isn't going to help if it isn't clearly identifiable as "he's giving me grief over my hobby." It can very often be more general and indirect - your hobby only assists in getting you labelled a weirdo/freak or other form of moral reprobate. And it doesn't have to be your boss - if another coworker decides to make life difficult and badmouths you, you can easily get a "name" in some companies.

It is nice when workplace conflicts are easily identified and resolved, but that's not always how they play out.

Yeah, unfortunately sometimes going to HR about something like this can just make things worse (although I am not speaking from personal experience). It may be a case of winning the battle, but losing the war.

Sometimes people that take things up with HR are deemed to be "troublemakers". It isn't right, but that's what can happen sometimes.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I am not sure who's giving marital advice. What I see is people (including myself) saying that repeatedly, knowingly and willfully lying to your spouse is wrong.

Regardless of the situation, this kind of sums up my feeling on the subject. Yes, it is one thing to not be totally open about your hobbies in a work environment when it could cause you to possibly lose your job. It is another thing to keep lying to your wife about your hobby, or to feel like you are in a position where you need to lie to your wife about your hobby.

I'm not referring to any specific situation or person in this thread or any other thread. I'm just talking about in a general sense. In my experience, that sort of behaviour generally does not lead to great outcomes in the long run.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Kaodi]

In the future, you employer may know you are a gamer before your friends do: How Target Figured Out A Teen Girl Was Pregnant Before Her Father Did - Forbes . Discuss.

 

[SkredlitheOgre]

In the future, you employer may know you are a gamer before your friends do: How Target Figured Out A Teen Girl Was Pregnant Before Her Father Did - Forbes . Discuss.

I used to work at Target, so I am completely and utterly unsurprised by this. But then, it doesn't really bother me, either.

 

[stevelabny]

If I'm on the subway, or waiting in line somewhere I'm reading a comic book, or a scifi/fantasy novel or a gaming book or playing video games. Maybe I'm wearing a geek shirt, maybe I'm not. If you ask me what my plans for the weekend are... "I'm watching Legend of Korra and Avengers and Game of Thrones and playing Assassins Creed and might have some friends over for some Small World. I might catch some of the NFL draft and watch the WWE PPV. What are you doing? " Chances are they'll tell me that they plan to drive their demonspawn around, acknowledge the existence of godlike entities, mow their lawn, shop for new curtains, drink alcohol, or other activities that are way beneath me. However, if they react positively to any of my answers, or I react positively to any of theirs, SUDDENLY WE HAVE CONVERSATION.

In most of the jobs I've had, I had a few guys I could talk to about sports, a few guys I could talk to about videogames, someone who was a wrestling fan, someone who was a low-level geek, girls who might watch the same tv or movies or books, or even that old religious jewish lady who used to sit in the desk behind mine...and watched LOST. The only way you can find this out is if you actually TALK to people.

When you TALK to people, you find out that no matter how different you think you might be, you almost always have ONE thing in common.

What I don't get about people who "don't talk about it" is ... how do you ever find other people who share your hobbies? I remember reading a thread on here a few years back about some guy who kept his dirty secret and then was looking in the trash near the office copier and found someone making character sheets. And he eventually realized that one of his office mates played every week and because both of them were ridiculous children they had never met and became friends the entire time.

Do you really just hope that your high school friends never die or move away?


Personally, I literally have no tolerance for people who are ashamed of their geek hobbies.

NONE.

Its insulting.

As in, once you admit to me that you lie about you hobbies for fear that someone else will think less of you, you are giving me permission to think less of you. And I do. And I will not associate with you. Because you have already told me that you think poorly of me. You think I am something that should be hidden away and ashamed of. Screw that.

 

[Mr. Rage]

Nope. Never! I am not shy about my gamer nature whatsoever. I don't think you should be ashamed of your hobbies and such. So what if other people don't like them or think they are lame? That just means you know who NOT to hang out with!

 

[Hal G]

When I was younger I was a closet gamer, from mid-twenties to mid thirties, after I started publishing gaming books and going to conventions in early 2000's I stopped caring and I embrace my "inner geekdom" and I feel so much better!

Embrace it.

 

[Kzach]

My closest friend is ashamed of his interest in gaming. But then he also cares about what everyone around him thinks and has been raised to believe he should think and act in a certain way. Even now when he's trying to maintain a long-term relationship with his girlfriend with a view to marriage, he hides much of his real personality from her because he thinks she will see it as juvenile and unattractive.

For me, personally, I care very little about what anyone thinks of me, including my friends. I figure that if they don't accept me for who I am, then they're not really my friends. And if they're not my friends, then why should I care what they think of me?

In fact, I think too many people are too preoccupied with other people's opinions and don't focus on what really matters, ie. being a good person and contributing positively towards a better world. If you are trying to do that, then what, really, else matters?