RPG Evolution: When Gaming Bleeds

Monte Cook Games recently released Consent in Gaming, a sensitive topic that addresses subjects that make some players uncomfortable. Central to the understanding of why there's a debate at all involves the concept of "bleed" in role-play.

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Picture courtesy of Pixabay.​

Bleed Basics

Courtney Kraft explains bleed:
It’s a phenomenon where the emotions from a character affect the player out of the game and vice versa. Part of the joy of roleplay comes from diving into the fantasy of being something we’re not. When we play a character for a long time, it’s easy to get swept up in the highs of victorious battle and the lows of character death. When these feelings persist after the game is over, that’s when bleed occurs.
Bleed isn't inherently bad. Like actors in a movie, players sometimes draw on experiences to fuel their role-playing, consciously or subconsciously, and this bleed can happen organically. What's of concern in gaming is when bleed has detrimental consequences to the player.

Consent in Gaming explains the risks of negative bleed:
There’s nothing wrong with bleed—in fact, it’s part of the reason we play games. We want to be excited when our character is excited, to feel the loss when our characters do. However, bleed can cause negative experiences if not handled carefully. For example, maybe a character acted in a way that your character didn’t like, and it made you angry at the player too. Or maybe your character is flirting with another character, and you’re worried that it’s also making you have feelings for the player. It’s important to talk about these distinctions between characters and players early and often, before things take an unexpected turn.
There are several aspects that create bleed, and it's central to understanding why someone would need consent in a game at all. Bleed is a result of immersion, and the level of immersion dictates the social contract of how the game is played. This isn't limited to rules alone, but rests as much on the other players as it is on the subject matter.

One of the experiences that create bleed is a player's association with the game's subject matter. For some players, less realistic games (like Dungeons & Dragons) have a lower chance of the game's experiences bleeding into real life, because it's fantasy and not analogous to real life. Modern games might have the opposite effect, mirroring real life situations a player has experience with. There are plenty of players who feel otherwise of course, particularly those deeply involved in role-playing their characters for some time -- I've experienced bleed role-playing a character on a spaceship just as easily as a modern game.

The other element that can affect bleed is how the game is played. Storytelling games often encourage deeper emotional involvement from a player, while more gamist tabletop games create a situational remove from the character by their nature -- miniatures, tactical combat, and other logistics that are less about role-playing and more about tactics. Live Action Role-Playing games (LARPs) have the player physically inhabit their role and are thus provide more opportunities for bleed. Conversely, Massive Multi-Player Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs) might seem like they make bleed unlikely because the player is at a computer, experiencing the game through a virtual avatar -- and yet it can still happen. Players who play a game for a long time can experience more bleed than someone who just joined a game.

Dungeons & Dragons is a particular flashpoint for discussions of bleed, because while it is a fantasy game that can easily be played with disposable characters navigating a dungeon, it can also have surprisingly emotional depth and complexity -- as many live streams of tabletop play have demonstrated.

These two factors determine the "magic circle," where the reality of the world is replaced by the structure of another reality. The magic circle is not a magic wall -- it's porous, and players can easily have discussions about what's happening in the real world, make jokes derived from popular culture their characters would never know, or even just be influenced by their real life surroundings.

The deeper a player engages in the magic circle, the more immersed that player becomes. Governing the player's social contract within the magic circle is something Nordic LARP calls this "the alibi," in which the player accepts the premise that their actions don't reflect on them but rather their character:
Rather than playing a character who is very much like you (“close to home”), deliberately make character choices that separates the character from you and provides some differentiation. If your character has a very similar job to your ideal or actual job, find a reason for your character to change jobs. If your character has a very similar personality to you, find aspects of their personality that are different from yours to play up and focus on. Or play an alternate character that is deliberately “further from home”.

Bleeding Out

Where things get sticky is when real life circumstances apply to imaginary concepts. Bleed exists within the mind of each player but is influenced by the other players. It is fungible and can be highly personal. Additionally, what constitutes bleed can be an unconscious process. This isn't necessarily a problem -- after all, the rush of playing an awesome superhero can be a positive influence for someone who doesn't feel empowered in real life -- unless the bleed touches on negative subjects that makes the player uncomfortable. These psychological triggers are a form of "bleed-in," in which the player's psychology affects the character experience. Not all bleed moments are triggers, but they can be significantly distressing for players who have suffered some form of abuse or trauma.

Consent in Gaming attempts to address these issues by using a variety of tools to define the social contract. For players who are friends, those social contracts have likely been established over years through both in- and out-of-game experiences. But for players who are new to each other, social contracts can be difficult to determine up front, and tools like x-cards can go a long way in preventing misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Thanks to the increasing popularity of tabletop role-playing games, players are coming from more diverse backgrounds with a wide range of experiences. An influx of new players means those experiences will not always be compatible with established social contracts. The recent incident at the UK Gaming Expo, as reported by Darryl is an egregious example of what happens when a game master's expectations of what's appropriate for a "mature" game doesn't match the assumed social contract of players at the table.

This sort of social contract reinforcement can seem intrusive to gamers who have long-suffered from suspicion that they are out of touch with reality, or that if they play an evil character, they are evil (an allegation propagated during the Satanic Panic). This need to perform under a "cover" in their "real" life has made the entire concept of bleed and its associated risks a particularly sensitive topic of discussion.

X-cards and consent discussions may not be for everyone, but as we welcome new players with new experiences into the hobby, those tools will help us all negotiate the social contract that makes every game's magic circle a magical experience.
 

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Michael Tresca

Michael Tresca


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At this point I’m just confused. So I shall bow out. You win.

So the term "sea lion" is a way to shut down conversation sort of like the term "social justice warrior", only well, more so. You see, all these people who are really just trying to practice niceness, don't want to have a conversation. The point of the term is that anyone who doesn't see thing there way is actually a "sea lion" and once they've been corrected by them pointing out to you how good and noble their intentions are - like for example that this is intended to support "inclusivity" - if you refuse to agree with the plan, no matter how civil you are, no matter what reasons you offer, it's because your intentions are ignoble and you may be dismissed as a, well, a "sea lion". Clear now?

Now, for my part, I've made it perfectly clear I'm willing to discuss...

a) Emotional spillover, how to watch for it, what we should do about it, and so forth. It's not a new thing, it's a relevant topic of conversation, and we may have finally reached the point where we can talk about it without the majority of people claiming that I'm allied with B.A.D.D. and denying that there was anything to talk about because they could always separate fiction from reality. That would be great. Some times I feel like that advocate for the comic book code who has always been called a prude and now people are actually going, "Well, maybe he had a point." in a way that they would never actually come out and say. But if the a priori terms of that discussion have to be that I accept terms like "bleed", "alibi", and "magic circle" as constructive ways to think about emotional spillover and over identification and how to handle it, then you are definitely going to get pushback. In particular, there are some statements in the essay on "bleed" about "alibi" that strike me as just flat out validating the old sow about "I was just doing what my character would do" as if your person wasn't involved in that decision making. And ironically, the people insisting that I engage with emotional spillover in terms of "bleed" and "alibi" just a few months or years ago, came down far harder against "I was just doing what my character would do" as an alibi for bad behavior than even I do. But no, if the group has declared "bleed" and "alibi" protect the group, then all their former beliefs get tossed out the window and any critical thinking is me being a "sea lion". Because niceness. Or something.

b) Accommodating players feelings at the table, especially when there might be difficult topics at the table. Great topic. But if the in order to discuss it I first must publically profess that "X-Cards" and check lists of negative and affirmative consent are a great idea, and that we engage with that topic through veto and not communicating, and if you are not doing it that way you are some sort of heartless Nazi, then yes I'll push back and you'll just have to keep calling me a Nazi or a Sea Lion or whatever you think the nice thing to do is.

c) Social contracts, formal and informal, and whether it's always a good idea to formalize them and when and why. That might be a good conversation as well.

Again, the reason the "Sea Lion" thing has come out though is we aren't supposed to discuss this. We aren't supposed to push back against the group. The group, defined as the ones that matter and who get to make choices, have voted and this is the way we are doing things. And if you don't like it, and if you think it is a bad idea, then understand there is nothing you can do about it anyway. Because niceness.

You notice, we aren't actually having a discussion about those things. Ever. We are always arguing particulars with an unspoken eye on politics. Because this isn't about niceness or solving problems, it's about power and putting it to use. No body really wants to start with some first principles, stick to things that have to do with gaming, ask what your experiences are, find out if these things have been a problem for you, whether you've dealt with them in the past, find out what you think, whether they effect you or not, and what might be some common sense guidelines around gaming which there could be widespread agreement on. Introducing these topics in a controversial way as a fait accompli is what is done, because any discussion is "sea lioning" and they well know that if they dissent they'll be the next shouted down.
 

So the term "sea lion" is a way to shut down conversation sort of like the term "social justice warrior", only well, more so. You see, all these people who are really just trying to practice niceness, don't want to have a conversation. The point of the term is that anyone who doesn't see thing there way is actually a "sea lion" and once they've been corrected by them pointing out to you how good and noble their intentions are - like for example that this is intended to support "inclusivity" - if you refuse to agree with the plan, no matter how civil you are, no matter what reasons you offer, it's because your intentions are ignoble and you may be dismissed as a, well, a "sea lion". Clear now?

Now, for my part, I've made it perfectly clear I'm willing to discuss...

a) Emotional spillover, how to watch for it, what we should do about it, and so forth. It's not a new thing, it's a relevant topic of conversation, and we may have finally reached the point where we can talk about it without the majority of people claiming that I'm allied with B.A.D.D. and denying that there was anything to talk about because they could always separate fiction from reality. That would be great. Some times I feel like that advocate for the comic book code who has always been called a prude and now people are actually going, "Well, maybe he had a point." in a way that they would never actually come out and say. But if the a priori terms of that discussion have to be that I accept terms like "bleed", "alibi", and "magic circle" as constructive ways to think about emotional spillover and over identification and how to handle it, then you are definitely going to get pushback. In particular, there are some statements in the essay on "bleed" about "alibi" that strike me as just flat out validating the old sow about "I was just doing what my character would do" as if your person wasn't involved in that decision making. And ironically, the people insisting that I engage with emotional spillover in terms of "bleed" and "alibi" just a few months or years ago, came down far harder against "I was just doing what my character would do" as an alibi for bad behavior than even I do. But no, if the group has declared "bleed" and "alibi" protect the group, then all their former beliefs get tossed out the window and any critical thinking is me being a "sea lion". Because niceness. Or something.

b) Accommodating players feelings at the table, especially when there might be difficult topics at the table. Great topic. But if the in order to discuss it I first must publically profess that "X-Cards" and check lists of negative and affirmative consent are a great idea, and that we engage with that topic through veto and not communicating, and if you are not doing it that way you are some sort of heartless Nazi, then yes I'll push back and you'll just have to keep calling me a Nazi or a Sea Lion or whatever you think the nice thing to do is.

c) Social contracts, formal and informal, and whether it's always a good idea to formalize them and when and why. That might be a good conversation as well.

Again, the reason the "Sea Lion" thing has come out though is we aren't supposed to discuss this. We aren't supposed to push back against the group. The group, defined as the ones that matter and who get to make choices, have voted and this is the way we are doing things. And if you don't like it, and if you think it is a bad idea, then understand there is nothing you can do about it anyway. Because niceness.

You notice, we aren't actually having a discussion about those things. Ever. We are always arguing particulars with an unspoken eye on politics. Because this isn't about niceness or solving problems, it's about power and putting it to use. No body really wants to start with some first principles, stick to things that have to do with gaming, ask what your experiences are, find out if these things have been a problem for you, whether you've dealt with them in the past, find out what you think, whether they effect you or not, and what might be some common sense guidelines around gaming which there could be widespread agreement on. Introducing these topics in a controversial way as a fait accompli is what is done, because any discussion is "sea lioning" and they well know that if they dissent they'll be the next shouted down.
Wow. Thankyou for going to the trouble of this post. I was JUST about to ask if sea lion was a code word for something. It stuck out like a sore thumb and i suspected it might but i couldnt tell exactly what it was used for. Very helpful post as it goes on too. Thankyou. This is unfortunate.
 

@Panda-s1 : There are two things you should be aware of. First, that I never report anyone to the mods, so you are free to continue to be as insulting to me as you like. Secondly, that I see you there using the laugh button to express disapproval and mockery. Just out of curiosity, does this ever cause you to question where you are the nice one? I mean is it really a good look?
 


just cannot go on because its 5 sessions in, the campaign is planned out for 40+ sessions easily and its a massively undead involved campaign with the bbeg at the end being a vampire. This sounds silly but in recent years i could see it happening.
and somehow the only way this planned 40+ session campaign can be derailed is if someone can't handle blood. like, change the bbeg to a lich or skeleton or something if the inclusion of this player is so intrinsic to the campaign happening.

again, I can't begin to comprehend how this hypothetical DM would handle something as innocent as players going down the wrong hallway.

rubbing alcohol. Hah. Probably not. And your post could probably be considered a strawman at this point, but therr could be an application for it in some way, even though you are talking about something highly toxic to humans. Stranger things have happened.
you're the one who said the best cake is only possible when they are unconstrained, but okay a cake with a jar full of pickles. no, not mixed into the batter and baked, like I made a hole in the cake and literally just dump a jar of pickles into it and put frosting on it like a typical cake.
Ah. One can certainly alter something on the fly. But they shouldnt necessarily gave to. Also depending on how major it is you may not be a very great dm BECAUSE you are too wilking to just change it because someone flashed an x card. And thats actually way more likely than the other way around as you positioned it.
so the DM who can think on the fly and create a scenario that makes everyone happy is somehow not as good as the one who demands their story goes exactly as planned and will drop the game at the slightest possibility of altering something in the adventure, got it.
The grandma who had no idea there was violence was obviously not at a convention. Do not be absurd. She just had a grandson with some interests that were outside het wheel house so to speak.
I mean if you want to ignore the rest of what I said that's fine, but the point is the grandma not being okay with violence in the game is not analogous to a player at a convention not being okay with something like torture. reasonable expectations vs. unknowable surprises.
 

I was JUST about to ask if sea lion was a code word for something. It stuck out like a sore thumb and i suspected it might but i couldnt tell exactly what it was used for.
Based on a quick skim of this thread, I don't think anyone has linked the cartoon that coined the phrase yet. It's here:

 


@Panda-s1 : There are two things you should be aware of. First, that I never report anyone to the mods, so you are free to continue to be as insulting to me as you like. Secondly, that I see you there using the laugh button to express disapproval and mockery. Just out of curiosity, does this ever cause you to question where you are the nice one? I mean is it really a good look?
I mean, not a better look than ignoring questions and avoiding a conversation. you said this push for x-cards made you leery about the motivations behind it. after you didn't respond I brought it up again. though as far as I can tell you seem to think there's some group trying to ruin gaming as you know it forever, which seems a little silly.
 

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