RPG Evolution: When Gaming Bleeds

Monte Cook Games recently released Consent in Gaming, a sensitive topic that addresses subjects that make some players uncomfortable. Central to the understanding of why there's a debate at all involves the concept of "bleed" in role-play.

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Picture courtesy of Pixabay.​

Bleed Basics

Courtney Kraft explains bleed:
It’s a phenomenon where the emotions from a character affect the player out of the game and vice versa. Part of the joy of roleplay comes from diving into the fantasy of being something we’re not. When we play a character for a long time, it’s easy to get swept up in the highs of victorious battle and the lows of character death. When these feelings persist after the game is over, that’s when bleed occurs.
Bleed isn't inherently bad. Like actors in a movie, players sometimes draw on experiences to fuel their role-playing, consciously or subconsciously, and this bleed can happen organically. What's of concern in gaming is when bleed has detrimental consequences to the player.

Consent in Gaming explains the risks of negative bleed:
There’s nothing wrong with bleed—in fact, it’s part of the reason we play games. We want to be excited when our character is excited, to feel the loss when our characters do. However, bleed can cause negative experiences if not handled carefully. For example, maybe a character acted in a way that your character didn’t like, and it made you angry at the player too. Or maybe your character is flirting with another character, and you’re worried that it’s also making you have feelings for the player. It’s important to talk about these distinctions between characters and players early and often, before things take an unexpected turn.
There are several aspects that create bleed, and it's central to understanding why someone would need consent in a game at all. Bleed is a result of immersion, and the level of immersion dictates the social contract of how the game is played. This isn't limited to rules alone, but rests as much on the other players as it is on the subject matter.

One of the experiences that create bleed is a player's association with the game's subject matter. For some players, less realistic games (like Dungeons & Dragons) have a lower chance of the game's experiences bleeding into real life, because it's fantasy and not analogous to real life. Modern games might have the opposite effect, mirroring real life situations a player has experience with. There are plenty of players who feel otherwise of course, particularly those deeply involved in role-playing their characters for some time -- I've experienced bleed role-playing a character on a spaceship just as easily as a modern game.

The other element that can affect bleed is how the game is played. Storytelling games often encourage deeper emotional involvement from a player, while more gamist tabletop games create a situational remove from the character by their nature -- miniatures, tactical combat, and other logistics that are less about role-playing and more about tactics. Live Action Role-Playing games (LARPs) have the player physically inhabit their role and are thus provide more opportunities for bleed. Conversely, Massive Multi-Player Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs) might seem like they make bleed unlikely because the player is at a computer, experiencing the game through a virtual avatar -- and yet it can still happen. Players who play a game for a long time can experience more bleed than someone who just joined a game.

Dungeons & Dragons is a particular flashpoint for discussions of bleed, because while it is a fantasy game that can easily be played with disposable characters navigating a dungeon, it can also have surprisingly emotional depth and complexity -- as many live streams of tabletop play have demonstrated.

These two factors determine the "magic circle," where the reality of the world is replaced by the structure of another reality. The magic circle is not a magic wall -- it's porous, and players can easily have discussions about what's happening in the real world, make jokes derived from popular culture their characters would never know, or even just be influenced by their real life surroundings.

The deeper a player engages in the magic circle, the more immersed that player becomes. Governing the player's social contract within the magic circle is something Nordic LARP calls this "the alibi," in which the player accepts the premise that their actions don't reflect on them but rather their character:
Rather than playing a character who is very much like you (“close to home”), deliberately make character choices that separates the character from you and provides some differentiation. If your character has a very similar job to your ideal or actual job, find a reason for your character to change jobs. If your character has a very similar personality to you, find aspects of their personality that are different from yours to play up and focus on. Or play an alternate character that is deliberately “further from home”.

Bleeding Out

Where things get sticky is when real life circumstances apply to imaginary concepts. Bleed exists within the mind of each player but is influenced by the other players. It is fungible and can be highly personal. Additionally, what constitutes bleed can be an unconscious process. This isn't necessarily a problem -- after all, the rush of playing an awesome superhero can be a positive influence for someone who doesn't feel empowered in real life -- unless the bleed touches on negative subjects that makes the player uncomfortable. These psychological triggers are a form of "bleed-in," in which the player's psychology affects the character experience. Not all bleed moments are triggers, but they can be significantly distressing for players who have suffered some form of abuse or trauma.

Consent in Gaming attempts to address these issues by using a variety of tools to define the social contract. For players who are friends, those social contracts have likely been established over years through both in- and out-of-game experiences. But for players who are new to each other, social contracts can be difficult to determine up front, and tools like x-cards can go a long way in preventing misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Thanks to the increasing popularity of tabletop role-playing games, players are coming from more diverse backgrounds with a wide range of experiences. An influx of new players means those experiences will not always be compatible with established social contracts. The recent incident at the UK Gaming Expo, as reported by Darryl is an egregious example of what happens when a game master's expectations of what's appropriate for a "mature" game doesn't match the assumed social contract of players at the table.

This sort of social contract reinforcement can seem intrusive to gamers who have long-suffered from suspicion that they are out of touch with reality, or that if they play an evil character, they are evil (an allegation propagated during the Satanic Panic). This need to perform under a "cover" in their "real" life has made the entire concept of bleed and its associated risks a particularly sensitive topic of discussion.

X-cards and consent discussions may not be for everyone, but as we welcome new players with new experiences into the hobby, those tools will help us all negotiate the social contract that makes every game's magic circle a magical experience.
 

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Michael Tresca

Michael Tresca

I once had a player whos grandma (this is not to say there arent grandmas who have no problem with gore. I have a grandma who used to hunt every single year with my grandpa and they took a deer each every season until he passed away. Butchered them themselves too) wanted to play. But she didnt realize there was violence. When she realized this she realized my campaign wasnt for her. She wasnt offendes by this realization and everything was cool. Some games arent for everyone. Some campaigns arent either (when the issue isnt something as limiting as "OH NO! I HAVE TO FIGHT?"). This is why we need as many dms as possible. And for those dma there are lots of great methods for avoiding triggering players. But you sound irrational when you say all dms should play by that standard.

On a side note: I think the idea i saw a few posts back of making note passing common place to make the existance if x cards less ever present feeling is a good idea btw. Obviously this will still not work for some campaigns and some situations cant neatly be resolved immediately but that was a good idea. Masking it by group specific social norm. Clever.

Ps: after checking back to find the name again thankyou @Lanefan . the idea of making note passing a conspicuous social norm was yours. Good idea.
 

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Thas very obviously not my assertion. My assertion is that limiting the scope of ingredients limits the potential scope of the cake. And if you limit the ingredients enough you will probably end up with fewer and fewer ways to make exceptionally good cakes. Eggs being only one potential area for this problem to be contributed to by.

Gordan ramsay would shame you for missing my point right now. Lol.
okay so the best cake is the one that could possibly have an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol soaking in it.

if you can't possibly get around having to alter something in your game on the fly, you really aren't as great a GM as you might make yourself out to be. this really shouldn't be an argument.
I once had a player whos grandma (this is not to say there arent grandmas who have no problem with gore. I have a grandma who used to hunt every single year with my grandpa and they took a deer each every season until he passed away. Butchered them themselves too) wanted to play. But she didnt realize there was violence. When she realized this she realized my campaign wasnt for her. She wasnt offendes by this realization and everything was cool. Some games arent for everyone. Some campaigns arent either (when the issue isnt something as limiting as "OH NO! I HAVE TO FIGHT?"). This is why we need as many dms as possible. And for those dma there are lots of great methods for avoiding triggering players. But you sound irrational when you say all dms should play by that standard.
yes, because people going to a gaming convention won't possibly think that a D&D game might involve violence lol. it's reasonable to believe that any average player will think this, and also obvious that bill's tomb of the vampires adventure is probably gonna involve vampires and tombs, but there's no actual way for me to know this adventure will have a torture scene in it. hell, the adventure might be valley of the unicorns and obviously involve unicorns and valleys, but still no way for me to know there's going to be a torture scene in it (that apparently is so intrinsic to the story that removing it will somehow diminish the experience for people who enjoy torture).
 

Thank you, yes, exactly.

It's not wanting to be inconsiderate. It's that I believe the X-card and similar tools (especially a checklist...) is just not a good tool to address personal issues around the table. They might be necessary in certain environments, but again, if so, I would already question the general gaming culture and even the bigger social environment the game takes place in. Because yeah, commom courtesy and caring about the people you play with , even if you play together the first time goes a long way. As well as having, to be frank, a bit tougher skin and not treating every discomfort as the end of the world. That's obviously not the same as vividly describing sexual assault in a group you know contains a victim of one and expecting them to just toughen up. Just use common sense.

Anyway, I believe, if there's no healthy gaming environment, there's no x-card that would make up for it.

Also, some of the arguments around the x-card is just too reminiscent to the bigger social debates of recent years and I don't like the assumptions it implies frequently in these arguments.


On the other hand, one place I totally see the reason for having some kind of equivalent of an x-card is LARPS, where bodily contact is allowed, especially if the game is about things like vampires. That just has too many pitfalls and could (and likely would) go very wrong very fast without some kind of safety measure.
I just laughed myself silly when i realized the hilarious but also soul crushingly awful potential of a dm having to derail and entire campaign he lovingly spent a year or two crafting when he discovers someone has an irrational feer of blood and just cannot go on because its 5 sessions in, the campaign is planned out for 40+ sessions easily and its a massively undead involved campaign with the bbeg at the end being a vampire. This sounds silly but in recent years i could see it happening. Also i love vampires.
 
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I just laughed myself silly when i realized the hilarious but also soul crushingly awful potential of a dm having to derail and entire campaign he lovingly spent a year or two crafting when he discovers someone has an irrational feer of blood and just cannot go on. This sounds silly but in recent years i could see it happening. Also i love vampires.
why wouldn't he be able to go on?
 

okay so the best cake is the one that could possibly have an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol soaking in it.

if you can't possibly get around having to alter something in your game on the fly, you really aren't as great a GM as you might make yourself out to be. this really shouldn't be an argument.

yes, because people going to a gaming convention won't possibly think that a D&D game might involve violence lol. it's reasonable to believe that any average player will think this, and also obvious that bill's tomb of the vampires adventure is probably gonna involve vampires and tombs, but there's no actual way for me to know this adventure will have a torture scene in it. hell, the adventure might be valley of the unicorns and obviously involve unicorns and valleys, but still no way for me to know there's going to be a torture scene in it (that apparently is so intrinsic to the story that removing it will somehow diminish the experience for people who enjoy torture).
rubbing alcohol. Hah. Probably not. And your post could probably be considered a strawman at this point, but therr could be an application for it in some way, even though you are talking about something highly toxic to humans. Stranger things have happened.

Ah. One can certainly alter something on the fly. But they shouldnt necessarily gave to. Also depending on how major it is you may not be a very great dm BECAUSE you are too wilking to just change it because someone flashed an x card. And thats actually way more likely than the other way around as you positioned it.

The grandma who had no idea there was violence was obviously not at a convention. Do not be absurd. She just had a grandson with some interests that were outside het wheel house so to speak.
 
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I love Gordon Ramsay as much as the next person (his Hell's Kitchen restaurant at the Caesar in Las Vegas? Surprisingly good!), but I am not sure that he is the best person to invoke in a conversation about mutual respect and compassion. Jus' sayin'.

Since it's necessary-


(As with must things involving or referencing GR, NSFW!)
For that particular part of the conversation mutual respect and compassion was pretty explicitly irrelevant as what was beung talked about was not that. It wasnt my point in that exact moment. I was addressing various things including mutual respect and compassion. But not mutual respect and conpassion with that exact point.

The gordan ramsay point seems ti stand pretty well if you acknowledge that.
 


The player tells me.

Okay. So, here's the thing that may have gotten missed - if a player tells you to stop something, an extremely common response is to ask, "Why?" and enter into a dialog.

A major point of the X-card is to avoid that question. After all, this was not designed for someone with a mild dislike of a thing to edit content. It was designed to give you a way to get feedback from people for whom the issue is extremely personal, traumatizing, outright terrifying, or the like, in addition to those details not actually being any of our business.

Asking a person on the verge of, say, an actual and honest panic attack to verbalize the details of their issue is usually contraindicated. It forces them to continue to face the concepts that are causing them extreme distress, and is apt to drive them deeper into the problem, rather than give them an escape hatch.

There are a few out there these days who have decided that they are goig to be 100% open about their issues, and you can have a conversation like this:

"Please stop."
"Why? What's the problem?"
"Right now, you, playing this NPC, happen to have an uncanny resemblance to my rapist."

But a lot of GMs are not ready to handle conversations like that, and how to handle them is outside the purview of an RPG supplement. Nor is this a conversation that could reasonably be expected to be avoided by prior discussion - nobody would be able to know what you'd remind the player of until that moment.
 

So again I experience something, that has hit me for several times while being active on forums.:

People twist words, rip a sentence out of its content and shape it to the meaning they want to have for their own point of view, that is only serving one purpose:

To insult, start trouble and at the same time trying to impose their views as the only legitimate.

Sorry I thought, that it is possible to discuss even controversial subjects besides what is the best class combination, if skills, feats etc. are overpowered and anything directly game related on this forum.

But again it turns out, that such discussions are basically not possible and therefore the best way is to step back and try to delet that account. Thanks all for this flashback into memory lane and have a nice and healthy life.

Thank you for your attention.
 

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