D&D General No two people ever seem to play D&D the same way, but we can usually find people to play with anyway.

[el-remmen]

Reading these forums (esp. after something like 12 year break from them) often makes me feel like I just don't understand how other people play D&D. Their concerns and experiences are often not my concerns or experiences - often threads offer solutions to things that have never been a problem at my table (even if in theory I can sometimes imagine they could be, arguing about their solution seems to take a lot more energy and be a lot less productive than simply solving it yourself) or they bring up edge case problems that a quick table ruling will handle and allow the game to go on rather than trying to argue a definitive way to handle it.

It is a weird feeling to simultaneously feel so adrift from so many other people in the hobby (and sense that they are adrift from each other), while also running two great games with separate groups and D&D itself is more popular than it has ever been, meaning countless people are finding ways to play together and not let those differences get in the way of having fun.

Anyway, I guess the topic I am bringing up for discussion is if the boards and the people who tend to frequent them have a warping effect on viewing the game and game style/approach and its players. ENworld is the only online gaming community I am a part of, so as far as I know they are all like that (or worse - this board at least has moderation). I am not claiming to have never met up in real life with other D&Ders whose approach to the game was totally at odds with how I like to play/run, but those cases have been rare, sometimes people are willing to at least try another style, and unlike on an internet community, assuming we're not already friends, I never have to interact with that person again (if we can't come to an accord) and if we are already friends we can hang out and do other things besides play D&D together.

 

[Arilyn]

I think it's because it is a discussion board. We are probably (I hope) more flexible than it seems. I'm sure I have disagreed with many posters that I'd happily game with. The really heated arguments occur over misunderstandings, and more commonly the strong desire we all have to be proven right. And if we can frame an argument just so, everyone will see we are right too. And stubborness, let's not forget stubborness!

 

[Mistwell]

Can you give some examples? I am not sure if you're talking about tone of play, or things people do which are rude to other people, or rules questions, or what?

If you're talking more about rules I think people generally do rule it on the fly. And then they come here sometimes later to really try and drill down on the rules and debate it and figure it out so that if it ever comes up again their quick answer will be more "right" according to the rules.

For rude people, I don't think that's too common, and when it does come up there isn't a whole lot you can do.

And for tone of play: I do think people are willing to try different tones, provided they like the people they are playing with?

 

[el-remmen]

Can you give some examples? I am not sure if you're talking about tone of play, or things people do which are rude to other people, or rules questions, or what?

If you're talking more about rules I think people generally do rule it on the fly. And then they come here sometimes later to really try and drill down on the rules and debate it and figure it out so that if it ever comes up again their quick answer will be more "right" according to the rules.

For rude people, I don't think that's too common, and when it does come up there isn't a whole lot you can do.

And for tone of play: I do think people are willing to try different tones, provided they like the people they are playing with?

I meant rules and then perhaps tone. As for the social element of the game that does come up a lot too - but as you say, there is not much to be done about that except play with better people.

I guess, I am referring more to posts/replies that seem to make a general assumption about how the game is played (or should be played) or the utility or "fun" of how some iteration of the rules based on solely on a niche experience or a "white-room" look at the rules.

I stayed away from specific examples because the point of this thread is not argue against or about certain posters or their approaches, but think about the disparity the thread title alludes to.

 

[loverdrive]

Well, for the same reason people who pray on Scala and Haskell (like I do), probably write in JavaScript anyway. Discussions are different from practice, but both are still valuable. In discussions we discuss best practices, while in reality, well, we struggle with reality.

There's no much point in discussing the way things are right now, but there's a lot more point in discussing how thigs should be done.

 

[Charlaquin]

I think it's because it is a discussion board. We are probably (I hope) more flexible than it seems. I'm sure I have disagreed with many posters that I'd happily game with.

100%. I’ve had many occasions when discussing D&D with folks in real life, something has come up that I know would spark a very lengthy, probably heated discussion if it were said on a forum, but has no such effect in-person. Part of this is the whole perceived anonymity thing. Part of it is the general culture of forums. And part of it is the fact that, by nature of coming to a discussion forum, you are explicitly seeking out that kind of interaction, whereas in real life there’s no such expectation that you’re open to such debate just because the subject of D&D came up.

 

[Mistwell]

I meant rules and then perhaps tone...I guess, I am referring more to posts/replies that seem to make a general assumption about how the game is played (or should be played) or the utility or "fun" of how some iteration of the rules based on solely on a niche experience or a "white-room" look at the rules.

Oh! Well yeah, that's just the internet and nature of a rules-focused forum here. I don't think most of that is an actual issue for people in a game. A lot of people enjoy discussing rules, because they are by nature fans of playing games and that's sort of like another game. Some people have no game to play right now, so they talk about different aspects of the game as a substitute for playing right now. But I think a lot of these things are non-issues for games being played. Your game is probably pretty similar to theirs, in practice

 

[DemoMonkey]

The problem is that not enough people have been exposed to the way that I play D&D, which is the One and Only True Way To Play. That's why there is so much confusion and dissent!













Also the fact that people like to take extreme and controversial positions to make discussions interesting.

 

[ignu]

Find it weird people are disagreeing with the premise.

There are radically different ways people like role-playing games or even Dungeons and Dragons, and it doesn't make one of them better.

There are people who could go on an hour long discussion in character without progressing the plot one beat and have it be the best session of their lives. The player who just wants to roll dice and fight things would be having the worst session of their life. They might never want to RP and just fight things all session. Some people like exploring, some like collecting, some like sitting back and hearing the story.

Game design people describe 8 types of fun

Game Design: 8 kinds of fun ★★★★★

A game is a set of rules that determines what the players involved can and can not do. So how to you make a set of rules into something that is "fun"? This is w...

www.construct.net

Gaming for Fun (Part 1): Eight Kinds of Fun

Every player and game master sits down to the table for a different reason. Or a different combination of reasons. And understanding the reason why people play is the key to get them to keep coming…

theangrygm.com

I think it's really important to recognize these different traits, especially if you're a DM. When you describe your game, make sure you let players know what type of play to expect.

If you're a challenge oriented player, that doesn't make a game that has a lot of RP "bad" but it's probably not for you.

 

[payn]

Gaming is a group activity and will always require some level of understanding and compromise. In my groups, I tend to be the only one who spends any appreciable time online discussing the game. Most folks just look at new products and find people to play with. Im sure, the hardcores online do have a warping effect on the game, but its likely less of an issue than the internets make it seem.