HaroldTheHobbit
Hero
I understand your problem, even though I don't share it. For me and my group the game goes from roleplaying to roleplaying+tactical gaming when combat starts. The fiction is there (if you want it and work for it), but there is also the gamey mechanical aspect.
And in my opinion that duality is built-in in D&D. Trying to tweak the system to be something else is trying to fit a square peg in the round D&D hole. As others have written, there are lots of system that may have a combat resolution that fits you better. But in my opinion, being able to apply a fictional roleplaying layer above the combat mechanics is kind of required if you want to have fun with D&D.
And in my opinion that duality is built-in in D&D. Trying to tweak the system to be something else is trying to fit a square peg in the round D&D hole. As others have written, there are lots of system that may have a combat resolution that fits you better. But in my opinion, being able to apply a fictional roleplaying layer above the combat mechanics is kind of required if you want to have fun with D&D.