D&D 5E Being strong and skilled is a magic of its own or, how I learned to stop worrying and love anime fightin' magic

[Vaalingrade]

That's just it. Conan of the Howard books certainly didn't. Everything he did was within the trope of "peak human athletic ability".

He shattered a dude's arm by squeezing one-handed.

 

[Haplo781]

He shattered a dude's arm by squeezing one-handed.

Was that dude Mr. Glass from Unbreakable?

 

[Cadence]

He shattered a dude's arm by squeezing one-handed.

Doesn't a single punch from a mid level fighter pretty much auto-kill a common human in 5e?

 

[Vaalingrade]

Why would I appreciate something that's objectively false?

Because it's not?

Arnold couldn't shrug off a spell because he's indomitable.

Please cast a spell at Arnold to check.

Arnold couldn't leap 26 feet without trying, farther with a roll.

I need to see how you got 26. They fixed jump a little, IIRC, but not by that much.

Arnold couldn't restore hit points to himself due to being a survivor.

Shrugging off fatigue is what all humans do, not just him.

Arnold couldn't use any of the battle master maneuvers.

Arnold can't Ambush people, brace for impact, tell someone to hit a dude, look awesome, disarm someone, be distracting, feint, taunt, extend his arm a little, be menacing, put a blade in front of another blade, aim, throw things, or trip someone?

Arnold can't action surge.

He can't hit someone twice in quick succession?

I'm... not talking about the football headed kid. I'm talking about the guy whose bronze statue for being big and/or strong out front of where I go to cons for people who apparently think he can't operate heavy sticks.

 

[Vaalingrade]

Doesn't a single punch from a mid level fighter pretty much auto-kill a common human in 5e?

He grabbed and squeezed. With ne hand. No punch, no chop. Squeeze.

 

[Cadence]

He grabbed and squeezed. With ne hand. No punch, no chop. Squeeze.

I mean, I'm guessing no one thought of putting a rule in D&D for.squeezing an arm to break it? (You've played D&D before, right, the game that abstracts all damage to these things called hit points that naps can let you recover?). If you really want "one armed painfully immobilizing squeeze" as a combat maneuver we can probably come up with a rule for it. Not sure it would be your most effective combat option.

 

[Vaalingrade]

So the highest-rated fighter is a guy whose crowning achievement... Was managing to land 7 hits on the boss before getting killed?

No wonder martials can't have nice things in this game.

Greater than Gilgamesh, pretty much the source of all warrior archetypes.

It's like citing the Lion King as the greatest original script ever written and putting Hamlet in at #8

 

[Maxperson]

Please cast a spell at Arnold to check.

Exactly! In order to be capable of a skill like that, you have to be able to practice it.

I need to see how you got 26. They fixed jump a little, IIRC, but not by that much.

20 for strength. 6 for proficiency at 20th level with Remarkable Athlete.

Shrugging off fatigue is what all humans do, not just him.

Fighters shrug off more than fatigue.

Arnold can't Ambush people, brace for impact, tell someone to hit a dude, look awesome, disarm someone, be distracting, feint, taunt, extend his arm a little, be menacing, put a blade in front of another blade, aim, throw things, or trip someone?

No. Not like a Battle Master. Can he do the mediocre action versions in the attack section? Probably not. He's an actor who PLAYS fighters, not a fighter.

He can't hit someone twice in quick succession?

8 times, not twice. And not nearly as effectively, not being a fighter and all. And certainly not while also while moving 60 feet.

 

[Vaalingrade]

I mean, I'm guessing no one thought of putting a rule in D&D for.squeezing an arm to break it? (You've played D&D before, right, the game that abstracts all damage to these things called hit points that naps can let you recover?). If you really want "one armed painfully immobilizing squeeze" as a combat maneuver we can probably come up with a rule for it. Not sure it would be your most effective combat option.

You know what?

At least it would be something. As long as I can do it more than once a freaking hour.

 

[Maxperson]

I'm... not talking about the football headed kid.