Emoshin
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
That's interesting. I think criticism without goal-awareness is deeply problematic.It is what is being called for in this thread. That criticism not be so harsh.
But to be critical, we have to be able to examine something and acknowledge its flaws and shortcomings. We have to be able to hear things that maybe we'd prefer not to hear, or draw conclusions we'd prefer not to draw.
That's fundamental to criticism. Calling for that to be removed or lessened is antithetical to criticism.
Like you criticize your best friend because their behavior is bothering you AND your goal is to have a good friendship. Unfortunately, your criticism is so harsh, that your friendship is severely degraded or lost entirely. Now you will never know: did you lose your friendship because you were overly critical and inconsiderate, or did you lose your friendship because you did your best and still they kept up that behavior? You will never know and have to live with that regret.
The only way to really track your goal of having a good friendship is to be able to talk about your friend's behavior without being so harsh.