Thomas Shey
Legend
I’ve had many exchanges where I talk about the way I rule something in the game, and someone asks “why rule that way instead of this other way that I think is more realistic?” to which I’ll answer that I think my way creates a better gameplay experience, and they’ll respond that they care more about “simulationism,” or “immersion” or “verisimilitude” or some other such phrase over “gamism”. I think that’s the kind of thing OP is getting at.
I think what’s really happening there is not that my interlocutor actually rejects the notion of D&D being a game, nor that they don’t think the gameplay experience is important. Rather, they have different gameplay aesthetic preferences than I do, and are perhaps trying to express that using vaguely-defined D&D-forum-jargon.
I think you're being somewhat over-generous. Some people do seem to consider the gameplay elements of an RPG a necessary evil. You could say what they want is still a "game" but its only in the most broad meaning of the term.