pukunui
Legend
Hi all,
You might know that while I DM for several groups, I also play in one. I’ve been playing with this group for about 14 years, though it’s gone through a lot of changes. When I first joined, the DM was very focused on the game with minimal socializing and good time management. Over the past few years (since COVID really), the sessions have morphed into craft beer-tasting events with a lot of chaotic side chatter, and the game itself feels secondary.
I don’t drink beer, so I don’t find the whole beer-tasting thing fun, but I've been able to put up with it because the game itself was still fun. Lately, it’s become harder to focus because the more the others drink, the louder and more excitable (and more off-topic) they get. Sessions often start late now and sometimes run way over, which is frustrating, especially since it's always been a midweek game not a weekend one. I was on hiatus from the group for a while and only recently rejoined when the DM started a new, short campaign to teach a newbie the ropes. The past few sessions — last night's especially — have driven home the disconnect between what I want and enjoy vs what the rest of the group wants and enjoys. (And unfortunately for me, the newbie is as much into craft beers as the rest of them are!)
I’ve brought up other concerns with my DM before, like when I mentioned not wanting to start at 1st level all the time, and his response was just, “Can’t please everybody.” He insists that 1st level "is where the fun is" and won't ever consider higher level starts. Therefore, when I talk to him about the current vibe, I’m half-expecting a similar dismissal, maybe even a “don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
I also invited the DM to sit in as a guest player in my long-running Mad Mage campaign recently. Based on past experience, I figured it would be all right. Was I ever wrong about that! One of my regular players had joined us remotely that evening, and hybrid games are always kinda awkward, but that player ended up signing off early in disgust because he was having such a hard time hearing me because the other DM kept talking over me (about beers, movies, and whatever else came to his mind). He doesn't seem to mind that "alpha male talking over each other" mentality when he DMs, but I really don't appreciate it when I'm the DM, and my regular players know this.
The thing is, I’ve been with this DM's group so long that leaving feels tough. But at the same time, I feel like it might be the right decision because I’m not enjoying the game the way I used to, and it seems the group’s focus is just in a different place than mine is now. As the outlier, I feel like it's time to move on. That being said, the DM plans to run a 2024 PHB only game next, and I would like to give that a try (especially since I am holding off on fully switching to the revised rules for the games I'm DMing).
Anyway, I’m kind of venting here, but if anyone’s dealt with something similar or has advice, I’d love to hear it. I can really see the appeal of an AI DM, as that would enable me to play the way I want to without having to be the DM myself!
You might know that while I DM for several groups, I also play in one. I’ve been playing with this group for about 14 years, though it’s gone through a lot of changes. When I first joined, the DM was very focused on the game with minimal socializing and good time management. Over the past few years (since COVID really), the sessions have morphed into craft beer-tasting events with a lot of chaotic side chatter, and the game itself feels secondary.
I don’t drink beer, so I don’t find the whole beer-tasting thing fun, but I've been able to put up with it because the game itself was still fun. Lately, it’s become harder to focus because the more the others drink, the louder and more excitable (and more off-topic) they get. Sessions often start late now and sometimes run way over, which is frustrating, especially since it's always been a midweek game not a weekend one. I was on hiatus from the group for a while and only recently rejoined when the DM started a new, short campaign to teach a newbie the ropes. The past few sessions — last night's especially — have driven home the disconnect between what I want and enjoy vs what the rest of the group wants and enjoys. (And unfortunately for me, the newbie is as much into craft beers as the rest of them are!)
I’ve brought up other concerns with my DM before, like when I mentioned not wanting to start at 1st level all the time, and his response was just, “Can’t please everybody.” He insists that 1st level "is where the fun is" and won't ever consider higher level starts. Therefore, when I talk to him about the current vibe, I’m half-expecting a similar dismissal, maybe even a “don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
I also invited the DM to sit in as a guest player in my long-running Mad Mage campaign recently. Based on past experience, I figured it would be all right. Was I ever wrong about that! One of my regular players had joined us remotely that evening, and hybrid games are always kinda awkward, but that player ended up signing off early in disgust because he was having such a hard time hearing me because the other DM kept talking over me (about beers, movies, and whatever else came to his mind). He doesn't seem to mind that "alpha male talking over each other" mentality when he DMs, but I really don't appreciate it when I'm the DM, and my regular players know this.
The thing is, I’ve been with this DM's group so long that leaving feels tough. But at the same time, I feel like it might be the right decision because I’m not enjoying the game the way I used to, and it seems the group’s focus is just in a different place than mine is now. As the outlier, I feel like it's time to move on. That being said, the DM plans to run a 2024 PHB only game next, and I would like to give that a try (especially since I am holding off on fully switching to the revised rules for the games I'm DMing).
Anyway, I’m kind of venting here, but if anyone’s dealt with something similar or has advice, I’d love to hear it. I can really see the appeal of an AI DM, as that would enable me to play the way I want to without having to be the DM myself!
