D&D General Gaming Group Advice

[sevenbastard]

14 years is a long time, but if it's not working then it shouldn't hold you back. People change. If it's not fun it's not fun.

You deserve to have fun and it's better to go without for a bit to eventually find a group that fits your vibe.

 

[R_J_K75]

You deserve to have fun and it's better to go without for a bit to eventually find a group that fits your vibe.

I started playing D&D on 1982, and I've had spells where I didn't play, played in multiple games and I can't even count how many people I've played with over the years. One thing that is constant, is that I always stumble upon a new group eventually. So, I don't think leaving this group is a gaming/playing death sentence.

 

[pukunui]

I started playing D&D on 1982, and I've had spells where I didn't play, played in multiple games and I can't even count how many people I've played with over the years. One thing that is constant, is that I always stumble upon a new group eventually. So, I don't think leaving this group is a gaming/playing death sentence.

Oh, I don't think so either. I'm sure I'll find another group eventually. As I said at the outset, this was as much a chance for me to vent as anything else.

 

[payn]

Sometimes you are the outlier and all you can do is politely excuse yourself. Though, I've found myself being a ble to temper my experience in such a situation to try out a ruleset, keep in touch with friends, etc... Done both, it usually works out as it works out. 14 years is a good run.

 

[jayoungr]

The thing is, I’ve been with this DM's group so long that leaving feels tough. But at the same time, I feel like it might be the right decision because I’m not enjoying the game the way I used to, and it seems the group’s focus is just in a different place than mine is now. As the outlier, I feel like it's time to move on.

You don't have to burn your bridges. Just say you need to bow out for an unspecified amount of time. It might turn into forever, or something could happen to get the group back on track. You'll keep your options open.

That being said, the DM plans to run a 2024 PHB only game next, and I would like to give that a try (especially since I am holding off on fully switching to the revised rules for the games I'm DMing).

I don't think it's worth sticking around for this. The fact that you really want to play the game will just make you more frustrated that they're just wasting time drinking beer.

The idea of finding an all-new group of people to play with is intimidating. It seems like it's now time to take the plunge!

I would think the start of a new ruleset would be a good time to start fresh with a new group. You can all learn together. Plus the new books might lead to some shakeups at other tables, so it could be pretty easy to find a seat at a table.

 

[pukunui]

You don't have to burn your bridges. Just say you need to bow out for an unspecified amount of time. It might turn into forever, or something could happen to get the group back on track. You'll keep your options open.


I don't think it's worth sticking around for this. The fact that you really want to play the game will just make you more frustrated that they're just wasting time drinking beer.


I would think the start of a new ruleset would be a good time to start fresh with a new group. You can all learn together. Plus the new books might lead to some shakeups at other tables, so it could be pretty easy to find a seat at a table.

Those are all excellent points. Thank you!

 

[Zardnaar]

Looks like I'm also starting a new group not sure about the old one. Relevant players are in the other ones anyway.

Probably run ones shots and short games until decisions are made on 5E 2024. Kinda over 5E up to a point. Think my limit for editions us around 10 years. 3.X got sick of it similar time frame.

 

[GrimCo]

I happens. After 14 years, people go from strangers to friends, or at least very good acquaintances. It's old- came for the game, stayed for the people. My gaming group started that way 17 years ago. We formed to play games. Gradually we started to hang out outside of games. These days, d&d is excuse to get together once a week and hang out. Social aspect comes first, gaming comes second. There are sessions when we don't even play, we just talk. But we, as a group, had talk about what we want out of gaming, and for all of us, hanging out and seeing each other comes first, playing game comes second. We aren't gaming group. We are friend group that also plays d&d.

Don't burn bridges, specially if you like them as a people ( and 14 years is damn long time to hang around people you don't like). Instead of treating it as a game night, treat it as hangout time. Be honest and open about it with DM. Say to him that you don't enjoy that focus has switched from gaming to socializing and aren't into committing your time regularly to that kind of game night, but, if you like to hang out with them, you would be ok for occasional session.

 

[aco175]

There may be some of the players in the group looking to play more like yourself. Maybe grab them for another night?

Another thought I run into is starting on time. People show up and chat for the first 1/2 hour before starting, so maybe ask to show up 1/2 hour earlier to make room to chat.

Maybe have one of the drinkers take a lead and focus on only one beer each week to try and discuss. Make it a mini-game to grade and scale tastes each week for the other players. It might speed up drink tasting and move on to gaming.

 

[el-remmen]

Gaming group dynamics can be hard.

I really don't have advice, as I have never been the kind of person to "go along" and if I am not having fun, I am fine bowing out politely until something changes, but remaining friendly with the folks in the group.

This post does make me happy that while my in-person gaming group only plays about once a month, we are pretty focused at the table, since we get together several times a month (with spouses and other friends) for other kinds of socializing (restaurant, bar, grilling, etc) and (board) gaming - so we have plenty of time for other kinds of fun and it doesn't creep into D&D time.