Here's the problem: HAD vs. HAVE. The backstory, building your PC before you play, etc. is the HAD. You as a player get to decide most, if not all, of that. There are certainly games out there with random PC generation in more aspects (race, background, ability scores, even class) but since people generally want to play some concept they have in mind, these aren't as popular and usually just for a lark or something.
Obviously were are talking fantasy here, so I expect many experiences in the game that aren't mapped to real life, but by keeping all those that can be mapped to real life as close as possible, it allows me to feel more like I am in the game.
When you begin play, it is the HAVE, your HAD time is over for the most part. Now your choices have consequences you have no control over. And shouldn't IMO. This is where the dice come in...
Except that it's also experiences you HAVE. As in, YOU decide whether you feel terrified or galvanized by a horrible event. Again: that is YOU, the PLAYER, declaring what the CHARACTER does or thinks or feels or believes. That choice
cannot even in principle be rooted in the character, because no character has the ability to sit for five minutes and think about whether they WANT to be terrified or galvanized.
IRL if I go to climb a cliff, I don't just "get to decide" that I climb the cliff. I have to actually try it. My skill, the conditions, etc. are all factors that will go into whether or not I climb it in the end. I might get to tired, I might get injured, etc. and have to climb back down. I might even fall!!!
In RPGs, this is where the dice come in. The dice determine the outcome most of the time--and easily could be ALL of the time. Certainly factors such as skill, features in the game, etc. can impact the results and we have the choice in those to a point, but that is as far as it goes.
So....you've....just described something where
you don't get to decide it IRL....but you DO get to decide it in-game...?
This conflicts with everything you've just said.
No real risk, no real chance of ultimate failure because you know what--you cannot die.
This is, as it has always been, categorically false.
Death is not the only form of real risk. Death is not the only form of "ultimate failure."
If you don't think it is possible to survive while also experiencing ultimate failure, I honestly don't know what to tell you. Many, many, many, MANY people throughout history have survived their experiences of ultimate failure, where death
would have been more successful. I frankly find it a bit hard to believe that you don't know of a single instance of something like this.
Some groups like the "survival" aspect of the game, tracking food, water, and ammo. Others handwave it away and don't worry about it.
Yes...but the rules themselves fight against you about it. Spells that obviate every part of actually surviving--food, water, shelter--are available as early as level 1, or occasionally level 3 or 5 for the particularly hefty stuff.
Create food and water nixes literally any form of sustenance-based survival mechanics permanently once you have a 5th level Cleric (or particular flavors of Druid or Warlock, or 9th level Paladin/Artificer).
Create water is a 1st level Cleric spell, and can be acquired through a variety of other means (and it was also a Druid spell in 5.0, but it seems to have been removed in 5.5e).
5th edition D&D is not, has never been, and will not ever be particularly supportive of this playstyle. I consider this a damn shame, because, just as you say, some groups love this stuff.
I don't generally love it, but I'm on record arguing for many things I don't personally have any interest in, but which I think absolutely need to be supported.
As I posted, I use the guidelines to great success and have done so for the near six years I've been playing 5E. The issue is more the guideliens don't fit your style of play, which makes them useless to you, and maybe in the new DMG they will address the more 4E style of play option and present guidelines for that.
RE the bolded bit: That'll be the day.
GM vs. players? Really? Who? Even the most "aggresive DM" on these boards has never stated anything like that IME.
I've seen it from several. I named some names above. I don't have the energy to go trawling for quotes, but I guarantee you it's something I've seen over and over on this forum.
Stridently anti-player DMs are active participants on these boards.
@bloodtide would be another example.