D&D General Game Night Is Well Catered With These Official D&D Meat Sticks

The world of Dungeons & Dragons merchandising can be surprising. Of course, there's the usual plushies and stationery and Lego, but just last month we were talking about Dragon's Milk, the new official beer and whiskey, while today we're looking at official D&D meat.

Mythical Meats has launched an Adventurer's Ration Variety Pack. The company produces... well, meat. Meat snacks, specifically, in the form of meat sticks. For this venture, there are 12 different sticks, each themed after a D&D character class.

• Barbarian: Sriracha Flavored Duck with Beef & Chicken Stick
• Bard: Buffalo Style Chicken with Beef Stick
• Cleric: Hawaiian Style Teriyaki Wild Boar with Beef Stick
• Druid: Honey BBQ Style Turkey with Beef Stick
• Fighter: Jalapeno Elk with Beef Stick
• Monk: Sweet and Spicy Beef and Buffalo Stick
• Paladin: BBQ Style Camel with Beef Stick
• Ranger: Hickory Smoked Venison with Beef Stick
• Rogue: Slow Burn Alligator with Beef and Pork Stick
• Sorcerer: Habanero BBQ Snack Stick
• Warlock: Honey Ham Pork Stick
• Wizard: Chipotle and Garlic Beef with Yak Stick

Sadly, there's no actually mythical meats like beholder, dragon, or griffon sticks; but if you like a bit of duck, beef, turkey, or ham, Mythical Meats has you covered with some non-mythical meats. Cows are real, right?

At the time of posting, the product page tells me that there are no products in the Dungeons & Dragons collection, but looking at some of the other offerings on the site it looks like a set will cost around around $75.

So, a D&D meat stick washed down with a D&D stout ... it looks like game nights are fully catered for!

 

[DarkCrisis]

I've got a spicy meat stick for you.

Spoiler

It's Jack Links. Their stuff is delicious. Love the Peppered.

 

[Tales and Chronicles]

Let's be honest, the actual quantity of these novelty meats in those products is probably quite minimal. Its just a beef-jerky stick, and even the beef part would probably deserve a '' ''.

and horse meat is common here in Canada (ok...the French part of it), its pretty popular for those who really need to check the amount of fat they ingest, for health or athletic reasons. I personally find it pretty dry and tasteless, though.

 

[Alzrius]

Let's be honest, the actual quantity of these novelty meats in those products is probably quite minimal.

For a moment, I thought you said quality, rather than quantity. Then I realized the statement would hold true either way.

 

[doctorhook]

I have no specific objections to D&D meat sticks, but I find this whole concept pretty absurd. “License everything” is this hobby now.

 

[MGibster]

I have no specific objections to D&D meat sticks, but I find this whole concept pretty absurd. “License everything” is this hobby now.

I don't object to them either as you cannot have a D&D game without meat sticks. Wait, what do you call your players?

 

[MGibster]

They have specialized horse meat butcher shops in Germany too.

I once had a discussion with a New Zealander who didn't believe me when I told him salami in the United States wasn't made from horse meat. While horse meat wasn't illegal here, at the time there were no commercial meat processors who were authorized to butcher horses.

I love meat sticks, but I don't love all flavors, and these packages tend to be all over the place, so you're guaranteed to get a few you don't like.

As another poster said, these type of meat sticks tend to be cheap and most of them really don't taste very good. If you want something good, go with Bavarian Meats (a company) landjagers. They're fantastic.

I have no specific objections to D&D meat sticks, but I find this whole concept pretty absurd. “License everything” is this hobby now.

Are you old enough to remember all the licensed products that had D&D's logo slapped on it during the 1980s?

 

[CleverNickName]

Missed opportunity: they should have named these snacks after D&D Creatures, not Classes.

Habanero BBQ could be "Dragon Meat," for example. Smoked venison could be "centaur." Etc.

 

[aco175]

 

[Vaalingrade]

Missed opportunity to collab with Bad Dragon >_>

 

[Mistwell]

People keep claiming monetizing D&D means microtransactions.

This is what it really means.