Interpreting this as actual rejections of those values is the real problem, since that interpretation is almost always wrong.
Whilst I broadly agree with what you're saying, there is an issue in that whilst you say "almost always wrong", it's not actually always wrong, and I think "almost always" is probably a slight overstatement. More like "usually wrong".
Also the degree to which people endorse the underlying colonialist violence of typical D&D-like "kill them and take their stuff"-style play really varies. I think there's actually quite a lot of "soft endorsement" out there, like, maybe as many as 20% of people who play don't really believe that in the sense of applying it to the real world normally, but definitely are kind of soft on that idea, and basically selectively support colonialist violence, even whilst perhaps paying lip-service to the idea that its bad. Further, there's like, 5%, in my experience, who absolutely do think the colonialist violence is the point and a good thing. That figure used to be hugely higher. Gary Gygax, for example, absolutely 100%, even in the 2000s, thought brutal colonialist violence and even genocide was right in-game and used RL examples for why it was (!!! perhaps not too surprising for a man who was a Kentucky Colonel in the 1970s, they only cleaned up their act relatively recently).
D&D is a game founded in colonialist violence, and again, whilst I agree that's not really why like, the vast majority of people play it, I think it's a bit too easy to sweep it under the rug.
Content isn’t message. You can enjoy cathartic violence on screen or in a game and be a pacifist in life. I don’t believe in using violence to solve conflict in life but I love mafia movies, Kung fu and Wuxia, other violent action films and violence in my RPGs. I was raised by a pacifist who could enjoy a movie like Aliens or Pulp Fiction.
Aliens doesn't conflict with pacificism in any way I can see. Pulp Fiction only lightly, given the people are supposed terrible criminals, not role models or heroes.
More telling would be something like Black Hawk Down or Zero Dark Thirty or even, away from real-world-based events, something like Extraction. I would be pretty surprised if a committed pacificist enjoyed any of those very much. I'm not saying I'd judge them or that it's "not allowed", just that I'd be surprised.
And whilst I agree that content isn't inherently message, I do think there is a bit of an issue, historically, with D&D being rooted in endorsing brutal colonialist violence, and moving away from that to er, violence that isn't colonial and/or doesn't seem colonial is probably a good thing.
It's also good we're seeing more RPGs move away from violence entirely, but obviously D&D's whole deal isn't that, nor does it need to be.