Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[Ryujin]

True, NC is fast, I have driven there to the coast coming down through Asheville, at least the roads are smooth. I have a 4x4 truck, and the stabilitrak-traction control has noped out on some stretches of the freeway here.

It's pretty telling that they have either 105 or 110 octane gas at the pumps, if I remember correctly, as well.

 

[dragoner]

It's pretty telling that they have either 105 or 110 octane gas at the pumps, if I remember correctly, as well.

It is weird going downhill for hundreds of miles. Missouri is like that too, heading to Cairo, Illinois, with the extra added joy of having cross streets that cross 57. Don't get me wrong, I love driving across the US, it can get weird though.

 

[Velderan]

That was a good move becasue if you had dug it up, and now you know about a bunch of bad stuff, you would be on the hook for it regardless of buyer.

Yeah, a lot of buyers want the seller to turn that old house into a new one for them, and then get really surprised when the seller says "no."

Our inspector identified a lot of things that needed attention, but only a couple of things that needed repair: one was a portion of the foundation (a few feet of sill plate needed replacement, and four pillars needed to be adjusted), and the other was the wiring (one circuit of knob-and-tube wiring was still active and needed to be replaced). Everything else was in pretty good shape. The seller had already informed us that the roof was getting a full replacement before we even made the offer, so there was no need to even bring it up.

Our agent said that was a pretty common thing. They were asking for $20k to do the survey, but it would have been given to them at closing so basically they were never going to actually do the survey and just wanted $20k to buy new furniture for their new house. Either way, glad we walked away and found more reasonable buyers 2 weeks later.

 

[CleverNickName]

Our agent said that was a pretty common thing. They were asking for $20k to do the survey, but it would have been given to them at closing so basically they were never going to actually do the survey and just wanted $20k to buy new furniture for their new house. Either way, glad we walked away and found more reasonable buyers 2 weeks later.

Ugh, gross. The only people who insist on a property survey are developers, who want to turn everything into AFC.

I've heard about folks asking for some pretty shady stuff when trying to buy a home. "Throw in the bedroom furniture for free or the deal is off," or "demolish that carport and build us a garage instead." I wish I was kidding.

Our buyer's concessions list isn't terrible:

• remove the last circuit of knob and tube wiring (code requirement)
• get the furnace inspected (insurance requirement; the last inspection was 2011)
• insulate the floor and attic (since they're already replacing the roof)
• replace 12 feet of sill plate on the foundation (insurance requirement)

I intend to take care of everything else on the nitpicky inspector's five-page list; the guy marked down everything from dented aluminum siding to wobbly ceiling fans. Like, come on dude.

 

[Scribe]

I intend to take care of everything else on the nitpicky inspector's five-page list; the guy marked down everything from dented aluminum siding to wobbly ceiling fans. Like, come on dude.

My inspector, worked for the Realtor. "House is great!" was our report.

Narrator: "Someone lied."

Did I mention I was a dumb kid?

 

[Ryujin]

Our buyer's concessions list isn't terrible:

• remove the last circuit of knob and tube wiring (code requirement)
• get the furnace inspected (insurance requirement; the last inspection was 2011)
• insulate the floor and attic (since they're already replacing the roof)
• replace 12 feet of sill plate on the foundation (insurance requirement)

I intend to take care of everything else on the nitpicky inspector's five-page list; the guy marked down everything from dented aluminum siding to wobbly ceiling fans. Like, come on dude.

Around here that first one would result in not being able to get home owner's insurance, as well.

 

[CleverNickName]

Around here that first one would result in not being able to get home owner's insurance, as well.

Yeah, it's the same here. They were supposed to have it all decommissioned and removed when they built the addition in 2016, per City Code, but the construction inspector apparently missed that one circuit. Nine years later, my inspector found it with an infrared camera.

So the main take-away is: if you're playing a 1E D&D dwarf, you should definitely moonlight as a home inspector. That infravision is pretty handy when it comes to finding hidden wiring defects.

 

[J.Quondam]

My inspector, worked for the Realtor. "House is great!" was our report.

Narrator: "Someone lied."

Did I mention I was a dumb kid?

The more defects I discover about my parents' house in their crappy small town, the more I suspect that the seller, the real estate agents, and the inspectors were all cousins.

 

[Ulorian - Agent of Chaos]

Remember the 1972- TV series "Emergency!"? They did some pretty in depth research for that show, which was set in L.A., and the paramedics wore what they wore in real life; the same as other firemen.

I still remember the theme music.

 

[Ulorian - Agent of Chaos]

I still remember the theme music.

I also remember that those guys names were Gage and de Soto.