We've asked for nuance because simply denying a player for no real reason other than "I don't want it" is really lacking as a reason. When I deny my players, I'll at least give them a solid justification as to why and still try to reach a compromise. The whole complete supremacy of the GM is very weird to me.
My players actively support "supremacy of the GM" in these world-building decisions because they want a curated game, because they trust my judgement, because they're not especially invested in world-building themselves and because they feel that the more invested that I am in the game, the more fun they are going to have.
I mean, the Realms literally switched continents around to allow Dragonborn to come into the Realms, which tells me that, I dunno, maybe it does have flexibility. It's not just about having 200 pages of lore, it's using that as the justification as to why one can't do something.
What the official Realms material does isn't something I use a guideline for anything in my games (in my own, current FR game, the closest thing to canon is FR5, and even that serves ultimately as no more than a source of inspiration, not a book of hard facts).
And I would say that my best stories have definitely not been because players made deep dives on lore, but rather the players helping create something compelling with me. Lore is lore and it is a tool in a toolbox, but it is only one. I find it to be useful, but not something that has importance unto itself.
This is something a lot people were saying earlier: "I've found my games are much better when I open things up so the players are more involved in the worldbuilding." It's great you've identified that, but the fact that it works for you doesn't mean everyone should run games like that all the time.
Hey, you do you. I'm glad you have a whole bunch of lore to draw upon and all that. Not that I don't make up my own, but I just don't see the point of me making up a bunch of stuff that may or may not come up. I just don't see the point of making the lore "inviolable" in some weird way. Like, retcons are a thing all the time in series, where new places are found, new dimensions created, new pathways discovered.
I'm confident that no one is trying to talk you into wasting time making lore if that's not something you will enjoy doing. Personally, I really, really don't like retcons, and will do whatever I can to avoid them -- although, on the other hand, I also won't play in the same setting for more than 2 - 3 years and, if I do happen to return to that setting, it will generally be with a fresh sheet; nothing that occurred in previous campaigns is likely to be relevant.
You're saying there's no way to add something that you didn't conceive of before simply because you have all this lore in place?
No one is saying it's not possible. They're saying that, in some cases, they choose not to.
lmfao I have absolutely seen it myself and I feel like there are dozens of D&D horror stories about it. The idea that you haven't heard tell of DMs who are just trying to inflict their own stories on people is kind of wild to me.
The people in this thread speaking in support of GM curation all (or at least mostly) appear to have stable groups of like-minded players and are running games where everyone is having fun. Several people have made comments about how these GMs should be afraid their players will leave, but it's quite clear there is absolutely no reason the GMs in questions should feel that way. Similarly, that there are some GMs who have run games their players don't enjoy is surely true, but that has nothing to do with the actual, real world games being run by the curating GMs in this conversation.
I think it's not just about collaborative world building, but power dynamics. What is weirding people out is a GM just shutting down a character concept not because it's disruptive, mean-spirited, or something that has some sort of detrimental effect at the table. It's just "This doesn't work in my world" without any sort of real further explanation. Like, I've said no to people who want to do "Dwarves who really hate elves" because it starts as a(n unfunny) joke and inevitably becomes disruptive. But that's not just saying "No, it doesn't fit my world".
What I find strange is the idea that any player is so invested in playing a specific race and expects any given game to be adjusted to accommodate that need. I hope such players find groups where they can play these characters, but I genuinely can't imagine any of my players ever being so heavily invested in a concept that doesn't fit what I was envisaging when I made a game pitch.
In any case, I'm not going to judge people for having those preferences, but if a player expects whatever they want to be allowed every time, they're simply not going to be a good fit for my table. I'll work with you to bring a concept to the table, either now or in a future campaign, but sometimes my answer will be, "No, that doesn't really fit this game."
I think it's less that you have 200 pages of lore and more that you're using 200 pages of lore to cut down your flexibility. There should always be blank spots that you can write into, find exceptions, the extraordinary, the odd. The random Tortle that comes wandering out of the woods, whose story is waiting to be told.
Nothing
@AlViking has said in this thread suggests to me that they aren't flexible or that they don't have plenty of room in their game for exceptions, the extraordinary and the odd. That doesn't mean that adding tortles to their game is an objective, unalloyed good.