Uncommon Preferences & Finding Your Group

[Wendell_Burke]

Having some trouble finding the right gaming group seems to be a common problem for many gamers, but I’ve heard many say that before long, they had found a good group for what they were looking for. I take this to be the norm, average, etc.

This isn’t what I’m asking about.

What I am interested in are those who tend to have (or feel they have) unusually uncommon tastes, preferences, boundaries, requirements, etc., to the extent that it has been exceedingly difficult for you to find other like-minded gamers to form groups with.

I would be very interested to hear your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, experiences, etc., regarding this.

 

[aramis erak]

My biggest problem is a group that all members can put up with each the other long term. Every time a group has imploded, it's been over someone acting out and pissing off the majority of the group. Sometimes the group survives without the problem. Sometimes they don't.

 

[jdrakeh]

I'm part of a group of guys who get together for about two months out of the year for a short campaign (work schedules make meeting more often impossible), and we play all kinds of weird (non-mainstream) stuff. They even played Nazi-Killing Bear Simulator! But everybody else that I know? Yeah, they only want to play vanilla D&D 5e or, once a year or so, a World of Darkness game.

 

[aco175]

I'm guessing there are boundaries, but I do not think they would be unusual. Mostly things you would expect if invited over someone's house, such as not kicking the dog or swearing in front of the little kids.

Something gaming specific might be if the DM has a relationship with a player and now favors that PC or if one player always wants to be the one who sneaks off in the night to spend an hour of game time on a side mission that has nothing to do with the adventure. This is both a DM and player problem if the DM lets it happen more than once and for more than 5 minutes.

My father now needs to sit next to the DM when we go to conventions so he can hear with his hearing aids otherwise the background noise makes him hear only half of what is going on.

 

[payn]

My peculiarities are more of a desire for crunchy systems and long campaigns. I tend to go deep on lore, chargen, campaign world building, etc.. I find the average gamer doesnt have the time or appetite for it. A big part of the road to success has been realizing this is a me thing and not other people's thing. So, I often temper my desires for the exact perfect game and leap into the community where its at. Typically, organized play. Its not ideal, but it is the road to finding other players like me, which ive come to accept are just a rare bird.

 

[Pedantic]

My peculiarities are more of a desire for crunchy systems and long campaigns. I tend to go deep on lore, chargen, campaign world building, etc.. I find the average gamer doesnt have the time or appetite for it. A big part of the road to success has been realizing this is a me thing and not other people's thing. So, I often temper my desires for the exact perfect game and leap into the community where its at. Typically, organized play. Its not ideal, but it is the road to finding other players like me, which ive come to accept are just a rare bird.

Very similar experience for me. I've found as the hobby expands, the things I thought were the point are apparently not only not universal, but relatively rare.

 

[Micah Sweet]

Having some trouble finding the right gaming group seems to be a common problem for many gamers, but I’ve heard many say that before long, they had found a good group for what they were looking for. I take this to be the norm, average, etc.

This isn’t what I’m asking about.

What I am interested in are those who tend to have (or feel they have) unusually uncommon tastes, preferences, boundaries, requirements, etc., to the extent that it has been exceedingly difficult for you to find other like-minded gamers to form groups with.

I would be very interested to hear your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, experiences, etc., regarding this.

Not sure what type of "uncommon tastes" you're talking about. Can you provide an example or two?

 

[aramis erak]

My tastes run to shorter campaigns, 8 to 12 weeks, not multi-year epics.
I like PCs to be heroes from the start.
I like steady small advancement.
And I still need to have a group where everyone can stand each other.

 

[Umbran]

Not sure what type of "uncommon tastes" you're talking about. Can you provide an example or two?

When I read the OP, you popped to mind - I expect your taste for simulationism probably qualifies.

 

[Celebrim]

Having some trouble finding the right gaming group seems to be a common problem for many gamers, but I’ve heard many say that before long, they had found a good group for what they were looking for. I take this to be the norm, average, etc.

This isn’t what I’m asking about.

What I am interested in are those who tend to have (or feel they have) unusually uncommon tastes, preferences, boundaries, requirements, etc., to the extent that it has been exceedingly difficult for you to find other like-minded gamers to form groups with.

I would be very interested to hear your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, experiences, etc., regarding this.

It's hard. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

I frequently find myself sympathizing with B.A. from "Knights of the Dinner Table". I want to run cinematic, highly literary, RP heavy, emotionally affecting games. I want to run games that are high art. My ideal table would probably be a bunch of thespians capable of being voice actors and with a deep commitment to emotionally rich characterization.

Good luck with that.

My peer group are a group of geniuses whose interests are more casual and social and tactical. They like kicking the doors down, killing the thing by surrounding it and beating it down collectively, and then taking its stuff. They I think tolerate my literary aspirations because I tell a pretty good adventure story and it makes their triumphs feel more real, but I'm not sure either of us are the other's ideal participant. (That said, I have had it said by several of them that I've ruined them on other GMs).

Point is that what is fun with the people you have might not always be exactly what you fantasize about. Don't let the imaginary gaming experience get in the way of enjoying a real one.