Single women gamers

Lets try that again:

Nope still not right. Last time I promise. If this one looks funky im just going to leave it.

Note to self: learn how to post pictures before making an ass of yourself publicly.

*crosses fingers*

RobNJ said:

I am the hottest gamer chick ever in the right makeup and clothes:

--image snipped for space--

But seriously, folks, two things. First, the last woman I gamed with was my best friend's ex. She was part of why he and I didn't talk for a year (well, an argument she and I got into). Afterwards, I told her friend who games with me regularly, "God damn she's hot. It's too bad she's a psycho."

And now for my hypocracy: I hate to be the knee jerk liberal, but I gots ta be that kinda ******. Why is it that a discussion of female gamers has to be so appearance-driven?

It's like you can't talk about actresses--or even writers and directors--without its being about looks.

There, I feel a little better. The bit where I labeled myself a hypocrite ties it up all very nicely.

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As a fellow knee jerk liberal, I have to agree with you here. Neither my wife nor myself will be winning any beauty pagents this lifetime, but I have to say that if I could trade her in for a woman who was exactly the same mentally but had a supermodel body, I wouldn't. It just isn't relivent to me.

--Merak desperately tries and largely succeeds in avoiding a rant about the shallowness of Americo/Western society in general--

I also resent the notion that a guy (gamer or not) who is romantically involved with a pretty woman is somehow "luckier" than other guys. Maybe they just like being together. In my experience, by the time a relationship becomes serious, external looks are by and large not an important part of the relationship.

Do you think Boothbey would break up with DragonGirl if she lost her looks overnight? Of course not. But most of the folks coming out of the woodwork admiring her would most likely drift off into silence. I have the unique (I think) perspective of not having had her picture download (I get a broken link icon), so all I have seen is all of your responses. Frankly, though I detect a fair amount of playfulness, I still think the respones were rather immature.

And on the topic of calling girls "chicks," being a man I am not qualified to give an opinion that is worth anything, but my wife would object to it. She would also, I am certain, object to the calling of any adult female a "girl" instead of a "woman." (Sorry DragonGirl, you two seem to be of a different opinion!)

--BACK ON TOPIC--

My group consists of 3 married couples, a single woman, and one of the couples 13 year old son (he's in 1 of our 3 campaigns, sort of an "intro to D&D" for him from all of us). One of our other campaigns has been strong on the sexual innuendo. My character had a tryst with the character (an evil prostitute rogue, who is currently trying to kill my character for unrelated reasons while pretending to like him) run by the DMs wife, and my wife's character (male) is enamored of the character (female) of our single woman (whose character is so dense she doesn't notice).

I have seen no problem with the spouse-player or spouse-DM aspect (perks to the spouse, etc...). As a matter of fact, my wife's wizard was killed the other night and I, the DM, did nothing to alter the rolls in her favor.

Our single woman is a thirtyish mathematician, and is quite brilliant (you should see her calculating the monsters to hit bonuses without seeing my die rolls). She is deliberately playing a low-INT low-WIS cleric just for the role-playing challange. If any of you are interested, I should tell you she isn't. She seems very happy single.

She's the only single gamer I've met in person, but my in-person gaming experience is somewhat limited.

Couple of things - on Anime, another recommendation for Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. I'm not a big anime fan either, but got convinced to watch that one by some friends. If you are a horror fan, it'll have you from the opening scene. The movie is beautiful as well, I almost felt like I was watching a moving Rembrandt. The anime stylizations that most non fans tend to find annoying are kept to a minumum as well.

On attractiveness - I find it odd that people feel the need to express that they don't want attractive people. Of course you want to be with attractive people! Of course what is 'attractive' is mostly subjective. For me it is about looks, at least partially, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It is natural to be attracted to attractive people!

If that makes me shallow, then I guess I'm shallow. But I'm honest

maddman75 said:

On attractiveness - I find it odd that people feel the need to express that they don't want attractive people.

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Well, duh. of course I want to be with someone I find attractive.

I was just talking about a discussion about girl gamers wound up being a discussion about hot girl gamers. I don't suspect you'd get the same reaction if you asked, I don't know, are there any male knitters out there? on a knitting site (to pick something horribly stereotypical).

MerakSpielman, insinctively, looks DO matter. Politically correct or not... rational or not... it's in our genes. There is a wealth of research information that shows, from birth, appearance does have an effect on the viewer's initial emotional reaction. What we find beautiful, as a species, tends to be symmetry. The reason why is because it shows health, and a healthy mate is what we instinctively look for.

I wouldn't call the standard male reaction to a beautiful female, immature. Flirting is what comes naturally to men who come across (in one form or other) to an attractive female. I don't see a reason to find that reaction as "immature", just not something you would do.

Anyway... thankfully, our rational minds can, more or less, overcome our instinctual reactions .


P.S.: RobNJ, I suspect that nearly any conversation about about females, by males, will end up discussing the attractiveness of them, lol.

I wanted to comment on the subject of discussions about women gamers turning into discussions of hot women gamers.

That's why I said upthread that having a constantly sexually charged atmosphere at the gaming table is tiresome. It's actually tiresome anywhere. If an attractive woman wants to have a serious, intellectual discussion, it isn't always easy to do that with men. Now, this is more true with teens and twentysomethings than for somewhat older guys, so perhaps we can chalk it up to testosterone poisoning.

I'm not saying that I'm offended by flirting. Far from it. But I'd like you guys to try to imagine what it's like to want to have an intellectual discussion with someone who can't stop staring at your chest. It's annoying as all get out, I'll tell you.

I'm not accusing anyone in this thread of anything. I just wanted to give you something to think about, so the next time that hot gamer girl wants to have a conversation with you, you might keep your tongue in your mouth, your hands to yourself, and your eyes on her face. Take her seriously for her brain, and you are more likely to get...well, you know. I spent the first 30 years of my life wanting to be taken seriously. As soon as I met a man who did, I married him.

A final thought. I love the internet! It's the only place where you stand or fall on your ideas rather than your looks.

Buttercup, on this one, we agree 100% .
I fell head over heels with my girlfriend without really knowing exactly what she looked liked, based on her personality alone . And thankfully for me as well... since I'm not exactly Mr. Hansome, lol.

I can imagine the difficulty women have on this issue... if I have a good idea and I want to get it out, I don't want some other issue to come between it. Must be damn frustrating.

As a side note:

I heard an interesting interview on NPR about two months ago with a woman that had a change sex. She talked about her life before and after the sex change... the thing that took her most by surprise was her emotional and mental reaction to the testosterone shots.

She said before the shots she had always been a very sensative person and she thought of herself as having a healthy sexual appetite. Once she started taking her shots.. she was completely taken aback by the sheer amount of self control she had to exert just to behave in a barely acceptable fashion (and she didn't always succeed) due to the massive amount of sexual aggression she had. She described all the classic stuff... staring constantly at T&A and more, lol. She said she even had strong impulses to buy sports cars, something that had never interested her before. Btw... if anyone knows about this interview or where i can dig it up... please let me know.

Anyway, I think that women tend to understimate what men go through on this. So girls... most guys, in my experience, honestly try really, really, really hard not to stare at your body parts or do any number of other things that our bodies are screaming at us to do. So when you do have a conversation with a guy and he is looking at your eyes and not at something else... appreciate the iron tower of will that stands before you .

P.S.: I'm not trying to excuse any behavior that men partake in... just trying to expose it so a bit more understanding might be possible .

Arravis said:

...NPR Sex change thing...

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Personally, I think much of that effect was psychosomatic.

There are very good physiologic reasons why men (as a general rule) are more aggressive and more sexually oriented. But extrapolation from there to sports cars and what not...

Secondary societal effect.

I'm sure a good deal of it was... but it's not my point. The point I was trying to make is that too often society portrays men as dim-witted and with no self control... and I don't think that fits the truth. The sexual impulses of men and women are different... the self control required to control that impulse in men is different then it is in women.