D&D 5E So long and thanks for all the fish!

rgoodbb said:

That is quite something isn't it?

The amount of posters declaring they're out of a conversation and then dipping straight back in is amusing

The trick I guess is not to read on afterwards. Tempting though it may be.

Click to expand...

Could be he is still reading but finding nothing worth posting about or responding to. After all, we haven't exactly been begging him to come back, just carrying on indulging ourselves in his thread. Apart from [MENTION=6763011]Obeliske[/MENTION]'s recent post, we haven't exactly taken his grumble seriously.

Hey, [MENTION=6875555]Thedip[/MENTION], if you are reading this, come and complain about us making a mockery of your post by having fun regardless.

Also, we need another 8 laugh-withs to make #2 all-time funniest thread. Come on chaps! Put some effort into it!

The denizens of Sher Wood were wary of the new arrivals and their talk of Thing. "They could be spies for the Hood", suggested Tuck the pixie, flourishing a tiny quarterstaff meaningfully. "Out secret ways through the forest to the Enchanted Castle must not be revealed."

"What Enchanted Castle?" asked Throg innocently.

"Ahah! I told you they were spies," cried Tuck, "No-one else would have known about the Enchanted Castle! Lock them all in the dungeon!"

And thus it was that the entire party came to be locked in a dungeon beneath a ruined temple in the very midst of the forest.

Which was rather inconvenient.

But not for very long.

The genii opened a trapdoor in the ceiling, let down a rope and they all climbed out, with the larger members of the party helping the smaller ones to climb up the rope.

This placed them in a turret atop the Enchanted Castle, which they weren't supposed to know about. In the turret was a beautiful princess who was spinning some finest cloth of exquisite quality, as only princesses are qualified to spin. She was somewhat surprised to see them appearing suddenly, because she thought she had locked the door while she had a crafty cigarette. "Who are you?" she asked, thus demonstrating the devastating intellectual power of her keen and penetrating mind. "Are you my new servants? What happened to the old ones?"

It fell to Spiton to reply ...

How do we know he hasn't made a new account to read here and comment? We could all be FOOLS!

CheezyRamen. Good to hear from you again .......Are.............You...........the...........Onedip!

Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!! OMG shut it down. Shut it all down. We have been betrayed......







Or



So......Throg walks into a bar with a battleaxe and an ogre's left toenail. The barman says..............

"The toenail is tacky, but did you have to bring your wife?"

"Yeah," said Throg. "Throghilda, she good wife. She keep other six wives in order. Also, she head-butt mammoths if they stubborn."

"What will the good lady have to drink?" asked the barman professionally.

Throg looked around, slightly puzzled, then threw a handful of silver pieces on the bar. "Dunno, but Throghilda drinks Headbangers. With the little umbrellas. You got little umbrellas."

"Er ..." began the barman.

"I SAID YOU GOT LITTLE UMBRELLAS. IT NOT A QUESTION."

"Put the man down, dear," said Throghilda. "He's turning green."

"grik tmurp," said the barman thickly, and produced a headbanger with little umbrellas. And little ice cubes in the shape of dolphins. And a bowl of peanuts. And a tray of sausages on sticks.

"This good bar," opined Throg. "Except ..."

….Except I am not really here. He thought.
“Throg. Throg wake up”

“......We are of course your new servants Princess. But we need to apprise you of a radical change in the trend and fashion of things in middle earth today.”

Spiton was very clearly able to see why this Princess/seamstress was the best around. She was half human and half spider. So spinning silks and spinning yarns came naturally for her. Princess or not, this was an abomination.

“My name is….Shiva. At least that is what the afraid call me. Are you afraid of me Spiton?”

“Of course not, your extra legs and furry mandibles just add to your whole beautiful exterior.”

“I don’t believe that statement. Please role Deception”

“OK but I fully believe my deception so I have advantage.”

“I cancel your advantage because I’m looking for your deception with my eight eyes.”

“Klick-Klack. Will you give me aid with your five eyes?”

“Once advantage is cancelled. It’s cancelled”

“Is that RAW or RAI”

“Both. It’s also ROC”

“Ma’am, that’s not cool.”…………

Spiton rolled the d20. He got a natural 81.

What was the DC? he asked innocently.

Shiva hissed. She suspected trickery but every one of her eight eyes confirmed that this was indeed a genuine 81.

"At last!" she cried. "The heroes of legend have come to rescue me from this tower! The sooth fairy spoke true!" and with a bound she squeezed through the window, webbed down the tower and scuttled away to hide in the bushes.

"What am I supposed to do now?" asked the spinning wheel.

"What do you do now?" Replied a voice from Random Pantheon, and gave Spinning Wheel more sentience.............