14 year old girl wants to join my game

[Zander]

My son (not yet 3) loves to play with my dice, when I let him. He always goes through and picks out all of the black d12s. I guess it's his favourite shape and colour, and considering his age, it speaks well for his mathematical abilities.

My 5-year-old daughter has also expressed interest in playing, and we've told her we'll teach her to play when she's older. I'm thinking I should design a simple "fairy princesses" game to introduce her to RPGs. Being a 5-year-old girl, she loves fairies and princesses, so it wouldn't need much selling.

You may find Roleplaying With Kids published by Technomancer Press useful.

 

[Jack99]

@Mark Chance and Dire Bare

Saying that I am ignorant because I am wrong hardly constitutes a sensible argument. Either way, I am sorry if you took my comments about America as a personal insult, it was of course in no way meant that way. There are plenty of great, intelligent and nice Americans around, and I am sure you are one of them, but that doesn't change the fact that there are some serious weaknesses in your "culture" (to use your words), that a lot of people in the Old World think are ridiculous, bordering on something quite unreal.

Personally I wouldn't mind if someone made a comment like mine about my own culture, which is why I made it the first time around.

Cheers,

 

[Mark Chance]

So... it's still a double-standard to me. 16 and 17 still isn't legal age, so you can't use that excuse. To me the only difference is that she's a girl (be honest, if the 14-year-old was a boy, would this thread even exist?). I agree with what someone else said: if slander is what you're concerned about, I guess you'd have problems with a female of any age joining the group... which to me is another sad topic.

There's not a double standard as far as I'm concerned. No 16- or 17-year-old girl is getting into my gaming group either. That wouldn't change if the teenager were a boy. Likewise, the choice my gaming group has made to not invite female players isn't a "sad topic" or anything else negative. We just want a group where we can sit around and game and complain about problems we have as men without being concerned about offending a lady. Several of my Man Day players are in other gaming groups that include women. (I'm not, but my schedule only handles one gaming group to begin with.)

Personally I wouldn't mind if someone made a comment like mine about my own culture, which is why I made it the first time around.

That is completely beside the point. Your willingness to be insulted doesn't excuse your willingness to insult others.

 

[Felix]

When I read a thread like this, it makes me want to weep for all Americans.

Why is it that a 30 year old teacher would not want to game with a 14 year old girl?

To protect himself.​

What is it that the teacher needs to protect himself from?

From accusations of misconduct regarding a minor.​

Why are accusations of misconduct so fearful?

Because this culture believes that trying to protect every child is worth mistakenly ruining some adults.​

The situation is a result of a cultural choice to fiercely protect children. Even though I have to be very aware of what I do when I interact with the high schoolers I coach, I think it's the right choice for society to make. Your tears for me are unwelcome.

I am sorry if you took my comments about America as a personal insult, it was of course in no way meant that way.

There is nothing your comment could have been but insulting; grow up and take responsibility for what you say.

 

[Jeysie]

There's not a double standard as far as I'm concerned. No 16- or 17-year-old girl is getting into my gaming group either. That wouldn't change if the teenager were a boy.

I was referring to the comment someone made about the 40-year-old wanting to join "a group of legal adults", since they're not a group of all legal adults. I was also referring to the people who can't seem to consistently decide whether it is or isn't weird for adults and teenagers to want to game together.

If you personally don't let *any* teenagers into your group because you prefer gamers your own age, that's fine. But I wasn't refuting your particular post.

We just want a group where we can sit around and game and complain about problems we have as men without being concerned about offending a lady.

I was referring to the general atmosphere of not wanting to game with a girl because it "looks bad" or "it's creepy", as well as referencing:

Put it this way...sometime in the future, imagine that either the girl or her parents have a falling out with the DM or another member of the group, and go to the press with false accusations.

Do you not permit women in your group? One women among a group of men is opening yourself up to the same sort of false accusations.

Again, if you personally don't allow women simply because you prefer hanging out with men, that's fine, since your post is not what I was refuting. I don't have a problem with people preferring to hang out with certain groups. It's not hanging out with a group you normally *might* be willing to hang out with based on percieved problems that I feel are blown way out of proportion that bugs me.

(Although I can't help but note that in my group the men complain about their problems all they want, and we women don't get offended.)

The situation is a result of a cultural choice to fiercely protect children. Even though I have to be very aware of what I do when I interact with the high schoolers I coach, I think it's the right choice for society to make.

So in the name of safety, we have a society where children are mollycoddled from learning how to make their own choices/mistakes and handle consequences, are emotionally isolated from non-family adults, and where it's so easy to slander someone who did nothing wrong that we have to live in fear of doing what should be perfectly legal and innocent actions because it might "look bad".

*I* shed tears for that.

Peace & Luv, Liz

 

[Mark Chance]

(Although I can't help but note that in my group the men complain about their problems all they want, and we women don't get offended.)

I'd be willing to bet they don't complain all they want, and that comments are censored. That point aside, you don't know my friends. A bunch of mostly married late-30 to early-40 somethings, most of whom are veterans with extremely colorful, merciless vocabularies, aren't fit company for ladies unless heavily censored.

 

[Jeysie]

I'd be willing to bet they don't complain all they want, and that comments are censored. That point aside, you don't know my friends. A bunch of mostly married late-30 to early-40 somethings, most of whom are veterans with extremely colorful, merciless vocabularies, aren't fit company for ladies unless heavily censored.

I've heard gripes about the SO's PMS, comments about porn and sexual lives, players on business trips getting lonely for their wives, moanings about jock itch and other "guy parts problems", etc.

I will say that we do have *one* player who gets offended at "colorful" vocabularies or overly sexual conversations... but it's one of the *men*. So I guess I could admit we tend to censor ourselves a bit for *his* sake.

Peace & Luv, Liz

 

[Jack99]

Why is it that a 30 year old teacher would not want to game with a 14 year old girl?

To protect himself.​

What is it that the teacher needs to protect himself from?

From accusations of misconduct regarding a minor.​

Why are accusations of misconduct so fearful?

Because this culture believes that trying to protect every child is worth mistakenly ruining some adults.​

The situation is a result of a cultural choice to fiercely protect children. Even though I have to be very aware of what I do when I interact with the high schoolers I coach, I think it's the right choice for society to make. Your tears for me are unwelcome.


There is nothing your comment could have been but insulting; grow up and take responsibility for what you say.

While I agree that we should protect our children, I do think that it is possible to go too far, when you create an atmosphere of distrust and paranoia.

As for taking responsibility, I have no problems doing that. As I said, my comments weren't meant as a personal insult, and should thus not be taken as such. That doesn't mean that I don't stand by my opinion about USA. If you choose to take my critique of USA as a personal insult, I really can't do much about it.

 

[Mieric]

Again, if you personally don't allow women simply because you prefer hanging out with men, that's fine, since your post is not what I was refuting. I don't have a problem with people preferring to hang out with certain groups. It's not hanging out with a group you normally *might* be willing to hang out with based on percieved problems that I feel are blown way out of proportion that bugs me.

After past bad experiences of our entire gaming group being blackmailed by one of our members ex-girlfriends, we didn't invite any women to participate in our gaming group for a couple of years. (Long story short - they broke up and she wanted him out of the group and tried to blackmail us into that after we refused).

Now that my house wired for both video and sound (yes, every damn room) with time/date stamps and archives going back for 2 years - we finally have another female in our group (2 of them actually).

Though now that everything that happens in my house is recorded - and I refuse to game anywhere else, I feel comfortable enough to invite almost anyone to our games.

and where it's so easy to slander someone who did nothing wrong that we have to live in fear of doing what should be perfectly legal and innocent actions because it might "look bad".

Yeah, well.... that's progress for ya.

Edit: I really don't like being as paranoid as I am; but after being blackmailed, supporting friends through really nasty divorces, and having a boss that got shot when police raided his house on a false tip... what exactly do you expect?

 

[Mark Chance]

If you choose to take my critique of USA as a personal insult, I really can't do much about it.

You could (1) stop blathering blanket statements meant to cover a few hundred million people and (2) stop trying to rationalize your bad manners when someone covered by the blanket objects.

Just a thought.