14 year old girl wants to join my game

[cougent]

Personally, I can understand the confusion. After all, I'm kind of amused that in this thread, a lot of people are creeped out/paranoid/horrified at the idea of an adult wanting to game with a teenager... but in the other thread, everyone thinks it's OK.

Peace & Luv, Liz

Absolutely no offense to you Jeysie, but this is a very naive statement.

As I said in the 40 year old man thread, the difference between a 14 year old girl wanting to join a group of adults and a 40 year old man wanting to join a group of late teens is HUGE. Their are legal issues to consider whether you like to consider them or not.

She is not legally responsible for herself, the adults around her would be, not just the OP, but his whole group. Her level of maturity matters not one iota in a court of law.

He is not only legally responsible for his own actions (liable) but could be held responsible for actions that happen around him (conspiracy, negligence, accessory)

While she may be adventurous and wanting to meet new people and he may be creepy, the law is still on his side. To ignore that would be asking for problems.

 

[Mark Chance]

Do you not permit women in your group? One women among a group of men is opening yourself up to the same sort of false accusations.

I don't know about Thurbane, but my gaming group is non-women. Every other Saturday is Man Day. Women don't fit in on Man Day.

 

[shilsen]

I don't know about Thurbane, but my gaming group is non-women. Every other Saturday is Man Day. Women don't fit in on Man Day.

I know what you mean! I've DMed for a few all-women groups, and after a while the constant swearing, sexual innuendo (and most of the time it's not subtle enough to be called innuendo), burping, emphasis on hack-and-slash, etc. just gets really old and you want to game with some nice polite men.

 

[drothgery]

Personally, I can understand the confusion. After all, I'm kind of amused that in this thread, a lot of people are creeped out/paranoid/horrified at the idea of an adult wanting to game with a teenager... but in the other thread, everyone thinks it's OK.

In the other thread, all the people involved are legal adults. If the girl in this thread were 18, no one would have any issues with it (unless she's still a high school student and one of the other players is a teacher or administrator at her school, or something like that).

 

[Jack99]

When I read a thread like this, it makes me want to weep for all Americans. You guys might be the nr1 economical and military power of the world, but your society is completely f***ed up, to a point that it is a caricature of a real society.

I am myself a teacher, and while we do have some special rules for teachers, I don't know anyone who would react as you guys, for the reasons you have mentioned.

Personally, I would never allow a 14 year old girl to my games, but that is because my games are with a group that have played together for 18 years, and we don't want any outsiders in our games, aside from those from the Great Wheel

 

[Mark Chance]

I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.

A quote proving that ignorance:

When I read a thread like this, it makes me want to weep for all Americans. You guys might be the nr1 economical and military power of the world, but your society is completely f***ed up, to a point that it is a caricature of a real society.

Well, Jack99, at least you're honest about your limitations.

 

[Dire Bare]

Do you not permit women in your group? One women among a group of men is opening yourself up to the same sort of false accusations.

Give me a break. It's not the fact the young woman is female that is the problem. It's the other word, "young", that is the issue.

For the reasons I stated above, I wouldn't let a 14-yr-old girl or boy into my games (again, only because I'm a teacher).

 

[Dire Bare]

Personally, I can understand the confusion. After all, I'm kind of amused that in this thread, a lot of people are creeped out/paranoid/horrified at the idea of an adult wanting to game with a teenager... but in the other thread, everyone thinks it's OK.

Actually, I'm pretty sure very few of us in this thread are creeped out by the thought of a 14-yr-old girl playing in a D&D game with older men. Some of us are just wise enough to know it's not a good idea if some of those men (or women) are teachers. It may not be "right" and it may be sad, but sometimes being a teacher in America means you have to do, or not do, things that don't make a lot of sense.

Jeysie, have you ever known a teacher who has lost their job, their career, and possibly their freedom due to false allegations of molestation? I have. There is a reason why teachers and school administrators are paranoid about this sort of thing . . . because if it comes up, we lose.

You keep ascribing undue paranoia to those of us who see this as a bad idea, and you seem to keep ignoring the voices of the many teachers on this thread who have direct experience in America's classrooms and school systems (Austraila's too!). I'm going out on a limb here and guessing you are not a teacher and have absolutely no experience in this area. Am I right?

Chances are, if Argh Mark! allowed this girl into his game, nothing bad would happen at all. I'm sure that he and his gaming group would not molest her of course. And probably everybody would have a great time, the young girl and the entire group. Chances are nobody would make false accusations, not the girl, not her parents, not any third-party folks.

But if they did, chances are Argh Mark! could kiss his career goodbye at the very least.

 

[Dire Bare]

When I read a thread like this, it makes me want to weep for all Americans. You guys might be the nr1 economical and military power of the world, but your society is completely f***ed up, to a point that it is a caricature of a real society.

Like Mark Chance, I see the irony of your statements versus your sig. Think before you post when insulting someone else's culture.

Obviously, this thread points out one of the many weaknesses in current American culture. The paranoia we have as a society regarding child molestation. We have similiar levels of paranoia towards terrorism and crime (IMO). However, as has also been revealed in this thread, this is not a phenomenon limited to the US at all, as some of our Austrailan brothers have similar concerns. I know this can be an issue in England, and probably other places in the world as well.

American society has plenty of weaknesses, I could list them from my point of view except that would swing the thread too political which is against board rules (heck, we might already be there, I hope not). Suffice to say I'm on the far left and have plenty of issues on where my country is heading currently.

However, America also has many strengths. There is a reason why we are one of the most powerful and influential countries on the planet. Despite my country's flaws, I'm very proud to be an American citizen.

I'm sure if I studied the culture and society of Denmark I could find some weaknesses and some strengths. But you won't find me insulting your culture, so please don't insult mine.

 

[Jeysie]

Jeysie, have you ever known a teacher who has lost their job, their career, and possibly their freedom due to false allegations of molestation?

Nope. As I said earlier, I've been hugged by teachers, been (back in my really bratty days) bodily dragged off to the principal by teachers, been helped with technique in gym class, stayed after with teachers for musical and otherwise instruction, etc. Not *once* have I ever seen a teacher shy away from touching a student if it made sense. Maybe back in the staff room where I couldn't see, the upper management was wringing their hands, but the teachers didn't change their styles. *shrug*

And, like I said, I've been the teenage girl hanging out with a group of adults many times. Nothing bad has ever happened, and I've always enjoyed the experience. If I seem naive, it's because it just was not ever an issue in my childhood, so I'm pretty weirded out that it's an issue a scant 10-15 years later.

I'm going out on a limb here and guessing you are not a teacher and have absolutely no experience in this area. Am I right?

I have no direct experience, no. But the only place I've ever heard of it happening is on the media in places not here.

And, quite frankly, given the media's bad sensationalist track record involving other things I have experience of, like video games, roleplaying, meeting online friends in person, etc... I'm having a hard time swallowing this, too. Like I said, while I have known people who were abused, it was all by their peers, not by adults.

So... it's still a double-standard to me. 16 and 17 still isn't legal age, so you can't use that excuse. To me the only difference is that she's a girl (be honest, if the 14-year-old was a boy, would this thread even exist?). I agree with what someone else said: if slander is what you're concerned about, I guess you'd have problems with a female of any age joining the group... which to me is another sad topic.

I dunno. I guess that being someone who is a bit of a feminist; who gained a lot of valuable life experiences from time spent outside of school with adults, both teachers and otherwise; and who was far more scared of being around her *peers* as a kid than adults... well, it all bristles me a bit.

I guess also it's my "Do onto others" tendencies... I know that if *I* was in this sort of situation as a teen, was disallowed being able to game and given these sorts of reasons why, I'd be very disappointed and angry. Also, we never did yet hear why the girl decided to approach the older group did we? If I ended up doing so because they were the most accessible group or because I thought the other groups my age were immature/unfun, I'd be even more disappointed because then I wouldn't even be able to game.

I guess all I can do is bow out and say that I guess I'm very, very glad I got to be a pre-teen/teenager in 1990's Pittsfield, 'cause I didn't have to personally deal with these apparent problems. ;P (Dealt with plenty of *other* problems, but not these.)

Peace & Luv, Liz