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212 Odd, Useless, Interesting, and other wise non-sensical magic items
- Thread starter jester47
- Start date
Clock of undependable appointments: Although this clock changes the rate at which it advances, its owner is never aware of the fact. It is guaranteed to be correct only four times each day, although the exact times of correctness are different for any given day. Any appointments attempted to be kept by using the clock as a guide will inevitably be 15-30 minutes either early or late from the actual time.
Ball of return: a small child's plaything, when dropped or thrown the ball will always successfully return to the childs hand for another hit or into the child's arms to be caught.
Flower of delightful preservation (several varieties): this flower has been magically preserved to always appear fresh, and does not require any water to remain so.
Portable porthole: This roughly 6 inch diameter bronze circlet is a boon to any rogues, as this item creates a small gate between the circlet and any designated point within 30 feet of the ring for up to four rounds. During this time, the user can either see through the ring from it's new vantage point (great for seeing around corners or through windows) or even reach through the ring with a hand to access the other side (allowing for remote pickpocket or sleight-of-hand attempts, or to access the contents of a container without lifting a lid). The gate is two-way and the opening is clearly visible from either end.
Scratch-my-back-scratcher: This is a small stick with a hand-shaped arrangement. When used to scratch the back of a target, compels the target to likewise scratch your back within 24 hours.
Frame of shrinking proportions: This object is actually composed of two L-shape pieces that interlock together to form a picture frame type shape. When linked together and held together at arms length, it's user may shrink the primary object perceived through the frame as he pushes the Ls together. Only inanimate objects that are not part of a larger whole and which fit within a 4'x4'x4' space or smaller can be targeted, and the shrink effect is permanent. (a side note - Pulix's famed intricate chess pieces are purported to be a group petrified sprites, halflings, dwarves and kobolds that were put through this process)
Vera's everpresent ice: These small cubes of ice can be used to comfortably chill any drink they are placed into, yet never expire or disappear so can be stored and saved for repeated use.
Leaflet of untrustworthy news: This small sheet of paper is found each morning to contain reportedly detailed descriptions of at least six events that will happen that day. Unfortunately, at least half of them are wrong on pertinent detail such as exactly who or how many are involved, where the event will happen, or even what will happen.
Blood turnips: These naturally occuring vegetables, often located at ley-line intersections or near unhallowed ground, can be squeezed for roughly 1/2 and ounce of blood each.
(I think I've found my calling - just name me the "Master of Useless Stuff"!)
Ball of return: a small child's plaything, when dropped or thrown the ball will always successfully return to the childs hand for another hit or into the child's arms to be caught.
Flower of delightful preservation (several varieties): this flower has been magically preserved to always appear fresh, and does not require any water to remain so.
Portable porthole: This roughly 6 inch diameter bronze circlet is a boon to any rogues, as this item creates a small gate between the circlet and any designated point within 30 feet of the ring for up to four rounds. During this time, the user can either see through the ring from it's new vantage point (great for seeing around corners or through windows) or even reach through the ring with a hand to access the other side (allowing for remote pickpocket or sleight-of-hand attempts, or to access the contents of a container without lifting a lid). The gate is two-way and the opening is clearly visible from either end.
Scratch-my-back-scratcher: This is a small stick with a hand-shaped arrangement. When used to scratch the back of a target, compels the target to likewise scratch your back within 24 hours.
Frame of shrinking proportions: This object is actually composed of two L-shape pieces that interlock together to form a picture frame type shape. When linked together and held together at arms length, it's user may shrink the primary object perceived through the frame as he pushes the Ls together. Only inanimate objects that are not part of a larger whole and which fit within a 4'x4'x4' space or smaller can be targeted, and the shrink effect is permanent. (a side note - Pulix's famed intricate chess pieces are purported to be a group petrified sprites, halflings, dwarves and kobolds that were put through this process)
Vera's everpresent ice: These small cubes of ice can be used to comfortably chill any drink they are placed into, yet never expire or disappear so can be stored and saved for repeated use.
Leaflet of untrustworthy news: This small sheet of paper is found each morning to contain reportedly detailed descriptions of at least six events that will happen that day. Unfortunately, at least half of them are wrong on pertinent detail such as exactly who or how many are involved, where the event will happen, or even what will happen.
Blood turnips: These naturally occuring vegetables, often located at ley-line intersections or near unhallowed ground, can be squeezed for roughly 1/2 and ounce of blood each.
(I think I've found my calling - just name me the "Master of Useless Stuff"!)
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fuindordm
Adventurer
TDRandall said:
Hat of the bread?
I think you want the chapeau du lapin.
The chapeau du lapin was created by a minotaur bloodline sorcerer with a flying
squirrel familiar. Due to an error in it's enchantment, the hat can be used by anyone
except a wizard or sorcerer. If a wizard or sorcerer uses the hat, they instead produce
a hostile animal as if Summon Nature's Ally III had been cast.
--Ben
jasper
Rotten DM
copper coin of ill luck. User suffers -1 to all luck rolls and has 5% chance per day of something bad happening which causes damaga to user or user possesions.
silver coin of throwing. Range 300 This coin was first created by the wizard B. Frank Lin of a Noble for fun. The originial was lost when was toss across a river.
Mother's returning shoe. Range 100 Created by the wizard Bill C. for his wife to correct his children. This shoe when throw hits target without need of to hit and returns to its thrower. Does 1d4 of subdual dam. Target must be younger than thrower.
Pirate Cat's Eye Patch this eye patch cause the owner to look like a pirate with hook, hat, and peg leg. The patch does not block the owner's vision.
Jasper's Joy buzzer. This toy created by mad wizard jasper delievers a shocking grasp which does 1 pt of sudual damage on a touch attack. Repeated attacks to the same target on the same day run the chance of the target becoming enrage going into a barbarian rage of the target's level and attack the owner.
Buck Stars coffee pot. near artifact. This huge gnomish tinkler invention was graced by the gods. It produces any type of coffee. Curse is if stays in one location all drinkers of coffee will be willing to pay ever increasing prices for the beverage.
Stars bucks ever lit Smoke. This cigar stays lit and only the owner is able to put out the cigar. The cigar regenerates over night.
Mike Eees Ever Clear Dining Set. This set of dinner ware is know to include a plate, cup, spoon, bowl. When the command word is given the plate is mostly clean leaving enough food behind to fool mothers to think the user has eaten his meal.
Santa's Ever filled Bag. An varitation of bag of holding once a year any body can reach in and pull out a brightly wrapped box. The contents of box varies with use. Good alignment get a small item under 5 gp .
Neutral alignment get a small item under 5 gp which breaks in a week, or an article of clothing under 5 gp
Evil alignment get a lump of coal which will provide the user with small campfire which burns for 8 hours.
Investigatiors Disguise Kit. User can create any disguise they want in 2 minutes. Viewers of disguise must make a will save of DC 5 or totally believe the disiguise.
Pet rock. Owner believes this rock, which appears to be just a rock, to be a companion and cohort. Affects disappears in 1d20 days.
Iconic Mood Ring. This ring has a yellow face with two dots of eyes and a line for mouth. The ring reflects the mood of user accurately 50% of the time.
Granny's Sweater This keeps the user warm in conditions down to 32 F/ 0C. However user is -2 on cha rolls due how funny the item looks.
silver coin of throwing. Range 300 This coin was first created by the wizard B. Frank Lin of a Noble for fun. The originial was lost when was toss across a river.
Mother's returning shoe. Range 100 Created by the wizard Bill C. for his wife to correct his children. This shoe when throw hits target without need of to hit and returns to its thrower. Does 1d4 of subdual dam. Target must be younger than thrower.
Pirate Cat's Eye Patch this eye patch cause the owner to look like a pirate with hook, hat, and peg leg. The patch does not block the owner's vision.
Jasper's Joy buzzer. This toy created by mad wizard jasper delievers a shocking grasp which does 1 pt of sudual damage on a touch attack. Repeated attacks to the same target on the same day run the chance of the target becoming enrage going into a barbarian rage of the target's level and attack the owner.
Buck Stars coffee pot. near artifact. This huge gnomish tinkler invention was graced by the gods. It produces any type of coffee. Curse is if stays in one location all drinkers of coffee will be willing to pay ever increasing prices for the beverage.
Stars bucks ever lit Smoke. This cigar stays lit and only the owner is able to put out the cigar. The cigar regenerates over night.
Mike Eees Ever Clear Dining Set. This set of dinner ware is know to include a plate, cup, spoon, bowl. When the command word is given the plate is mostly clean leaving enough food behind to fool mothers to think the user has eaten his meal.
Santa's Ever filled Bag. An varitation of bag of holding once a year any body can reach in and pull out a brightly wrapped box. The contents of box varies with use. Good alignment get a small item under 5 gp .
Neutral alignment get a small item under 5 gp which breaks in a week, or an article of clothing under 5 gp
Evil alignment get a lump of coal which will provide the user with small campfire which burns for 8 hours.
Investigatiors Disguise Kit. User can create any disguise they want in 2 minutes. Viewers of disguise must make a will save of DC 5 or totally believe the disiguise.
Pet rock. Owner believes this rock, which appears to be just a rock, to be a companion and cohort. Affects disappears in 1d20 days.
Iconic Mood Ring. This ring has a yellow face with two dots of eyes and a line for mouth. The ring reflects the mood of user accurately 50% of the time.
Granny's Sweater This keeps the user warm in conditions down to 32 F/ 0C. However user is -2 on cha rolls due how funny the item looks.
Gorilla726
First Post
The Goblet of Wonder
The Goblet of Wonder was created by a halfling wizard with quite a sense of humor. He created the Goblet, then sent it off with one of his adventuring friends, teling of it's amazing abilities. So said abilities were to be able to heal completely by drinking from it, to add to some one's strength, and to make a person incredibly bright. But in fact, the Goblet causes the drinker to belch rainbow colored gas for 2d10 rounds.
It sells for 50,000 gp if the true nature has not been revealed. 500 if it has.
The Goblet of Wonder was created by a halfling wizard with quite a sense of humor. He created the Goblet, then sent it off with one of his adventuring friends, teling of it's amazing abilities. So said abilities were to be able to heal completely by drinking from it, to add to some one's strength, and to make a person incredibly bright. But in fact, the Goblet causes the drinker to belch rainbow colored gas for 2d10 rounds.
It sells for 50,000 gp if the true nature has not been revealed. 500 if it has.
Ferret
Explorer
Book of answers: This archaic tome is riddled with answers, they appear on random pages and are rarely set out in a regular manner, some being write upside down, others at angles. However the book contains no questions. The answers are never profound, but usually interesting.
Book of coding: Anything written into this flat, neat looking book appears backwards on the page and must be read using a mirror. The reader must make a wisdom check the first time they read the book to figure out where to place the mirror. (That always confuses me)
Journal of comunication: The dog-eared leaves of paper in this book look old and used but no writing is ever inside. Instead what ever is writen in this book appears in its double, the wrtting in both books is erased after being read.
Glove of holding: This glove acts like a bag of holding type I. Whilst your hand is inside the glove you can feel around for what ever is in there, but you are unable to move the fingers of the glove.
Backpack of sleeping: This normal looking backpack works in the same munda fashion as a regular backpack, however when it is turned inside out, instead of spilling its contents it transforms into a sleeping bag sized for one medium sized caster.
Clothes of warmths: When these clothes are not worn they appear as travaling clothes. However when they are worn, and put on completely they disappear, but the wearer remains magically warm in all climates.
Book of coding: Anything written into this flat, neat looking book appears backwards on the page and must be read using a mirror. The reader must make a wisdom check the first time they read the book to figure out where to place the mirror. (That always confuses me)
Journal of comunication: The dog-eared leaves of paper in this book look old and used but no writing is ever inside. Instead what ever is writen in this book appears in its double, the wrtting in both books is erased after being read.
Glove of holding: This glove acts like a bag of holding type I. Whilst your hand is inside the glove you can feel around for what ever is in there, but you are unable to move the fingers of the glove.
Backpack of sleeping: This normal looking backpack works in the same munda fashion as a regular backpack, however when it is turned inside out, instead of spilling its contents it transforms into a sleeping bag sized for one medium sized caster.
Clothes of warmths: When these clothes are not worn they appear as travaling clothes. However when they are worn, and put on completely they disappear, but the wearer remains magically warm in all climates.
Slife
First Post
I'm suprised nobody has mentioned the Warehouse 23 basement. It's full of useless magical/ high tech items. I think there's even a table for GMs somewhere on the site.
Someone here proposed a dinner table of regeneration for a ghoul city's loot. Good wherever, I suppose.
Someone here proposed a dinner table of regeneration for a ghoul city's loot. Good wherever, I suppose.
Spellbook of Deliciousness
This book, upon examination, appears to be a high-quality wizard's spellbook, and exudes a faint aura of transmutation. However, any spell scribed within its pages will be altered within 24 hours, such that it is now a recipe for oatmeal cookies, smoked duck, or some other delicious meal or morsel. Recipies scribed in the book, however, are altered such that they are even more delicious than before.
Bag of Hurling
This ordinary-seeming brown paper bag has the unusual effect of being able to hold an unlimited quantity of vomit, in addition to suppressing the odor of said vomit. Placing any other item in the bag has no discernable effect. This item is often favored by dragon-riders who get airsick, or passengers on sea journeys.
Ultra-Sensitive Divining Rod
This Y-shaped stick will, upon command, detect the closest source of water. Unfortunately for most organic beings, the closest source of water is generally the wearer. The stick is rather pointy on its detecting end, forcing the wielder (if he/she is a source of water) to make a Reflex save or take 1d2 points of piercing damage from the forceful pointing of the rod.
This book, upon examination, appears to be a high-quality wizard's spellbook, and exudes a faint aura of transmutation. However, any spell scribed within its pages will be altered within 24 hours, such that it is now a recipe for oatmeal cookies, smoked duck, or some other delicious meal or morsel. Recipies scribed in the book, however, are altered such that they are even more delicious than before.
Bag of Hurling
This ordinary-seeming brown paper bag has the unusual effect of being able to hold an unlimited quantity of vomit, in addition to suppressing the odor of said vomit. Placing any other item in the bag has no discernable effect. This item is often favored by dragon-riders who get airsick, or passengers on sea journeys.
Ultra-Sensitive Divining Rod
This Y-shaped stick will, upon command, detect the closest source of water. Unfortunately for most organic beings, the closest source of water is generally the wearer. The stick is rather pointy on its detecting end, forcing the wielder (if he/she is a source of water) to make a Reflex save or take 1d2 points of piercing damage from the forceful pointing of the rod.
You are correct, sir (or madam)! And amazingly you seem to have mirrored my thoughts when I was composing it ("Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit our of my hat!")
It's been many MANY moons since I had French, and I did in fact remember that "bread" and "rabbit" sounded similar. As befits the family curse, the apparrent 50/50 chance to chose the right answer actually turned into a 90% chance of me choosing the wrong one.
I'm loving these, folks! Keep 'em coming!
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Was scrolling back through the forum and thought to add a couple that I've used in my games:
Scroll: Seen Servant
This looks to be a scroll of the spell "Unseen Servant", however careful examination will reveal that it was scribed in error and that part of the spell is missing. It can be learned as a normal spell.
When cast, it acts exactly like the spell "unseen servant" except that the servant which is conjured is visible to everyone. Unfortunately, the servant is an extraplanar being of such unspeakable horror that anyone who gazes upon it must make a Will save with a -10 penalty or run from the thing in abject terror. The servant will of course follow the caster, attepting to receive instructions from it's master. The servant looks different every time, so one cannot become inured to its appearance. There is a 1% chance that anyone falling prey to the terror of the servant will try to gouge out their own eyes rather than continue to look at the thing. However, if the caster is blind or blinfolded for the entire duration of the spell, it can be used safely. (He can simply shut his eyes before he casts, but if he gets even a glimpse of the thing he must make his save as normal).
Wand of Lightning Storms:
This finely carved wand appears to be a Wand of Lightning, and behaves as such. It can hold up to five charges and has the bonus of regenerating one charge every day. Unfortunately, wherever the bearer takes it, bad weather will follow. It will always be raining - anything from light drizzle to a torrential downpour and thunderstorm. This weather will persist no matter what the climate or season. Interiors will invariably be cold and damp, and the sun will almost never shine on the bearer for any reason.
Ring of Emphatic Flight:
Acts as a normal ring of flight, but the bearer must continually shout or sing at the top of his lungs in order to get it to work.
Circlet of Intellectual Superiority:
Appears to be a magic crown or circlet of sime kind - sometimes also a helmet or hat. When worn, the bearer becomes convinced that he is smartest, cleverest person int he world, capable of amazing feats of logic, memory, and problem-solving. It has no actual effect on the wearer's mental abilities, however. The item is cursed and the bearer will not willingly remove it.
Wonderous figurine (Broken):
This appears to be the standard Wonderous Figurine of an animal which will transform into the full-grown creature when commanded to do so. However, it is missing a limb, tail, head, or is badly cracked. When activated, it will transform into the creature in question, but whatever damage has been sustained will translate into a horrible wound which will either kill or debilitate the creature as soon as the transformation is complete. The creature may be healed/resurrected, but will always return to it's broken state when deactivated.
The Adding Machine of Lum the Mad:
This is a desk-sized apparatus festooned with evil-looking buttons, levers, jeweled lights, switches, and any number of flashy, noisy, arcane contraptions. When any attempt is made to use it, it will emit sparks, gouts of flame, and small (harmless) bolts of lightning, generate impressive gusts of wind, crackle with arcane power, manifest small apparitions, moan, hum, rumble, and sing like a pipe organ. Despite it's complexity, it's function can be easily mastered with some practice: it is a mathmatical engine with the equivalent computing power of a small pocket calculator circa 1985.
Scroll: Seen Servant
This looks to be a scroll of the spell "Unseen Servant", however careful examination will reveal that it was scribed in error and that part of the spell is missing. It can be learned as a normal spell.
When cast, it acts exactly like the spell "unseen servant" except that the servant which is conjured is visible to everyone. Unfortunately, the servant is an extraplanar being of such unspeakable horror that anyone who gazes upon it must make a Will save with a -10 penalty or run from the thing in abject terror. The servant will of course follow the caster, attepting to receive instructions from it's master. The servant looks different every time, so one cannot become inured to its appearance. There is a 1% chance that anyone falling prey to the terror of the servant will try to gouge out their own eyes rather than continue to look at the thing. However, if the caster is blind or blinfolded for the entire duration of the spell, it can be used safely. (He can simply shut his eyes before he casts, but if he gets even a glimpse of the thing he must make his save as normal).
Wand of Lightning Storms:
This finely carved wand appears to be a Wand of Lightning, and behaves as such. It can hold up to five charges and has the bonus of regenerating one charge every day. Unfortunately, wherever the bearer takes it, bad weather will follow. It will always be raining - anything from light drizzle to a torrential downpour and thunderstorm. This weather will persist no matter what the climate or season. Interiors will invariably be cold and damp, and the sun will almost never shine on the bearer for any reason.
Ring of Emphatic Flight:
Acts as a normal ring of flight, but the bearer must continually shout or sing at the top of his lungs in order to get it to work.
Circlet of Intellectual Superiority:
Appears to be a magic crown or circlet of sime kind - sometimes also a helmet or hat. When worn, the bearer becomes convinced that he is smartest, cleverest person int he world, capable of amazing feats of logic, memory, and problem-solving. It has no actual effect on the wearer's mental abilities, however. The item is cursed and the bearer will not willingly remove it.
Wonderous figurine (Broken):
This appears to be the standard Wonderous Figurine of an animal which will transform into the full-grown creature when commanded to do so. However, it is missing a limb, tail, head, or is badly cracked. When activated, it will transform into the creature in question, but whatever damage has been sustained will translate into a horrible wound which will either kill or debilitate the creature as soon as the transformation is complete. The creature may be healed/resurrected, but will always return to it's broken state when deactivated.
The Adding Machine of Lum the Mad:
This is a desk-sized apparatus festooned with evil-looking buttons, levers, jeweled lights, switches, and any number of flashy, noisy, arcane contraptions. When any attempt is made to use it, it will emit sparks, gouts of flame, and small (harmless) bolts of lightning, generate impressive gusts of wind, crackle with arcane power, manifest small apparitions, moan, hum, rumble, and sing like a pipe organ. Despite it's complexity, it's function can be easily mastered with some practice: it is a mathmatical engine with the equivalent computing power of a small pocket calculator circa 1985.
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