40 year old man wants to join my game

[ethandrew]

I’m 24, recently out of college. My current gaming group consists of me (the youngest), my brother (27), and four 40+, all of them gaming since ’77, one of them nearing 60. I have been gaming with them for 4 years now. I have also tried gaming with people closer to my age, not deliberately, it just happened that way. The age range was all early to mid 20’s. That group wasn’t even close to the quality of play that I got with the older group. The passion wasn’t there, it just seemed to be more of a place to drink and eat snacks, not about the story or characters. So, while this guy might be weird and shifty, I would recommend giving some veteran places a shot if you can. It’s made my experience all the better, and made me a better player who actually cares.

 

[Aristotle]

I'm not certain which side of this issue I fall on. I've played with the same people, all in my age range, for the better part of a decade. I don't know that I can keep gaming with them at this point, so I may be looking for a group. I'm 31, fast approaching 32. I work with folks in their twenties. I dig a lot of the same music and shows, and have even more in common with those that game.

I don't think I would be comfortable gaming with anyone, boy or girl, under 18 years of age. My limited experience with younger gamers has been bad. The few I've attempted to allow to game with my group have been obnoxious and shown no interest in role playing, but... if I found a group of people ages 18 to 21 who were serious about gaming, I'd take a seat at their table if they would have me.

I was a pretty mature teenager, so maybe I'm an oddity but... I don't feel any different at (almost) 32 than I did when I was 20. I get a little offended when folks in their twenties think I can't possible relate. As you get older you start to realize how little you change, and how little age really matters past extremes (which widen significantly).

 

[Midknightsun]

I don't think your Fallout Boy example is very far off from reality, actually. If I'm hanging out with my friends at a game, we aren't talking JUST about the game. We're a group of friends getting together - we may talk about a concert, girlfriends/wives, or a host of other things. I guess that other groups may be able to knuckle down and only talk about game-related things when they sit down at the table, but in the groups I've most enjoyed being in, we were friends who had common interests/reference points outside of "nerdery" (as my girlfriend so lovingly calls it...) I'm just more likely to have common ground with someone around my same age than with someone 20 years older or younger than I am.

Funny . . . I actually have that CD. . .sitting next to my Nickelback, Linkin Park, Clutch, AC/DC, Soundgarden,Tom Petty, and Guns and Roses CDs . . . I could probably talk current events and trends or wax nostalgic with someone 10 years younger or 15 years older without blinking. I've had girlfriends much younger and quite a bit older than me. I have friends aging from 20 to 52. And I've had players ranging from 18 to 68. It almost never came into play in my games or personal life, and even when it did, it was minimal. I know I'm not the only one that can do this without a problem. The generation gap isn't what it used to be.

I blame the internet . . . and MTV

Of course, your experience may vary.

 

[Zogmo]

I don't feel any different at (almost) 32 than I did when I was 20.

I am 42 and feel exactly the same. From lot's of much, much older people (especially men) I know and talk to it doesn't seem to be something that's ever going to change.

 

[Howndawg]

I'm 42 now. A few years ago, a bunch of younger guys asked me to be the DM for their group when they found out I played D&D. It was fun for a while, but eventually they drove me crazy and I hung up the screen. I can see where some people might get apprehensive, though. There are some guys my age who are rather freaky. One older gamer I knew had a fondness for teenagers of both sexes. I don't know if he actually did anything, but he was sure interested. Thankfully, guys like that are not too common.

 

[megamania]

A 40 year old man wants to join my game.

What makes me kinda go "wtf?" though is that this guy seems to be completely comfortable gaming with a group of strangers much younger then he, and I just can't get into his mindset. In any case, I won't be accepting him into the group (I met him at a Timmy Ho's in real life, and he's frankly more than a bit of a weirdo) but can anyone explain why I keep getting hits from mid 30 to 40 year old guys looking for game? Are people really that desperate?

,
--N

since I kinda resemble the question (I'm 38 and depending on group I mix well with everyone) Much depends on the people's maturity and what they are looking for in a game. I have played as a 19 year old with 40 year olds. But I am somewhat a "stick in the mud" with many things so we got along well.

As a near 40 year old I have DM'd for for as low as 8 year olds at pick up games. Needless to say, the game can change drasrtically according to age group and maturity.


As far as the commonness of 35+ gamers....

I know at this point I have gone through four seperate game groups that have broken up. 3 of these were because as you get older you have families and job responcibilities that interfer with gaming. These groups break up and leave a few players stranded that still want to play but have no remaining group of their age. So they look around and find new groups. Often these are made up of younger people.


As for his being weird..... wellllllll..... some people are just different. In a funny way

 

[Particle_Man]

I'm 35 and run games for 20 year olds, partly to "give something back" to the club I had games in when I was a student, and partly to "teach these young computer whippersnappers about *real* gaming, now GET OFF MY LAWN!" (note: that was a joke, I don't want to start a war on what is "Real Gaming"). And I also like to showcase games that they otherwise wouldn't try, like Castles and Crusades, Savage Worlds, Legends of Excalibur, and Iron Heroes (the last paid off, as one of the players liked it enough to run a game and now I get to *play* in an Iron Heroes game, mwahahaha!)

It was disconcerting when they called a dragon "Jolene" and I started singing the Olivia Newton-John song and no one got the reference.

That said, I also play with those closer to my age, or older than me.

And one time I ran a game for a group of 9 year olds (Castles and Crusades). And you know all those gamer stereotypes? They start damned early!

 

[Simplicity]

Really though my Crystal hasn't changed colors yet, I'm only 33.

Sorry, Yeti, but this reference means it's time for your renewal.

 

[megamania]

Funny . . . I actually have that CD. . .sitting next to my Nickelback, Linkin Park, Clutch, AC/DC, Soundgarden,Tom Petty, and Guns and Roses CDs . . . I could probably talk current events and trends or wax nostalgic with someone 10 years younger or 15 years older without blinking. I've had girlfriends much younger and quite a bit older than me. I have friends aging from 20 to 52. And I've had players ranging from 18 to 68. It almost never came into play in my games or personal life, and even when it did, it was minimal. I know I'm not the only one that can do this without a problem. The generation gap isn't what it used to be.

I blame the internet . . . and MTV

Of course, your experience may vary.

I think you're right. Folks look at my music and always ask what I'm doing with my kids music and their comicbooks (DnD and comicbooks are one and the same to many )

TV and radio in many ways are exposing everyone to each other's tastes more.

However, back to the question here. Its all about maturity and what you are looking for in a game group. Some of my 30+ players were more immature than the 12 year olds.

 

[Rodrigo Istalindir]

When I was just out of college, our group of 19-21 year olds had one player who was 30. We thought he was ancient.

In retrospect, that's pretty funny. But it was a minor concern at the time.

[Nelson]Ha-Ha![/Nelson]

Oh, wait.....