Some people love to argue. Those arguments are going to continue whether or not alignment is part of the game. Just like we're going to have that disruptive person that, instead of writing LG on their character sheet will write down "Leader, seeker of justice and truth".
Alignment isn't the root cause of the issues it gets blamed for, it just an attribute of the game that people latch onto; the problems will remain.
Again, my experience differs. These were groups that got along fine, specifically until we realized that we had different ideas about alignment. Radically different, in fact. And I use "groups" for a reason. This wasn't a single group. Usually, two or three people would be of one opinion and two or three would be of another (occasionally you'd get another lone position but not all that often.)
This is why I say that it is not the idea of "be a good person," but rather the fact that different people can have actually different ideas about what that means. Sure, maybe 90% of the time they'll agree on what the good actions are in a given context, and what the evil actions are, etc. But even something as simple as "well, that's not an EVIL action, but it still makes you less Good for having done it" has, in fact, been
quite controversial for groups I've played with.
Some people see it purely as a declaration: "this is what my character is, so what they do is that." No matter how much that may defy sense. Some see it as a purely descriptive pattern: "the sum of your actions up to now is this." Even though that conflicts directly with the idea of beings "made" of such a thing, or powers/forces directly comprised of the cosmic "stuff" of that alignment. Some see it as a "ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff," to appropriate a phrase, despite the other conflicts
that causes. I've even known some who see it as literally universe-imposed team jerseys, with no moral component whatsoever, because (as they saw it) that was
the only way to make it make sense.
And yes, this has meant that I now pretty much
have to engage in a long, in-depth conversation with any prospective DM (and, ideally, the group at large) about how they think alignment works and what impact it has on the world. Because if I
don't have that conversation, I get nasty surprises, more often than not. I get "I'm hoping for a world where heroism matters" cashing out as "the only heroes are those who die being heroic, but at least they accomplish something....for a little while. If they're smart and lucky." Now, I get that part of that is a "me" thing, as I love Paladins and especially playing a Paladin who hard-averts the "Lawful Stupid" archetype. But it sure as hell can't be
all of it, because it's happened in games where I've played sorcerers and bards and
tried to defy my natural LG tendencies.
Take two fighters.
Both have the same ideal, bonds and flaw.
Both are humans and come from the same town. Make them twins for all I care.
But one is LE the other is LG.
I dispute that the bolded things can happen in any situation other than--to use the hip phrase these days--a
white-room scenario. And I'm not even talking "two people would be unlikely to make perfectly identical characters." I'm saying, if alignment is supposed to mean anything at all, you SHOULDN'T be able to do the two bolded things simultaneously. Their values should ACTUALLY be different. And if those values cannot, even in principle, be represented by their ideals, bonds, and flaws,
what on earth DOES?